- Gebundene Ausgabe: 219 Seiten
- Verlag: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers (7. Februar 2013)
- Sprache: Englisch
- ISBN-10: 144222018X
- ISBN-13: 978-1442220188
- Größe und/oder Gewicht: 16 x 2,3 x 23,5 cm
- Durchschnittliche Kundenbewertung: 5 Kundenrezensionen
- Amazon Bestseller-Rang: Nr. 1.203.833 in Fremdsprachige Bücher (Siehe Top 100 in Fremdsprachige Bücher)
- Komplettes Inhaltsverzeichnis ansehen
Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get on with Life (Englisch) Gebundene Ausgabe – 7. Februar 2013
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Indispensable insight and advice for anyone who feels a loss of control due to his or her relationship with a toxic person. This book offers hope that control and confidence can be regained, while offering understanding that allows for prevention of such psychologically damaging relationships in the future.--Scott Barry Kaufman, Ph.D., adjunct asssistant professor of psychology, New York University
Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Nacissist is a well written book which highlights in straight forward language how people get caught in pathological caretaking roles. The author provides a self-assessment test which itself will help people recognize just how they have allowed themselves to be manipulated into being self-defeating, pathologically altruistic and how they unwittingly may collude with their borderline or narcissistic partner. She also offers clinical insights and advice on how to progress from being in a negative " drama triangle" to a more autonomous person in a "caring triangle" based on mutuality and reciprocity. This book is a self-help manual for identifying and changing maladaptive behavior.--Stefan A. Pasternack, M.D. DLFAPA, affiliate clinical professor of psychiatry, Florida Atlantic
If your borderline or narcissistic family member won t or can t get help, this book will help you get over your fear, obligation and guilt and get on with your own wonderful life.--Randi Kreger, borderline personality disorder expert and advocate, the author/coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder"
Margalis Fjelstad 's Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist is a must-have tool for disentangling from Borderline/Narcissistic Personality family patterns. I especially appreciate the important distinction made between codependency and caretaking. This book makes a complicated subject easy to read and understand. Fjelstad skillfully puts things in perspective by giving thorough attention to Rescuer/Victim/Persecutor dynamics in the 'Drama Triangle. --Elayne Savage, PhD, practicing psychotherapist, workplace coach and author of Don t Take It Personally! The Art of Dealing with Rejection"
Über den Autor und weitere Mitwirkende
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD, LMFT, has a private psychotherapy practice in Ft. Collins, CO, specializing in work with clients who are in relationship to someone who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, and she facilitates groups on Caretaker recovery. She has previously been an Adjunct Faculty member at Regis University in Colorado Springs and at California State University in Sacramento.
With every page I want to shout YES, that is us, that is me..... our story is written all over this book. Now I see the true madness of our relationship but the sad part is that there was a lot of love too, at least from my side, as I can't answer for him. I thought that this relationship was the crowing on my difficult life, that we were going to grow old together.... Now I see that not only was he in need of urgent help but me too! After reading the book "Call off the search" I had a session with Andrew Wallas. When I told him that my husband is ill he told me that I am ill too. I was not happy to hear that, after all I had done so much my best to make our relationship work, often on my own..... but yes, I was ill as well, and I am still ill because this will take many years to cure, if ever! I was a willing Caretaker, no one forced me. I did it with the best intentions but in the later years even I could see that the association with me, no matter how hard I tried, wasn't good for my husband. I still weep as I write this...... I still feel that I failed him but maybe, as I read on, I will be able to get over it! More and more I come to the conclusion that there aren't many good therapists, so many times reading a book written by a really good one is worth a lot more than months or years of expensive therapy. That said the book does have a lot of repetitions which is a problem of many modern self-help books but.. despite that.... very much worth reading!
Right now I have the feeling that I have wrecked my life and my health. I am at a point in my life where I won't be able to build a career anymore, maybe not even to get a decent job, so I am facing a terrible old age if I survive that far, but at least my soul will have found some peace! Even my hotshot lawyer is trying to rip me off. The fact that my husband doesn't seem to recognise his role in the failing of our relationships (although he does realise that he suffers from BPD and that he abused me) and doesn't care about what happens to me is extremely painful. But it was very healing to read in this book that I did my best under extremely difficult circumstances (a couple of therapist said so too, but so far I wasn't convinced, now I am!). The book seems to be about staying with the BPD/NP which is not my case. I wish it focused more on people who got out of the relationship, how they can get their lives back on track and leave behind a terrible time of their lives! As far as getting psychological help in the UK I have no illusions, as most help offered is very scarce and very generalist. One thing is for sure..... I will probably end up with nothing and facing a terrible old age, even though I should have right to quite a bit of money but I will get out with my dignity intact! No money in the world pays for that and I am writing a book which I hope will bring hope to people like me!
As far as the abuse goes I read a very good book which I also sent to my husband and which made him come to terms with all the abuse that went on in our relationship: "Why does he do that".
I will update my review when I finish reading this book!
Made me realize a lot of things about myelf and my relationships, i love, that it is not about blaming the other person, rather about the things you could do better.
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