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True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life von [Fileta, Debra K.]
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True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life Kindle Edition


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Produktbeschreibungen

Kurzbeschreibung

"...Your love life needs this book."  
---Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott  New York Times Best Selling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.

"True Love Dates blends the wisdom of a counselor with the sage experience of a woman who has made a wise marital choice"
--Gary Thomas, Best Selling Author of The Sacred Marriage and Sacred Search

Are you ready for a book that will Revolutionize your love life?
True Love Dates is the book that world-renown #1 New York Times best-selling authors and relationship experts Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott have claimed to be exactly what "your love life needs".

Relationships are hard aren't they...but what if they were never intended to be this difficult?  In True Love Dates, Professional Counselor Debra Fileta encourages singles not to "kiss dating goodbye" but instead, offers a new approach to dating by encouraging readers to do relationships in a way that is psychologically sound, emotionally healthy, and rooted in faith. 

What it comes down to is that healthy people make for healthy relationships. We often complicate that by entering relationships with our past baggage and preconceived ideas of what it means to find "the one".  But the good news is that it is possible to find love in a way that honors both God and the opposite sex. 

Debra Fileta simplifies this process by offering a "3-stage approach" to finding true love by Dating Inward, Outward, and Upward. She draws on her personal life and her experience as a Professional Counselor and provides a practical approach to finding and keeping a healthy relationship- but most importantly, to becoming healthy yourself. 

It's a book that is transforming lives and relationships. Why not see for yourself? Whether single, dating, or engaged- don't wait to read this book.  Your love life will thank you.

Be sure to check out the FAQ section in the back with answers to the Top 25 Dating Questions!

Produktinformation

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • Dateigröße: 3463 KB
  • Seitenzahl der Print-Ausgabe: 224 Seiten
  • Gleichzeitige Verwendung von Geräten: Bis zu 5 Geräte gleichzeitig, je nach vom Verlag festgelegter Grenze
  • Verlag: Zondervan (8. Oktober 2013)
  • Verkauf durch: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Sprache: Englisch
  • ASIN: B00BW2946Q
  • Text-to-Speech (Vorlesemodus): Aktiviert
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Aktiviert
  • Verbesserter Schriftsatz: Aktiviert
  • Durchschnittliche Kundenbewertung: Schreiben Sie die erste Bewertung
  • Amazon Bestseller-Rang: #528.518 Bezahlt in Kindle-Shop (Siehe Top 100 Bezahlt in Kindle-Shop)

  •  Ist der Verkauf dieses Produkts für Sie nicht akzeptabel?

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Amazon.com: 4.7 von 5 Sternen 184 Rezensionen
34 von 35 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Refreshing! Challenges the one-size-fits-all approach to Christian dating. 22. Oktober 2013
Von Rachel Karman - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
I will be honest, I am forever the skeptic when it comes to literature on dating. As both a young(ish) single gal and someone who works with teen/college-age girls I often shudder at some of the stuff written towards those in either or both categories about dating. Typically a book will encourage folks to steer clear from dating all together and just pray about it or go all in and date everyone around them in hopes of learning oneself (and disregarding the confusion that comes with said approach). I, however, found this book rather refreshing.

I appreciate greatly Fileta's charge to really examine yourself in light of God's word first and foremost. It is so easy for us to get wrapped up in how another can fill in the holes we think are missing in our lives without even recognizing it. Fileta charges her readers to take a long hard look in the mirror, while also not being held hostage to one's past.

I also appreciate Debra's approach dating with her background in mental health. Although in different fields, I too am in the caring profession and often watch the demise of sanity happen when someone starts dating the wrong person -- or even sometimes the right person. Dating is confusing and for many of us, really sucky :) Fileta really encourages her readers to observe themselves and their behaviors in light of this, which I think is so so poignant and important.

Lastly, I appreciate the use of Debra's questions throughout the book. It's easy to read through a book such as this one and miss out on the opportunity to really reflect and allow the text to change your heart/mind, the questions that are offered help usher you in this process.
22 von 23 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Comprehensive and Practical Advice 1. Februar 2014
Von Candice Gage - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
I first came across the work of Debra Fileta while reading RELEVANT. I soon found and subscribed to her blog, as her thoughts on healthy relationships are generally spot-on. Here in the Marry Well Lodge, we've frequently discussed Fileta's articles -- most recently, her thoughts on Mistakes to Avoid in 2014. When I received an email offer of a complementary copy of her book -- "True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life" -- I was thrilled.

