- Taschenbuch: 336 Seiten
- Verlag: Vermilion; Auflage: Trade Paperback. (27. August 2015)
- Sprache: Englisch
- ISBN-10: 0091955033
- ISBN-13: 978-0091955038
- Größe und/oder Gewicht: 13,5 x 2,5 x 21,6 cm
- Durchschnittliche Kundenbewertung: 1 Kundenrezension
- Amazon Bestseller-Rang: Nr. 1.845 in Fremdsprachige Bücher (Siehe Top 100 in Fremdsprachige Bücher)
Rising Strong (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 27. August 2015
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"A mind-blowing, life-changing read … gets to the heart of life" (Red magazine)
"An inventive approach to self-help and healing from an author who has helped countless readers change their lives." (Kirkus)
"Brené Brown is the master of hope, of believing things could be all right as well as finding ways to try and make them better." (Metro)
A powerful new book from Brené Brown, the international bestselling author of Daring Greatly, on how to have the courage to embrace fear, failure and vulnerability to create a life you loveAlle Produktbeschreibungen
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This isn't another book telling you it's okay with fail. No, the assumption is that you have failed or will do so in the not too distant future. What will you do when it's time to get back up? In the author's words, "my goal for this book is to slow down the falling and rising processes: to bring into our awareness all the choices that unfurl in front of us during those moments of discomfort and hurt, and to explore the consequences of those choices." In this book, she uses stories and research, but unlike previous books, many of the stories in this one are her own personal ones. That makes it feel a little less like a book and a little more like an encouraging yet tough-love conversation with a trusted friend or mentor.
Truth and Dare: An Introduction
This part of the book got me a little nervous, if I'm honest. It was here I realized that this book was all about drilling down deep into the most difficult and uncomfortable moments in our lives, getting honest, and holding ourselves accountable to move forward in the after. I wasn't sure I wanted in on all of that. It seemed hard and dirty and messy and, well, uncomfortable. For starters, she dives into the idea that failure is painful, poignantly pointing out that our celebration of redemption often skips over the real hurts that needed redemption in the first place. We're guilty of "gold-plating grit," she writes, as we make failure seem fashionable without acknowledging the inherent desperation, shame, and dismay. Then enters my favorite Brenéism from this book: "the [awesome] deficit." What we need - and lack - is "a critical mass of [awesome people] who are willing to dare, fall, feel their way through tough emotion, and rise again" instead of just glossing over the pain or stuffing it down deep or taking it out on other people. (The bracketed word above isn't what she wrote, but Amazon's review guidelines won't publish a review with the real word. It's bad plus a synonym for donkey.)
Chapter 1: The Physics of Vulnerability
Here, vulnerability is presented as courage rather than weakness. Just as I remember the laws of physics from high school, Brené offers a new twist: if we are brave enough often enough, we will fall. That's what the physics of vulnerability is. Being brave and falling changes us for the better, while the individual path can be isolating and the need to ask for help challenging. As she writes about our being wired for story, I couldn't help but think of two powerful books (both from a Christian perspective, FYI, in case that's not your thing): Nish Weiseth's http://www.amazon.com/Speak-Your-Story-Change-World/dp/0310338174/ and Annie Down's http://www.amazon.com/Lets-All-Be-Brave-Everything/dp/031033795X. The most powerful point from this chapter, though, is that comparative suffering is detrimental: hurt is hurt, and love is needed in response without ration.
Chapter 2: Civilization Stops at the Waterline
The title of this chapter comes from a Hunter S. Thompson quotes. But the waterline is also a call to a powerful story Brené uses to open this chapters, about her husband and a morning swim and a vulnerable conversation for both of them. Then she lays out a story-telling paradigm - borrowed from Pixar - to apply to our lives in how we deal with the conflict parts in our real-life stories. This is where the meat of the book emerges. The rising strong process is (1) the reckoning, as we walk into our story, (2) the rumble, as we own our story, and (3) the revolution as we transform how we live as a result of our story. That's how we can rise strong from our failures.
The next several chapters build on that process...
Chapter 3: Owning Our Stories
This is where Brene challenges us as readers to accept or turn down the invitation to own our stories, rather than minimizing, compartmentalizing, hiding, or editing them. Owning our stories also means we're not defined by them or denying them. They are ours. Then to do so, the three steps begin...
Chapter 4: The Reckoning
As we reckon our stories, Brené pushes readers to feel and recognize our emotions and then get curious enough about them to dig a little deeper. Doing so, she writes, keeps us from offloading our hurts in a variety of unproductive ways: lashing out our hurts, bouncing our hurts away as if they don't matter, numbing our hurts through one or more methods, stockpiling our hurts by keeping everything inside, or getting stuck in our hurt. In this chapter, she also offers amazing strategies for reckoning with emotion, and I know I'll botch them if I even attempt to summarize them.
