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am 21. Februar 1999
It was facinating to read the other reviews of this book. I can't help but be struck by how simple minded many of the negative comments about the book are. What they don't understand is that the vast majority of people are motivated by the desire to be appreciated. Because we are all so consumed with our own desire to be appreciated we often miss that elementry fact. The principles of this book are simple, but their implications are complex. Therefore, its occasional simplicity could never deminish its greatness. It seems to me that those who hold negative comments about this book felt as though they were being tricked. Remember, Dale teaches that we should communicate "honest, sincere" appreciation and admiration of others. Phoney is phoney whether it is in 1937 or 1997. Dale would never advocate the use of untruths in winning friends. People are not stupid, simply naturally motivated a few common factors. Some readers became defensive believing that they are to smart to fall for these techniques. But, you see, they are caught up in their own sense of selfworth, their own sense of importance. What a shame that the brilliance of the book was lost on them. Other readers had the ability to recognize that they were also motivated by a desire to be appreciated. Those are the readers who have changed the way they see human interaction. Man is a complex animal filled with instinct and the ability to reason. There are certain situations that cause the vast majority of people to react in the same manner- this is instinct. A perfect example is a smile from another. Your first impression of that person is that he is friendly. This thought is involuntary. That fact that we all respond positively to a smile does not mean that we are being tricked. We are simply receiving the nourishment that we crave. Still don't believe me. Imagine this situation honestly. You have always believed that Tom from work is an ass. But yesterday you had a conversation with you best friend from work when the subject of Tom came up. Your friend says to you, "Well, I don't know what you've done to Tom to make him think you are so great, but earlier today he told me that you are the most valuable employee in the company and that your integrity as a human being is unmatched". What do you think about Tom now? You can't help but to like him can you? I would like him. Why? My new openion of him is involuntary. I think I am important and deserving of recognition just like every other human being on the planet, and he gave me what I craved just like every other human being, honest sincere appreciation. If you liked the book, read it again. If you didn't like it, read it again. Otherwise, you will be doomed to wallow in your own ignorance of human relations forever.
Aaron J. Ruckman
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