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am 24. Januar 2016
This book is gem.
It's like a user's manual for living joyful rleationships.
After reading it and trying to appling at least a bit of it in the real world I've put the book immediately between my top 10.
Here two quotes that helped me a lot to open myself to new levels of being:
“A major event in our lives occurs when we shift our intentions from concealing to revealing.“ (p.84)
„It takes a special kind of courage to face and deal with our past incompletions. Often these incompletions are the most significant barrier to expressing our full creativity in the present. Go on a hunt for any area of incompletion, large or small, and you will not be disappointed. A burst of creativity will follow the completion of some long-left issue. Clearing up an incompletion gives you a feeling of aliveness that you can get nowhere else.“ (p.198)
Tremendous thanks to Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks
and the good woman who recommended this book to me.
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am 21. Mai 1998
The book is good in talking about couple communication. They do a good job discussing principles in relationships as well as pitfalls/pitfall management. I think that their resolution of the intimacy/autonomy is correct, but I think that they oversimplify that dilemma itself. Only other problem that I have with the book is that they overemphasize parental influence and the need to go back to your past to solve unhealthy behavioral patterns. Their concept of "co-commitment" is interesting. What I find curious, though, is that they assume that it is simple to become "co-committed" and that couples are either co-committed or co-dependent (a little too black and white for me). If a couple has some unhealthy patterns, then that does not mean that they have a dysfunctional relationship (but according to them, the relationship would be dysfunctional). In their defense, I think they present extreme examples to emphasize their principles. They rightly promote the need for accepting responsibility for one's own actions but do not point out the impact of chemical imbalance and mood disorders.
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am 22. Juni 1999
Though a bit black & white (co-committed OR co-dependent), I found this book to be very insightful. Emphasizes taking responsibility for yourself/your actions, telling the "microscopic truth" (what a concept!), and understanding obstacles to healthy, intimate relationships.
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am 2. Mai 1999
I'm usually a critic of warm-fuzzy, feel-good books, but this one seems really different. I found it a wonderful eye-opener not only for couple relationships but for one's own self as well. Highly recommended.
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am 17. Juli 1999
Every relationship in my world has been changed for the better by reading this book. I'm am truly a better person through Gay's and Kathlyn's gentle guidance. I am so grateful.
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am 8. Mai 1998
This book has caused the most growth I've experience in 43yrs. In tandem with the Basic Instructions Before Living Earth(BIBLE), I've not been more encouraged toward facing those 'demons' that have resided in me for so long; caused so much pain; damaged or ruin the lives of other people. It has been as a direct result of the techniques of the Hendricks, that I have faced the demon's of CO-DEPENDENCY...and have moved toward really living life to the fullest!! I have gained so much in a very short time. One of the best things about this paradigm shift, is that I can go back time and time again, to check and reinforce the principals and techniques...which makes me stronger and stronger! It has affected me in such a positive force that I've recommended it to not only friends and family, but to anyone I basically come in contact with - and being in the Career Counseling field and as a professional Musician, I come in contact with all types of people. And I just want people to KNOW...that any conditioning that causes "us" to limit our potential of being the very best that we can be as a "human being," not only destroy's the individual, but our society as well!
We MUST LEARN TO BE BETTER PEOPLE - LEARN WHAT CAUSES US TO ACT/REACT TO CERTAIN THINGS. LEARN TO BUILD "HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS FOR OURSELVES, WHICH CONSEQUENTLY DEVELOPE "HEALTHY CHILDREN!"
I started with the Bible, and I'm still in the Bible - now and forever. My next on-going project of self-assessment lead me to Stephen Covey's "7 habits"...from there, to "Don't sweat the small stuff" and now "Conscious Loving." I feel like I've just come across some choice steak!
My significant other and I were cresting to desolving our "entanglement"(as it were), I was fairly into the book...dealing basically with myself while trying to keep the relationship going, as Co-Dependent as it was. Then lights started coming on! I finally got her interested in the book; n! ot for me or us, but for herself! We're going into counseling now... as part of our Conscious agreement to a Co-commited relationship...not an entanglement!!! That's a positive about the relationship, but it's really about YOU, the INDIVIDUAL!! REALLY BEING THE BEST YOU CAN BE...REALIZING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL!
Thank you so much for re-teaching me HOW TO LIVE!!
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am 15. September 2005
I'm so thankful for this wonderful book. I'm reeding it the second time now and really putting it into practice. I'm open to learn and start to have a break-through - yesterday I managed for the first time to really listen to me instead of ignoring it and blaming my partner. Now I'm feeling so calm and peaceful. A appreciate so much the work of Hendricks - this book is written in such a lovely way and goes so so deep. Only reading it makes me calm, but luckily it is really a book to work on! Of course it takes a lot of work - but as the Hendricks say, this doesn't have to be painful: When we are willed to learn and to heal our wounds - the universe doesn't need to use catastrophes to wake us up! I can only suggest this great book to anyone who wants to heal their relationship - toward themselves and/or your partner. If you have always wondered, why there are certain things in your relationship coming over and over again, that really upset you - here is the right book to break out of it. There is so much wisdom in this book and the programm has been proven sucessful to thousands couples. I will soon read also the other books of the Hendricks. They are great authors!!!
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am 7. Juli 1999
After two divorces, it took reading this book to uncover the destructive patterns which plagued those relationships. "Conscious Loving" helped illuminate the underlying causes of those patterns so that I could lovingly accept responsibility, AND make new choices. My partner and I have both read the book and find that we are healing old wounds, and experiencing the deep intimacy we'd always craved -- but had never before achieved. I highly recommend that you keep a journal while you read this book to capture the revelations that are sure to follow.
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am 18. Dezember 1998
The Hendricks reveal the blocks to intimacy and happiness in human relationships. They expose problems as opportunities to explore our own blind spots. I have read this book several times over the last few years and give these methods complete credit for the joyous, fulfilling relationship I have had for the last three years. The book shows you how to be honest, take responsibility for yourself, and explore the core perceptions that sabotage your happiness. I have recommended this book to friends more than any other book I have read. If you want to get past your cycles of blame and pain, this is the book for you.
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am 10. Februar 2000
I have read and re-read this book and have found it to be the best book on building & healing relationship I have seen. Clearly distinguishes the subtle ways we sabatoge our relationships, then sets forth a clear new paradigm of being conscious creators with powerfully concieved steps and commitments, and excellent exercises for transforming oneself and others from victim to creator inside close relationships. Well organized, Conscious Loving is a stand-out contribution. Just the simple step of constantly "Claiming Creativity" has made a huge difference in my relationships.
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