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Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-Of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 19. Juli 2011

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  • Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-Of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship
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  • The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know about Living with BPD
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Produktbeschreibungen

Pressestimmen

"Try out the recommendations this book gives you. You will be surprised by how much better your relationships become."--from the Foreword by Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, Director, Behavioral Research and Training Clinics, University of Washington

"The title says it all! Dr. Manning explains what she has learned about the true nature of BPD from the experts themselves--those who have the disorder. She shows family and friends how our instinctive responses to the crises associated with BPD are frequently ineffective or even harmful, and illuminates what we can do differently, providing practical, incisive, step-by-step guidance. We highly recommend this book."--Jim and Diane Hall, Family Educators for the National Alliance on Mental Illness and the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder

"More than many other disorders, BPD affects relationships. This book offers families and friends invaluable skills for helping both their loved one and themselves. Dr. Manning has done a beautiful job. A 'must read.'"--Perry D. Hoffman, PhD, President, National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder
"Try out the recommendations this book gives you. You will be surprised by how much better your relationships become."--from the Foreword by Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, Director, Behavioral Research and Training Clinics, University of Washington
"The title says it all! Dr. Manning explains what she has learned about the true nature of BPD from the experts themselves--those who have the disorder. She shows family and friends how our instinctive responses to the crises associated with BPD are frequently ineffective or even harmful, and illuminates what we can do differently, providing practical, incisive, step-by-step guidance. We highly recommend this book."--Jim and Diane Hall, parents of an adult child with BPD and Family Educators for the National Alliance on Mental Illness and the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder

Über den Autor und weitere Mitwirkende

Shari Y. Manning, PhD, is a clinician in private practice and the former President/CEO of Behavioral Tech and Behavioral Tech Research, the organizations founded by Marsha M. Linehan to provide training in DBT. Dr. Manning has focused on the treatment of people with BPD since 1993. She lives in Columbia, South Carolina.


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Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
Einfühlsam, objektiv, gut erklärend und mit wirklich hilfreichen Tipps.

Ich denke, dieses Buch kann Ihnen helfen, suchen Sie als Partner/in eines/r Borderliners/in wirklich Hilfe, was SIE tun können - und was Sie nicht mitmachen brauchen (und was sie wie machen sollen).

Ich als Betroffene fand jetzt die Beispiele manchmal etwas krass, aber die Ausprägung der Störung ist ja unterschiedlich.
Hier lernt an das wertfreie Kommunizieren, auf die eigenen Grenzen zu achten, klar und rücksichtsvoll zu sagen, was die eigenen Bedürfnisse sind. Also wie man mit einem Borderliner kommuniziert, damit er versteht, was man von ihm möchte - und was nicht.

Natürlich wird auch erklärt (eben wertfrei), wieso sich jemand mit Borderline-Störung so verhält, wie er sich verhält. Es ist sehr aufschlussreich und verständlich geschrieben.

Ich finde, auch Betroffene können sich das Buch als Ratgeber durchlesen, was die Umgangsweise (Kommunikationsleitfäden, Achtsamkeit auf sich selbst) angeht.

Sogar für nicht-Borderliner-Beziehungen finde ich den Part der Kommunikation, also wie man sich ausdrückt um Wünsche, Grenzen und Misstände mitzuteilen empfehlenswert.

Ist allerdings auf englisch. Das sollte man können. Ich (C-Level) finde es aber nicht zu anspruchsvoll geschrieben. Wer sich auf englisch unterhalten kann, kann auch das Buch verstehen, denke ich.

Große Empfehlung! Im Gegensatz zu so vielen anderen Ratgebern zum Thema, wird hier nicht Stigmatisiert, Gekränkt, Schuld hin und her geschoben, gewertet (abgewertet) oder der Borderliner als "schlecht" abgestempelt. Hier wird gezeigt, was in einem Borderliner vor geht.
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...but that's okay, it is a great, helpful, empathic book. The wonderful thing about DBT therapists is that they treat BPD patients with care, and hope, intelligence and patience. Shari Manning asks us to do so as well, and trusts as to be able to. In a very dark time, this book has given me and my spouse a lot of hope, and me and much better understanding of her soul.
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Format: Kindle Edition
I bought this book after reading the reviews, which were mostly very positive, but I have to confess that I didn’t like it, not that it hasn’t given me important information but it is so very repetitive that I am having a lot of trouble finishing it. I wish there was a book only directed to the partners and spouses of BPD patients, as the situation is different when you share your life intimately with that person. Also often the anger and frustration the person with BPD feels is directed to the person who shares his or her life. In my case my husband decided to divorce me, but the suffering is far from over because in his anger against me he will succeed in leaving me without enough to live into old age, because he filed for divorce in a country where he knew that I would have hardly any rights: France. I am now a shadow of what I used to be when I met him.