I approached the book with fairly high hopes, and I wasn't disappointed. In the introduction, Fileta lays out a map for where her book will take you:

"If you've picked up this book, it's likely that you're searching for true love. Your desire for marriage may be strong, even feel like a preoccupation that you can't seem to shake. You might be sick and tired of being single and alone, watching your friends get knocked off, one by one, into the world of love while you feel more and more isolated. Maybe you found someone you thought was "the one," only to have your heart broken and your hopes shattered, alone once again. In a world that seems to cater to couples and families, sitting at a table for one is the last place you want to be.

But the ironic thing about finding true love is that it must start at a table for one."

And in that statement lies perhaps the greatest strength of Fileta's book. While many Christian dating books focus on honoring God and the other person, Fileta takes time to focus on the importance of introspection and personal growth. Only after you have learned to to be a whole person can you relate properly to other people and to God Himself.

Fileta's book is divided into four sections.

Dating Inward:
In this section, Fileta challenges her readers to take a journey of self-discovery, discovering who they are, where they have come from, and where they are going in life.

Dating Outward:
Once you know who you are, you are better able to know what you want. Throughout this section, Fileta lays out some practical tips for dating -- from understanding a relationship's seasons to having appropriate boundaries.

Dating Upward:
Some may wonder why Fileta left the God-section until the end, but her wisdom is seen in the takeaway -- this last portion of the book leaves your eyes centered on Christ, with tips for how to honor Him fresh in your mind.

Ask the Counselor:
Throughout the book, text boxes highlight frequently asked questions about dating. If you're interested, you can flip to this final section to read the answers.

As a whole, I found Fileta's book incredibly practical. While her focus remains rather broad, she covers a lot of ground quickly. Each chapter comes with questions for reflection, and several include journal prompts. The setup is flexible -- "True Love Dates" could be a quick, weekend read or a devotional gone through over a longer period of time. I highly recommend it.
14 von 15 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
4.0 von 5 Sternen A practical guide to the issue of dating 25. Dezember 2013
Von Joe W. - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
The book is broken up into four sections: Dating Inward, Dating Outward, Dating Upward, and Ask the Counselor (almost 50 pages covering 25 FAQs and Fileta's answers to them). In the first section, Fileta stresses getting to know yourself by asking, "Where do I come from?", "Who am I now?", and "Where am I going?" I think she makes some excellent points and would agree it is ideal to understand your own identity before becoming involved with someone else.

The second section begins with figuring out what you want in a relationship, looking at character traits and deciding which ones you would never want in a potential mate, which ones you would have to cautiously explore, and which ones you really desire and would even require to be present. The section then moves to the timing of a relationship, protecting your heart, and physical boundaries.

At one point, Fileta shares these thoughts: "Your story has far more to do with finding God's unique calling and purpose for your life than it does with finding the love of your life...Finding true love may be a beautiful portion of your story, but it was never intended to be the grand finale. It's too easy to work so hard on this one section of our story that in the meantime the rest of the book never gets written. God's plans never play out in our lives because we are so fixated on finding love that we don't take the time to look at where we are going." This struck a chord with me as it describes very well my own experiences with relationships before I met my wife.

The third section provides counsel on seeking after God and keeping your focus on His will for your life. By doing so, not only will you be more fulfilled in your life, you will be balanced and prepared for meeting a spouse when the time is right.

The fourth section covers 25 questions Fileta has encountered in her career.

Throughout the book, Fileta provides what I think is sound advice and counsel, both from a biblical and counseling perspective. I also feel her approach is much more balanced than other books I've read on the topic of Christian dating. One thing I didn't notice her getting into was a formal definition of dating, which would have been helpful (another book I read recently, I Gave Dating a Chance, uses the dictionary definition of "social interaction" for dating). Fileta doesn't give a formula for the involvement of friends and family in dating relationships, which I also think is somewhat helpful as it leaves her thoughts adaptable to whatever dating might look like to a specific individual.

