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NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION: A LANGUAGE OF COMPASSION

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Format: Taschenbuch
This is the easiest to follow 'how to' book that I've read.
I must say that the first time I composed a total NVC sentence in response to something my daughter had done, I was thrilled with the silence with which she responded. It was like she totally heard what I said.
The premises from which Rosenburg starts are that compassion is a basic human state and that the specific process we use in communicating can make all the difference in how our message is received. Rosenberg says, " When we use NVC in our interactions--with ourselves, with an other person, or in a group--we become grounded in our natural state of compassion. NVC is an approach that can be effectively applied at all levels of communication and in diverse situations from self-talk to international politics.
Rosenberg states that there is nothing new in the NVC process; that it is to remind us about what we already know about relating to each other and to show us how to live in a way that concretely manifests this knowledge. "Through its emphasis on deep listening--to ourselves as well as others--NVC fosters respect, attentiveness, and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart."
The NVC model for communications includes: observing, without judgement, actions that effect our well-being, stating our feelings as we observe the action, saying what needs, values, desires are connected to the feelings, and requesting the concrete actions we would like.
For most of us it is difficult to make observations of people and their behavior that is free of judgement, criticism or analysis. When we include evaluation in observations people often hear us as criticizing them.
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Von Ein Kunde am 9. Juni 2000
Format: Taschenbuch
I had read exactly one chapter of this book when a situation came up at work. My boss and I met to discuss the performance of a new employee. It quickly became obvious to me that both of us had some strong feelings of anger AND pity for the person that were clouding our judgment. I suggested that we follow the first step of the NVC model and simply write down our observations without any interpretation or judgment. This helped us clarify our thinking and come up with a plan for dealing with the person.
I know this isn't exactly what he was talking about, but if this technique can help me sort out my own feelings and interpretations from what is actually happening and get this kind of clarity for making a decision, then it's worth it!
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Format: Taschenbuch
As a class teacher in a Waldorf elementary school, I relate with many children, parents, and colleagues on a daily basis. The process of non-violent communication presented in this book is transforming every one of these relationships. Living the process enables me to connect more deeply with the living present reality in each child, and children love and respond to the experience of that deep recognition. Parents remark at my increased openness and accessibility; whatever feelings or thoughts a parent might express, even what I might have formerly interpreted as anger, criticism or fault-finding, I am learning how to stay with process, stay with what is alive in them, and seek to know what unmet needs might be underlying those feelings or thoughts. Parents remark that they feel deeply listened to and heard. Solutions come more easily and naturally once our shared human needs are acknowledged. Conflicts and misunderstandings with colleagues now become opportunities to create deeper connections as together we translate our positions and strategies into the universally human needs underlying the feelings. Anger, depression, shame and guilt become friends, willing to help me wake to some vital need or longing within me that is not being met in some situation. Those voices we all have in our heads scolding us for this and blaming us for that--they too can be heard for the living human needs they represent.
Marshall has developed a new language, a language of the heart, that creates the possibility for all of these changes. Read the book! Seek out a trainer
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Format: Taschenbuch
The following review appeared in CLEVELAND FREE TIMES, March 10-16,1999
ON THE FRONT LINE
Meet Marshall Rosenberg, quiet revolutionary
by DIAN KILLIAN
Based on cover endorsements from John Gray and Jack Canfield (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and Chicken Soup for the Soul), Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion sounds like another New Age, self-help book. Yet like Noam Chomsky -- who deconstructed language and then moved on to media and politics -- Rosenberg's work is intrinsically radical. Beginning by addressing language, it subverts our whole status-quo system of power: between children and adults, the sane and the psychotic, and criminal and the law.
Rosenberg starts with a question: "What happens to disconnect us ... leading us to behave violently and exploitively?" In answering, he gives his own story -- from surviving race riots and anti-semitism in Detroit to his training as a clinical psychologist. Ultimately, like the philosopher Michel Foucault, he explores the relationship between "power and knowledge" -- the way discourse is complicit in oppression. Cracking the code, he gives a pragmatic method of identifying feelings, values and needs, illustrating the judgmental language and the power relationships dominating every level of our society.
Not just theoretical, Rosenberg shows NVC at work -- often dramatically -- from dealing with racists in America to surviving attacks in Palestine simply for being an American. Well-written and laid out, with cartoon illustrations, transcripts from actual dialogues and a summary of main points in the margins, Nonviolent Communication is accessible and easy to read -- perhaps deceptively so.
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