This book helped me to see that I did a lot of things right, although I am not a mental health care professional, but I also did many things wrong. I don’t want to beat myself up because I had no support whatsoever through all this ordeal. I have forgiven him because in a way I understand that he can’t help it, but what should have been the cherry on the top of my life, with a man I very much loved, became a nightmare. I wish there were groups to support family members, even after a relationship breaks up, because that would have been very healing for me and for a lot of people.

The book gives you information on the symptoms of BPD, the problems they cause and how you can deal with them so that you help your loved one and try to keep yourself sane.
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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0x9319aedc) von 5 Sternen 150 Rezensionen
103 von 106 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x931b0a74) von 5 Sternen Good advice ... hard to do. 10. Oktober 2011
Von T. Brown - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
If you are a trained therapist, the basic tactic in this book may work easier for you. It takes a lot of practice and patience to use the tools and advice given. The gist I get from it is to take the emotion from your response to the BPD out of the equation and also offer your understanding in a confirming statement. They give a few examples of the types of thing's they mean, and what is and isn't a confirming statement. This does help keep interactions and communication's from escalating to high intensity, in many cases, but it is very hard to do when the boyfriend I love is either emotionally very high or very low and he is trying to get an emotional response from me. I have been able to use this advice over the last 3 months and it has helped. We've been able to have less heated fights and get to more understanding of each other, I feel. The more calm and stable I remain, the more he remains so too ... but I have to contain myself first and always. I have to rethink and reword most of the immediate thing's I'd like to say to him, which helps him from not going off the deep end, but I feel he does not get the seriousness of the situation at times. Also giving a confirming statement as to validating him, I feel as an addict that he is, makes it seem that I am condoning his actions or words, so he continues to do destructive behaviors. Maybe I'm not doing it quiet right or I'm expecting to much.
Over all the book is helpful, and there are no quick solutions ... it's all work, hard work when loving a BPD.
73 von 76 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x931b0cc0) von 5 Sternen Eye-Opening 11. November 2013
Von Destiny - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
Ok, so I have only read 1/3 of this book so far, and I will come back and write another review after finishing, but if you love someone who has BPD then you definitely need to read this. My husband has been incorrectly diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, adhd, severe depression, etc. However the 20+ pills he takes everyday have never seemed to help or they just comatose him. We have been together ten exhausting years, with many moments of extreme behavior and many moments of the wonderful person he can be. I have often thought that not only was he crazy, but also mean, manipulative, and a free loader b/c he has never been able to hold down a stable job. I've often accused him of wanting to be with me so I could take care of him financially. After reading the short amount of this book that I have, so many things make perfect sense. It has been very eye opening and is a must read for anyone who has a loved one with borderline personality disorder. At the very least it will help you to realize your loved one does love you but has not developed the necessary skills to be a functioning member of society (to various degrees). It will also allow you to change your reaction to their actions, which can help them change. This book is already such a blessing to me, and I am so thankful that Dr. Manning has taken the time to educate those of us who just happen to love someone with this disorder.
45 von 46 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x931b0c84) von 5 Sternen Very Helpful 26. Februar 2014
Von Lance T. - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
I have also read "Stop Walking On Eggshells". I like the approach of this book much better. Eggshells seems confrontational, but the approach of this book is trying to foster an understanding and helping the person you love.
33 von 35 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x931b127c) von 5 Sternen non-judgemental, helpful 17. Januar 2012
Von bg - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
I have read many books on this subject, but this has been far the best in helping me both understand this disorder and deal positively with it. It really helps me be more compassionate and patient, and at the same time, helpful in my dealings with the person close to me that has this problem.
51 von 58 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x931b1030) von 5 Sternen Perfect! 6. Januar 2012
Von P. Giraffe - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
No one has ever made me feel like they understood borderline... And the way it is talked about in this book eases the knot in my stomach so well. Everything is worded perfectly and it seems like a real person writing it instead of a random doctor being all technical and impersonal. So basically... I love it!!! (This coming from a borderline themselves).
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