Chapter 5: The Rumble
In this chapter, we reexamine our stories, diving deeper to mine for truths, including errors in our own first retelling of the failure tale.
Chapter 6: Sewer Rats and Scofflaws
This chapter takes the rumble a bit further with discussions of boundaries, integrity, and generosity.
Chapter 7: The Brave and the Brokenhearted
This chapter as a whole is too meaty to succinctly summarize in this review beyond the subtitle: "rumbling with expectations, disappointment, resentment, heartbreak, connection, grief, forgiveness, compassion, and empathy." On a personal note, my heart jumped and then sank and then fluttered when I got to this chapter. For reasons not relevant to this review, I'm finding myself to be the brave and brokenhearted this week, and it's hard. I saw the title and my heart jumped as I thought, This is the one for me, my current faceplant situation. Then I read the subtitle and my heart sank as I thought, But Brené isn't going to make this easy, because it isn't easy and I'm sure there aren't shortcuts, plus she's been telling me to feel and I don't really want to right now. Finally, my heart fluttered, knowing this was part of my rumbling. I needed to drive forward to rise strong.
Chapter 8: Easy Mark
This chapter continues to expand on the concept of the rumble - which makes sense, because Brené states in chapter 2 that the second day/stage/point is the most important in the process. In her reckoning-rumbling-revolution paradigm, then, it makes sense to dissect rumbling the most. This chapter's subtitle also describes much of the content: "rumbling with need, connection, judgment, self-worth, privilege, and asking for help."
Chapter 9: Composting Failure
In this chapter, Brené dives deeper once more into the rumble, this time with the subtitle: "rumbling with fear, shame, perfectionism, accountability, trust, failure, and regret."
Chapter 10: You Got To Dance With Them That Brung You
Yep, another dive deep chapter on rumbling, this time "rumbling with shame, identity, and nostalgia." This one had a lot of gut punch for me, and Brené - at the risk of looking like a brat - shared a vulnerable story that helped me get vulnerable with myself in return in much needed ways.
Chapter 11: The Revolution
The revolution is what comes after the rumbling. It's the act of rising strong, but it can't be done before all the prior work. Revolution is the act of intentionally choosing authenticity and worthiness as an act of resistance in this world. With this the last chapter, Brené closes it out with a poem by Nayyirah Waheed, ending with "we are rising strong."
This book is a bold call to fall, get up, and try again. May we all rise strong.
The same is true for the "from the research" stories she told. They were long, drawn out, and overly forced to fit into her point. This PAINS ME to say this, because I have loved just about everything else she's done or written. In fact, I'd probably give this two stars if it wasn't her. I appreciate this effort but it really seemed like she didn't have enough material to make this book a helpful, practical reference. If you're looking to really "rise strong" and start again I would recommend Daring Greatly instead.
In her fourth book, Dr. Brown addresses the common experience of falling/failing/not accomplishing a goal. This is practically presented deep research on the adage, “It is not how often you fall - it is how often you get up that matter.” The author extends that thought to include not just getting up, but doing so with strength, clarity, empowered and renewed determination.
According to her “Rising Strong Process” the individual does:
The Reckoning – “walking into our stories.” Recognize emotion, and get curious about our feelings and how they connect with the way we think and behave.
The Rumble – “owning our story.” Getting honest about the stories we are making up about the struggle(s) [“I’m a failure,” “I’m not smart enough,” etc.], challenge the lies and assumptions to find the truth, what is self-protection and what needs to change in order to live wholehearted lives.
The Revolution - “writing a new ending.” This “new story” is based upon the key learning from the rumble and helps us change how we engage with the world and transform how we are living. (p.36)
The above outline is fleshed out in the 270 pages of text. The author gives suggestions for how to engage with the process and allow it to “do its work” in the lives of the individual.
Through the personal stories she uses to illuminate the process, and by the (very) brief attempts I made at using some of the steps, this practice is not easy and it requires the person stepping into it to face some powerful, often scary, realities. One does not have to be brave to do so, but one WILL realize how brave they are after facing those stories/demons/darkness. I would suggest anyone interested in doing this work do so while in connection with a caring professional (i.e. a counselor). Dr. Brown suggests connecting with such an individual who has been trained in “The Daring Way,” a self-discovery model developed by her.
Anyone can read the book and the work proposed within its pages. Many will find benefit and find their world(s) have been affected in a positive way. Some will begin to do this course and will stop for whatever reasons. I would recommend those interested in “changing their story” from defeat to possibility to pick it up and give it a read. The worst thing you can lose is a bit of time. The best you can expect is a changed life.
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