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am 18. August 1999
Women Who Love Too Much has totally changed my entire life. I have been in search of a committed relationship for years. I have ended up in abusive, degrading relationships and had no idea how or why; more importantly, how to get out of the pattern. This book literally had my name on every page. It gives real life examples of people the author has counselled. I was able to identify with every one of them. It was so easy to see what was not working for those women when I read their stories. It is always so hard to see yourself and your own mistakes. While reading the book, I was able to clearly define moments in my life when I made mistakes, and then learned what other options there were to those situations. I was able to dissect my entire life to see when and where I learned certain "ways of being" especially in intimate relationships. Ways that were addictive and I could not stop myself. I read several sections over and over until I got every last word and could apply it to my life. The book has a section at the end that teaches you steps you can take to alter current patterns to make yourself well and strong.
I have always been extremely independent, extremely successful in business, popular, beautiful, smart and I make a lot of money. None of this had anything to do with the patterns imprinted on me from childhood that had me choose men who could not love me if they really tried. It is quite ironic. I always attracted gorgeous, successful, popular men, so you would think everything was great. But they did not love themselves and many of their own issues stemming from childhood disabled them to love someone else and treat them well. These were the only types of men I sought out and did not know it. By practicing what is taught in the book and being extremely determined (it is hard work) to take care of me first and not lose myself in a relationship, I was able to turn the whole thing around. I now have the most wonderful man on the planet. We are getting engaged and plan to be married in March of 2000. I feel as though I was blessed from the heavens. He treats me with respect, always thinks of me, does not make demands and simply is my best friend. It can actually be quite scary at times. I am so used to being the one that has to give everything.
There is another very important point I would like to make. I have a 13 year old son (I am only 32). By reading the book and applying the stories to my life and what I went through as a child and how my parents and others treated me, I was able to see how I was repeating some of those patterns with my son. At first this was beyond disturbing. I could not believe that the things that hurt me so terribly when I was young, I was now repeating. The thought that my son might grow up to be one of those men that I had dated, or worse yet, take on the same behaviors I did in an addictive relationship, was horrifying. When reading the book, I also applied the same life examination to my relationship with my son. I have altered our relationship drastically and am looking forward to raising him to be a happy, healthy man that will treat women with love, affection and support. I am giving this book to all of my friends (some men) and family for Christmas. To me, it is the greatest gift you can give someone.
0Kommentar| 5 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 23. Februar 2014
I bought this book because all my life I tried my best in relationships and they never quite seem to work. Was I obsessed with the wrong men? Not really and after reading this book I realised that I am not obsessed with men at all! I may have made the wrong choices driven by what happened in my past but I don’t try to change men to suit me. Even in my teens I proved to myself that rather than change a man I would like to find a man who wants to live his life the same way I do as I didn’t think it possible to change anybody to suit me. Every time a man would start promising me that he could change that would be a clue that I had to get out of that relationship. And I have always listened very well to them and tried to ask the right questions but my conclusion is that too many people lie when they want to convince a person they are interested in that they are the right one for them (even nowadays, the era of Internet dating sites, where you can post a very clear profile). I am very sorry about that as it creates huge misery for all concerned. What I have learnt from this book is that no matter what happened in my past I am a person very much worth loving and that the right person for me is out there! I have also learnt that I do want to be in a relationship where people discuss everything, are very open with each other, without fear that the other one will make bad use of what they are told. I also want a relationship based on mutual encouragement. I don’t think that praising each other is as negative as this book would make you believe. Of course there are women who are absolutely obsessed with relationships, often the wrong ones and I have known a few in my lifetime but loving a man even if he is not the perfect human being is not that wrong because no woman is either! I think that it is exactly the fact that you get to love each other’s less good traits that shows how much you love each other. It is very easy to love when everything is well, less easy if things go wrong! Sometimes maybe your partner needs help and it shouldn’t be wrong to tell him that! What I find wrong is abandoning someone just because that person has hit hard times. Of course, if nothing changes then it is maybe time to go at it alone but I would never abandon someone I love just because things have got tough. Yes, I have been known for staying too long in a hopeless relationship but at least I got out knowing that I did everything I could to save it as I wish someone would do for me! Do I have to learn to be more selfish? No doubt about that and I will surely try! So all in all this book was a useful read, even if a quite scary one! For me it would have been more useful if it wasn’t about such extreme cases and children of alchoolics but rather women who put a lot into a relationship and don’t get enough out of it but then maybe I come across some more suitable titles!
0Kommentar| Eine Person fand diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 17. Juli 1999
I am a very ambitious, independent young woman who believed that as long as I tried my best at everything... I will succeed. And I did, until recently when I lost a love of four years. I could never have imagined that the horrific pain I had to endure is shared with so many women all around the world. And I could never have known that the source of most of my pain...was myself. Four useful pointers Norwood mentions is to (1) let go of the need to change/help him (2) not "play the game" (3) make an affirmation (4) learn to cultivate and love yourself (5) let go of self-will. This book will give you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things that you can and the wisdom to know the difference. In my heart, AK always and forever.
