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am 30. Oktober 2014
Ein wirklich ausgezeichnetes Buch über schädliche Eltern-Kind-Beziehungen, es bringt erleuchtende Klarheit in die Vielfalt der oft im unsichtbaren Bereich bleibenden Kindesmisshandlungen, erklärt den Grund der bei toxischem elterlichen Verhalten entstehenden Schäden und wo der Ansatz zur Heilung liegen muss.
Mit größter menschlicher Ehrlichkeit und Klarheit bricht die Autorin alle Tabus der Gesellschaft, die uns glauben machen wollen, dass die Eltern letztlich nur unser Bestes wollten und dass man vor allem vergeben muss .... wobei sie selbst als Person mit großer Herzenswärme und Verständnis in Erscheinung tritt und trotz allem eine sehr positive Menschensicht vermittelt.

Ein großes Kompliment an Susan Forward, die es geschafft hat, komplexeste psychische Vorgänge auf einen einfachen aber immer noch wahren Nenner zu bringen indem sie wahrhaft zum Kern der Tatsachen vorstößt - und es dabei noch schafft, das Buch leicht lesbar und in keiner Weise langweilig zu gestalten.
5 Sterne sind hier beinahe zu wenig - Schade dass es dieses Buch nur in englischer Sprache gibt - vielen Menschen könnte mit diesem Werk geholfen werden.
0Kommentar| 4 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 23. März 2000
After reading the one-star review by the reader from NY on March 14, 2000, I had to respond. It seems to me this person is awfully defensive and, I suspect, is guilty of some of the behavior that is described as abusive in the book...
No parent is perfect. We all know that. This book is not about demonizing parents. It is about learning to recognize incidents in our lives that adversely affect our behavior and our emotional well-being. I bought this book because of problems my husband and I were having with his parents. Since he was a child, he had been put into a role of emotional partner to his mother. When he decided to start doing some things on his own, she got very upset and started pouring on the guilt. I arrived on the scene at about the same time and became a convenient scapegoat, accused of manipulating him and stealing him away from them. Unfortunately (before I found this book and other helpful ones) things got really bad, and now we have virtually no relationship with my in-laws. It's a very sad situation. However, my husband and I now recognize the games for what they are and no longer buy into the idea that it's our fault for "upsetting" them so much that they just can't be around us. (If I hadn't experienced it myself, I wouldn't have believed that adults could behave in such an irrational manner! ) Reading books like this one and speaking with counselors has provided us with useful insights that will help us interact with them in a healthy manner, if we ever get the chance again.
If you're going through this too, you are NOT alone! Get this book and read it. It helps you recognize behaviors that are harmful to you. It helps you learn to overcome problems in the past and avoid inappropriate treatment in the future. I also recommend the book "The Adult Child's Guide to What's Normal" by John C. Friel and Linda Friel for anyone who found this book helpful. It's not as detailed, but it gives a lot of information in a very easy-to-read format. If you're being manipulated by your parent(s), I recommend "Emotional Blackmail," also by Susan Forward. If you were put into an inappropriate role by your parents, I strongly suggest "Emotional Incest Syndrome" by Patricia Love and Jo Robinson. The title is disturbing but the information is excellent!
0Kommentar| 11 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 8. Juni 2000
As children, we assume that what exists in our home is "normal." Only as adults are we sometimes able to grasp the reality of what life in a dysfunctional family truly was all about. TOXIC PARENTS is a very useful guide to overcoming the often crippling effects of a childhood in an abusive family. In a society which frequently loves to blame the victim, TOXIC PARENTS can help to heal wounds inflicted on children by adults who themselves were the victims of abusive childhoods.
PLEASE CLICK ON MY NAME, ABOVE, TO VIEW OTHER TERRIFIC, OFTEN UNDERRATED BOOKS AND CDS.
0Kommentar| 3 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 20. November 1999
I have been interested in the field of childhood trauma for ten years and found Toxic Parents to be one of the most direct and practical things I have ever read. I think it will be transformational both for individuals who are trying to move beyond a difficult past and for therapists who want to grapple with a remarkably simple and direct approach to psychological healing. The more I think about this book, the more I realize how strange (and telling) it is that the author's approach is not already standard in the fields of self-help and psychotherapy. I suspect it will be before long; it's just too good, too real, and too direct not to become so. There really isn't much else I want to say about this book; read it and decide for yourself. If you're miserable, order it by One-Click.
There are several other books that, like Toxic Parents, go to the core issues. For the typical self-helper, these books will be a more challenging read than Toxic Parents, but I think many will find them worth the effort. For therapists and intellectually sophisticated self-helpers, these books are essential. The books I refer to are (a) anything and everything by Alice Miller (including Prisoners of Childhood [read the original text, currently available only in hardcover], For Your Own Good, and Banished Knowledge); (b) Betrayal Trauma by Jennifer Freyd; (c) Making Sense of Suffering by J. Konrad Stettbacher; and (d) Soul Murder by Morton Schatzman. Note that this last book is inexplicably out of print; don't confuse it with an in-print book of the same title by Leonard Schengold; you can get Schatzman's book from libraries or via interlibrary loan.