I would have appreciated more specific Scripture references instead of more generalized statements. Also, the chapters are fairly short, and the topic could definitely be expanded upon.

Overall, I'd rate this book 4/5.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <[...]> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <[...]> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
12 von 13 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Sound, Practical Advice For Dating From a Christian Perspective 16. Oktober 2013
Von Marcia Wilwerding - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
Debra Fileta's book, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life, is a refreshingly balanced look at the preparation, the journey, and the culmination of healthy relationships in finding one's life mate. However, from the very beginning, she emphasizes that Christ must be the main focus and foundation for building that relationship which may ultimately lead to marriage.

Debra answers many questions about dating from both a spiritual and rational perspective. I appreciate the fact that she offers no cookie cutter, one-size-fits all solution to every dating issue, and yet her considerations may be practically applied to real life situations. And, she never leaves Christ out of the picture, but instead keeps Him front and center in every decision.

Whether you are a mature single adult who is ready to find a mate or a young adult who is only beginning to contemplate the search for lifelong love, you would do well to think seriously about it with the sound advice found in this book. I would also suggest that parents, whether using the courtship or dating method of guiding their children into marriage, would do well to read this book along with them. There are important things to consider for everyone. I would also suggest that pastors, mentors, and counselors have a copy of True Love Dates ready to share and a copy on loan in the church library.
24 von 29 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
2.0 von 5 Sternen My honest review. 20. Januar 2014
Von smith - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
I had hoped this book would be a great resource in working with young adults. I read through it with a group of college students and while we found it to have some nuggets of wisdom throughout and to be a good catalyst for conversation, overall it was a disappointment.

A few thoughts on the book…

1. The author frequently shares stories of her clients (particularly their mistakes/downfalls), almost always immediately followed by how she and her husband did things “correctly” in their dating relationship. I don’t know much about the rules about sharing clients’ stories in a book (I assume she has their permission and has changed the names), but I was struck by how many stories she shares of the brokenness of others in contrast to the near perfect dating relationship she had with her now husband.

2. At the very start of part 2, “Dating Outward,” she suggests making a list of “reds, yellows, and greens” of what you are looking for in a partner. [Reds= traits she would never allow in a partner, yellows=ask more questions, proceed with caution, greens=must have traits] This idea is undoubtedly wise. However, her explanation of how to compose a list of red traits, left us a little stunned. She states, “I would never attempt to write someone else’s red list.” Then in the following sentences gives examples of “reds that should make everyone’s list.” This is just one example of a handful of times where the author seems to contradict herself. Additionally, the list of “must-have reds” basically says that there are some people who are not worthy of being in a relationship. While the rest of the book attempts to bring readers into the knowledge of the grace of God through Jesus, this particular section seemed to give the impression that some people may be excluded from the redemption of Christ. She writes, “If you don’t hear anything else in this section, hear this: you cannot change reds.” If you identify with any of the traits in the red list (as some of my students did), you would most certainly feel unworthy to be in a relationship, but even more so unable to be transformed by God.

3. In the frequently asked questions section, she addresses what I would consider one of the most asked questions by Christian young adults, “how far is too far?” Again, she uses a list of “green, yellow, and red zones.” She gives a list of “acts” that would be appropriate in every day life (green zone), a list of actions for a healthy relationship (yellow zone), and a list of three acts (red zone) that are “always sexual.” As students and I were discussing this section, they pointed out that she never addresses oral sex anywhere in the book. Answering this FAQ was the opportunity to do that. If you’re going to write a book about dating in 2013 to young adults, I think it’s a huge oversight to not include thoughts about that topic.

4. There is really nothing new here in this book. The author does bring some wisdom throughout the book though—so if you can get past the author’s somewhat nauseating fairytale story of her own relationship, it may be worth the read.

Would I recommend the book? Probably not. Although it was a source of great conversation starters – so if you are interested in reading it for yourself, read it with someone and discuss it together.
If you work with young adults and wonder if it’s worth recommending, I would say only if you’re reading and discussing it with them.
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