0Kommentar| 2 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 6. Juli 2000
When I first started to read this book I could not put it down. I read it from cover to cover the first night. The book identified behaviors and feelings I wasn't even aware of. It was a painful look into my life, and yet it gave me the direction to make my life better. I have given it to countless friends, and I have never had anyone say it didn't help. It is a good book to re-read from time to time, as I did recently and saw that I was slipping into old behaviors with a relative. It put me back on track, and I was back to being happy again. This book is an invaluable tool to anyone who feels that for some reason they are not happy, and yet can't put their finger on it. It helps you see what you are doing wrong, and why you do it. It then guides you through fixing the problem.
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am 25. Januar 2015
Ich bin dankbar, dass ich auf dieses Buch gestoßen bin. Endlich verstehe ich das Muster, dass sich seit 3 Generationen durch die Familie zieht und mich in zahllose zum Scheitern verurteilte Beziehungen getrieben hat. Es lohnt sich, das Buch mehrmals zu lesen. Ein Muss für alle die sich fragen, warum ihre Beziehungen immer wieder scheitern obwohl sie alles dafür geben.
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am 28. August 2013
Amazing, shock inducing, eyes opening, pure horror and a source of light, extremely important reading for parents who want to stop a viscous cycle of dysfunctional home legacy.
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am 30. Juni 1999
I have a recent experience with my first man, he's 6 years younger than me, at the begining we were terrible happy but when we had intimity things turned complicated, he began to desapeared constantly. I must tell he has problems with his father when he was a little boy, he told me some time that he'll do everything to obtain his father's love. I really think he turned in my obssession because he was my first man, now I feel terrible alone, I feel some hate about him. I'd tried every thing to make our relation be fine even though he made me terrible things, like promesed to made something and just do another, leaving me alone or waiting him. Last january we had a discution, where he told me his father ask him to leave me because he felt our relationship was hurting me, as I have all my live planned and he's only a "child" (his father's words) we finished, but it's terrible to me because we work together, recently we talked after 05 months, but his way of thinking is just so easy as "I'm sorry but" nothing had happened to him, all we did didn't exist, he wants to be a friend; how easy for him, but rarely he always says that I'm so important to him. What's happening? I'm trying to forget and he comes every day to talk, asking how I feel and we were together at the end he just avoid me; once again, what's happening? I really need your opinion and help, please.
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I received a copy of this book from an ex-boyfriend. He said he's never done much for me before but this will make up for all of it. He told me to read it and I thought I'd glance through it quickly. I sat down and read the first and second chapters and thought that Robin Norwood wrote about me. I was shocked that she knew so much about me! I got out a highlighter and started again. It seemed that almost every other sentence was being highlighted. It was frightening. This was my life and he wasn't an alcoholic! The problem was me. That was 15 years ago. I am still buying copies because I keep having to give mine away to other dear girlfriends (and a couple of guys too). It teaches you a new way of looking at yourself and treating yourself. I thought I didn't have the time to read it, but instead I know now that I cannot afford not to read it and cannot afford not to share it with other women and men. Yes, men also love too much too, in the way that Robin defines. I read the book in two days. I could not put it down. It was so wise. You cannot change your upbringing, but you can change your future. If Robin Norwood reads this, I want to thank her so much for all that she has done for me and for my friends.
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am 26. Juni 1999
Do you keep hoping that if you just love him enough he'll change? Are you putting up with unacceptable behavior, just hoping he'll wake up and become that person you know he could be? If so, read this book. Perhaps you have been focusing too much on him. This book helped me understand my part in the sad relationship I was in. It made me aware of decisions I had made that got me to that state - decisions I was barely conscious (or unconscious) of making at the time. WIthout knowing it, I had operated most of my life with an assumption that I didn't deserve a relationship with an emotionally healthy man and that any man who was really healthy would not be interested in me. So I kept getting in relationships with men who had problems - problems I then tried to love them enough to fix. I thought if I just loved him enough, he would reciprocate by loving me enough. But it never worked. This one book taught me as much about myself as a year in therapy. WIth awareness came the possibility for change - and I have changed. This book was an important piece of the puzzle for me and played an important role in my becoming a much healthier, happier person.
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am 16. September 1999
I come from a family of many sisters. So many have married men with whom they now struggle. One sister was brave enough to divorce her first and second husbands, then discovered this book. Now, she has an awesome, loving, truly supportive husband! She purchased two copies of this book for each one of her siblings. We are all grateful! We have all read the book at least once and many of us have so dog-eared and marked up our first copy, that we were appreciative of the foresight for the second copy we had been given. I honestly keep this next to my King James Bible and I refer to it as my "Second Bible". I have to read from it daily. I can not describe with words the power I receive from my worn-out copy. I am ready to purchase a third copy because this one is getting quite tattered as well. I pray a prayer of thanks constantly for Ms. Norwood's inspiration which has changed the direction of my life and my family's lives as well.
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