Toxic Parents, plus the other books just listed, should be considered core reading for anyone serious about psychological healing. There might be some others that I haven't "discovered" yet (emails welcome!), but these are pretty darn great. In my view, the world is stuffed full with facile self-help books and bloated psychological trash. If some magical spirit could wipe them all into a big, green, smelly dumpster, and replace them with the books discussed here, the world would rapidly become a much happier and healthier place.
0Kommentar| 5 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 28. September 1999
This book verbalized so much of what I couldn't make sense of as a child. Forward has an unusual understanding of the workings of "toxic parents" -- indeed, the very term "toxic" describes very well (much more descriptive than the word "abusive," which is rather general and is now associated with many things) the nature of such parents. One of the unusually insightful things that Forward does in this book is that she dares to suggest that it is not necessary to forgive one's toxic parents to heal. This is a controversial stance she takes, but from personal experience, I see her statement to ring true. As a client of hers summed up, "God wants me to get better more than he wants me to forgive." Naturally, Forward's statement should not be misconstrued as to mean that you should not forgive. She merely means that forgiveness should come as a second step in the healing process, if at all. The book offers very insightful and helpful healing tools. The checklists and exercises the author has devised are right to the point and obviously evidence a lot of thought and care on the author's part. This seems to be one of the best books out there to help abused children/adults of abusive parents. Bonuses: very little, if any, psychobabble!! Also, very easy-to-read language. For adult abused children dealing with issues related to past abuse, this book will most certainly bring up many emotions.
0Kommentar| 3 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 5. September 2014
Very good book that really helped me to get some insight into bad patterns and traps one falls into as an adult who has grown up with a difficult parent. It really helps you overcome some hurdles in life and better it.
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am 23. November 1999
I first read this book six years ago. I found it confronting and very supportive. I believe this book has the power to encourage a lot of personal growth for people who have experienced abuse of all types in their childhood. What I found particularly effective about this book was that it covered a range of abuse patterns, which I believe many abusive parents use. Other books I have read tend to focus on one form of abuse exclusively, whereas if you have experienced physical abuse or sexual abuse, you may be likely to have experienced verbal and psychological abuse also. I read through this book with a pencil in hand, I found so many parts that rang true for me. The checklists in the book are a way of gauging honestly where you in dealing with your life and your relationship with your parents. Now six years later, I have just reread this book and I see how much I have grown in this time. No longer is this book so confronting for me, I was more able to appreciate the suggestions and exercises made. I have been thrilled to see that this book had planted seeds of thought and realisation within me, and that over the years I have been able to instigate real change within me and in my relationship with my parents. These relationships are far more real and true to me. I now speak with more personal authority and honesty to my family. One criticism I have is the way that confrontation is seen as a necessary goal. It is certainly helpful if it feels right and necessary to the reader, but i feel that the most effective form of healing is to reach a point in ourselves where we know our own truth and set out our own rules, whether we need to confront our family with our truths or not. I think in many ways survivors of abuse have attempted to reach out to their families and communicate their feelings, but I take on board that this may be more effective with self-knowledge and improved communication skills.Personally I have tried confrontation and found it ineffective, but by believing in myself, being honest and creating a life that is right for me, I have found freedom. This may not be the case for many readers, so I do not mean to deter you. I offer my silent support. All in all, this is an extremely useful, supportive and valuable book which I would recommend to anyone who wants to improve their relationship with themselves, their families and create a life which has more potential for truth and happiness
0Kommentar| 2 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 1. April 1999
Read this book with an open mind. It not only made me aware of my relationship with my parents, but with my son as well. It brought into focus how parents can and do make mistakes, some of which can cause a lifetime of hurts and problems. The focus is not on blame, but on understanding. Educating ourselves is the first step in change. Toxic Parents gave me a new outlook on parenting which in turn has changed our lives for the better by far. Please take the time to read this wonderful book, for your sake and your child's sake!
0Kommentar| 4 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 23. Mai 1998
My life changed after I read this book in 1988. I finally understood how my childhood shaped my adult life. I was able to forgive my parents for some of their behaviors toward me and my siblings. I don't care what they do with their lives, I just learned how to not let their dysfunctional behavior affect my life any longer.
I recently gave a copy of the book to my husband who also grew up in a dysfunctional family. He is not even finished with the book and has already come to a new understanding of his life. It has already started helping him break the grip of a controlling parent. He is really letting go.
We decided that we weren't going to continue the cycle that was started by our parents. We intend to raise our child in an emotionally healthy environment.
I recommend this book to everybody who wants to take control of their feelings and their life.
0Kommentar| 2 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden
am 9. Juli 1999
I have been troubled for years with a reoccuring depression and finally was able to speak to a counselor. The first question she asked me was what was my relationship with my Mother and Father. It was always negative saying I could never do anything correct - I always felt I wasnt good enough for them. It also reflected my life as I got older and was in many relationships that I thought that was all I good get. That I was not good enough for anyone better. This book has made me realize I have to turn negative thoughts into positive ones and why I think like I do today.
0Kommentar| 2 Personen fanden diese Informationen hilfreich. War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?JaNeinMissbrauch melden

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