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Raising Abel (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 11. November 2011

5.0 von 5 Sternen 1 Kundenrezension

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Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
Mit "Raising Abel" gelingt Carolyn Nash eine ergreifende und berührende Autobiografie.
Im Alter von 38 Jahren beschließt die Autorin, ein Pflegekind aufzunehmen und später zu adoptieren. Eine unglaubliche Herausforderung, weil der 3-jährige Abel ein von schwerem Missbrauch gekennzeichnetes Kind ist, dessen Entwicklung zu keinem Zeitpunkt normal verläuft.
C. N. schildert lebendig und einfühlsam das Heranwachsen ihres Sohnes bis zum Erwachsenenalter, ihre von unzähligen Problemen, Rückschritten, aber auch wunderbaren Momenten gekennzeichnete Mutter-Sohn Beziehung, getragen von einer unerschütterlichen Liebe und Hoffnung. Es ist gleichzeitig auch eine Geschichte über die Aufarbeitung ihrer eigenen Kindheitsprobleme.
Ein überaus empfehlenswertes Buch, das - einmal begonnen - kaum aus der Hand zu legen ist.
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Amazon.com: 4.7 von 5 Sternen 209 Rezensionen
49 von 49 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Begin the Healing 7. November 2011
Von Leland1234 - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
There are books you read for entertainment, there are books you read because you ought to, and then there are books you read because you want to understand and because you're willing to be transformed. Raising Abel is one of the latter.

Each day television, the newspapers, and the internet bring us stories about children who have been abused, but the news stories are told in an adult voice in less than 60 seconds. What is it really like for the child? And a question nobody asks, what is it like for the foster and adoptive parents who help the traumatized child heal? In this true story, Ms. Nash offers us the unvarnished truth. She shares the pain and the joy of adopting such a child, and the step-by-step lessons that she learns along the way about her son and about herself. Parts of the book read like a Halloween horror story. I wish they were fiction. Parts of the book read like a mother's primer on love. I am glad they are true.

Though I suspect Ms. Nash would deny it, it is a story of courage, of grace, and of hope. Ms. Nash would undoubtedly say, "I was just being a mother." What a world this would be if there were more mothers like Ms. Nash. Thank you for opening your heart and telling this story, and thank you for giving Abel the love he needed to begin the healing. God bless you both.
39 von 39 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
4.0 von 5 Sternen Having trouble finding the words 8. März 2012
Von Lisa Kelly Wilson - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
Here's my #1 question: why aren't there MORE books like this? Every single day, pick up any newspaper or visit any news site, and you're likely to read about how so-and-so was arrested for child abuse or neglect--kids starved, kept in dog kennels, locked in rooms, beaten, raped and sodomized--but I think most people see the arrest of a perpetrator as the end of the story. The bad guys are locked away, and all will be rainbows and unicorns for the abused child/children.

Carolyn Nash shows us, first, that abuse is like a tsunami that keeps pushing itself forward through time, but in telling Abel's story, she does so more effectively than any scholarly or merely educational narrative could hope to. You ever wonder about those kids at that group home across town? Stop wondering.

Nash shows us, secondly, what those who bring abused children into their homes (as fosters or adoptees) deal with on a day-to-day basis, and frankly, I think she may actually have minimized how difficult it can be to love and parent a child whose behaviors can be driven by past abuse. In that regard, I think her account of her life so far with Abel shows her to be a person of great inner strength and conviction, a woman who understands that love isn't defined by blood, and the mother many children wish they could have.

EDITED TO ADD: I'm really curious about the person(s) who went through and marked reviews as "not helpful" but didn't provide any commentary regarding why said reviews weren't helpful. Readers--help us be better reviewers. If you think a review is not helpful, leave a few words telling why. Thanks!
15 von 15 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Exceptional 10. November 2011
Von A. Gardner - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
It is difficult to find the words to express the heartbreaking, yet cathartic nature of this beautiful book. Written with courage and exquisite grace, this true story frequently moved me to tears and laughter. I finished reading this book a scant thirty minutes ago; I am still shaking. I know that the author seems frequently conflicted with self-doubt, but she does herself too little justice. She is warm, and funny, and real, and she makes even the gloomiest passages of our history seem surmountable, so long as we have someone to love, someone who loves us back, and perhaps someone, like her, who will hold onto us and refuse to give up even when we are not at our best. Perhaps that is the greatest strength of this book, even beyond the expressive prose and the way the people portrayed here find their hope and purpose: so many in the world believe that they are not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not whatever enough, and yet, they are often the very people who go out on a limb to help and love others in the ways that they believe others could never be inspired to do so for them. I hope this author and others so afflicted continue to wake up to the realization that if they can love those who believe they are "untouchable" they too can be loved despite their flaws, real or perceived. There are stumbling blocks on the road to recovery, set backs, and even moments when we may wonder if all of our hard work was in vain, or if it will ever come to true fruition, but little by little, the moments of peace become greater, and those painful steps back get shorter and less frequent. Raising a child, troubled or not, can be a complex, and sometimes daunting task, but Ms. Nash leaves us with hope in both humanity and our ability to overcome our worst nightmares. Overall, an exceptional read.
4.0 von 5 Sternen Engrossing and heartwrenching tale 16. September 2015
Von weebiscuit - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
This was an incredible story full of angst, fear, and hope. Carolyn Nash adopts a three year old boy who had been terribly abused by his parents who were IV drug users, drunks, and the most incompetent and horrible parents one could imagine. The abuse they heaped upon this poor child are almost beyond the ken of understanding, except that it's been shown over and over again that people like this certainly DO exist and do terrible things to their children.

There were a few things I didn't quite "buy" in this book. One of them was the constant references by the three-year-old child about the abuse he received. I am not a child psychologist so my opinion really doesn't hold a lot of water, but it almost seemed to me that a child that young would not be quite capable of expressing these things. However, as the author stated, a lot of the dialogue coming out of Abel was not only what she experienced, but also taken from police reports, so I have to assume it's most likely true.

Another thing I couldn't understand was how this woman, in the face of this boy utterly destroying the windows in her vehicle and then destroying valuable articles in her home, in addition to some bad physical abuse she endured at his hands when he was a teenager, could keep on dealing with him and not turning him over to authorities for good. No, I don't understand it, but that's because I'm judging it by what I would do, and I simply would never have had the fortitude to continue in that relationship. So while I didn't understand it, I still give kudos to Nash for sticking with it.

Like a few others whose comments I read, I simply can't understand how she could adopt an infant with such a malevolent, violent, and psychologically disturbed young man in her home. But, who am I to judge? Nash may simply have a much larger capacity for love and tolerance than I do.

The part of the book that really irritated me, however, was the on-going year after year after year reports about her visits with her analyst (psychologist??), Amelia. The sessions were extremely long and boring, and the thing that kept going through my mind was, "Wow... Amelia has it pretty good. She gives no advice, not much help, and really doesn't say anything but she's probably charging about $150 an hour." Remind me that if I ever have a breakdown or need direction to NEVER go to a therapist. I think I'd get more stimulation and mental help talking to my neighbor.

I liked the way the book was written. I think Nash has definite talent as a writer. She has a sharp wit and is also humorous, in a self-deprecating or wry way, at times. I will confess that I was engrossed in the story (except when it centered around sessions with Amelia), and couldn't wait to get back to my reading. Nash comes off as a very likeable person. In a way, I kept wishing she were my neighbor. I think I would completely enjoy her company!

I would also like to see a follow-up to Abel's story. At this book ends, he's over 18 and has had his first "true" encounter with a girl. Even though it's not overtly sexual, he does kiss her. The book ends on a positive note, but after reading about all the horrible things Abel did throughout his high school years, one can't help but wonder if this is truly going to be a success story or if the abuse and mental distress his parents piled on him during his first three years will trump all the good work Nash did as his adoptive mother.

So, Miss Nash... a follow up! Please! And congratulations on a job well-done!
8 von 8 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen All I can say is WOW! What a powerful story! 14. November 2011
Von Peggy Olson - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
As a single adoptive parent of 4 children with special needs for many years (I did marry a little over a year ago), I could relate to this story from the start. I couldn't put it down (and finished it in less than 24 hours because I was so wrapped up in it). I went through, and am currently experiencing so many of the situations that are described in the book, and have always felt alone in this journey. Carolyn Nash has written an excellent story of the trauma of child abuse, both her's and Abel's, and has given me new insight with parenting my own children. When Abel left for his first hospital stay, I cried. The emotions that are portrayed in the book are real...today I find out about residential treatment for one of my children :'( Thank you, Carolyn, for letting me know I'm not alone in this journey and giving me hope.
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