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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 3. April 2012

3.3 von 5 Sternen 196 Kundenrezensionen

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Taschenbuch, 3. April 2012
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Produktbeschreibungen

Amazon.de

A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine -- Dieser Text bezieht sich auf eine andere Ausgabe: Taschenbuch.

Pressestimmen

“Gray offers a Berlitz of the heart, a translation of that foreign language your spouse is speaking. And hearing.” (USA Today)

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Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
The entire contents of John Gray's books repeat the same tired old anecdotes and dogmas. In his view, men are mute, dumb, inarticulate cave-men who can only comprehend mindless action-activities as a form of bonding, i.e., sports, butting heads, hanging out with 'buddies' over a beer, etc. In the bedroom, they are rapacious savages-- demanding and poor at satisfying their partner's needs. Men put out love in relationships only to get sex. Women, in his view, are on the other hand moronic complainers, seeking a warm body to shelter them. Women put out sex in relationships only to get platonic love and protection. Women, in his view, far from being intellectual, want to pour out their feelings endlessly; we just want to talk, not act, according to Gray's quackery. The solution, he holds, that will enable these two inadequate and polarized psychopaths to survive in a marriage, is MUTUAL SELF-SACRIFICE. Men, be patient if she is a frigid, passive complainer who leans on your protection in return for love. That is simply the nature of women. Women, tolerate his ape-ish habits, patiently sitting through a football game, or washing dishes while he retreats mutely into his anti-social "cave." As you can see, John Gray's... ideas do not represent serious phychology or serious research. His ideas do not promote mental health and self-improvement, only mistaken characatures of men and women. His feel-good psychology, which evades personality problems and psychotic behaviors, under the guise that they are merely "masculinity" or "femininitiy" is pathetic and dumbed-down. Don't buy his books. Instead, check out Dr. Ellen Kenner, Dr. Nathaniel Branden, or Dr. Edith Packer. They offer solutions, not self-sacrifice.
His book should be renamed "Psychopathic Women Are From Venus and Inadequate, Stupid Men Are from Mars." Don't buy the book if you have an above-average I.Q. or an effective, normal personality.
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Kurz vorweg, Mr. Gray hat mit seinen Beispielen für Mißverständnisse zwischen den Geschlechtern Recht. Die Ursachen hierfür beschreibt er nicht, diese sind aber in ziemlich jedem Buch über Kommunikation beschrieben (Ebenen der Kommunikation usw...). Seine Lösungen sind leider dermaßen klischeehaft, daß ich keine Frau wollte, die einen in diesem Buch beschriebenen Mann will... Die Frau wartet zu Hause und kocht, wärend der Mann Ihr die Wünsche von den Augen abliest. Sie ist dafür lieb und gibt ihm die Anerkennung, die er braucht. Dies wird dem Leser in so vielen Wiederholungen eingebläut, daß er entweder verzweifelt oder es glaubt. Nach dem Kauf der CDs bin ich nun vollends ernüchtert. Der Sprecher ist langweilig und einschläfernd; die Konzentration fällt schwer. Die Beispiel-dialoge sind so 'künstlich', daß sie früher oder später von der Commedy Szene durch den Kakao gezogen werden. Fazit: ein mäßiges Buch, das zudem noch schlecht vertont ist. Wenn überhaupt, dann als Buch.
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Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
If you and your spouse aren't getting along before reading the book, look out - the sparks may just start flying faster after reading it! It is filled with bad advice. As a woman, I found it insulting that my husband just has to pretend that he is listening. Greys basic advice to men - make her believe she is being heard - it doesn't matter if you are thinking about the football game etc., just nod, grunt and say uh-huh - that's all she requires. Even if you make the effort to hear (I won't even mention the word listen) it doesn't matter, she's just babbling on and on anyway. And, that's all the communication the relationship requires, because as a male you don't really have any thoughts or feelings to share yourself. If you can even talk. Hello - Real communication comes from the mutual desire of both parties to understand each other- which requires active, HONEST listening and verbalizing by both parties. Secondly, he believes that all men must retreat into their caves and must NOT be disturbed - especially by a bimbo - or look out the caveman might just come out with his club. He is very unfair in dealing with both genders' capacity to communicate with each other. I think the information in this book has the potential of making a strained relationship worse. We stopped reading it. We were beginning to argue about the things in the book - thinking the other person was possibly doing the stereotyped activity - i.e going to the cave - not wanting to be disturbed, not listening, etc., when it wasn't the case at all. It literally provided more argumentative material for our "discussions". Obviously, I don't recommend this book. We have done much better without it.
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Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
This author is trying to pass some of his ungrounded, unscientific, unproven, PERSONAL FEELINGS as FACTS in his "Mars vs. Venus" series. I am lucky to have read many academic journals and books on gender studies to realize this author is laying FALSE claims ! Readers, don't get CHEATED!
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Since I do not know what happened to my last review, I will attempt once again...this book is not for everyone. It is for the average person. That means you may fall outside the "norm" and not be the typical male or female.
But if we talk about averages, men (typically) are the hunter gathers, that is why we (women) dont understand when men don't feel like talking. (Hey you dont gab when trying to take down a wildebeast! )And women are the chatty ones, what else would you do sitting at the bank of the river, washing out loin cloths or stirring wildebeast bones in a pot over a fire? This book goes right back to those good old days,(using today's work or home life as the example).... when that was essentially what the average male and female did on a daily basis. If you feel you or your loved one doesnt fall in that range, no problem....but that is the average norm! And as we all know, some of us do not fall in the norm all of the time..But hey, its a fun read and it will disturb you on how accurate it discribes "most" men and women and the relationships they have. I say disturb, because that is what this book tends to do, it really is eye opening.
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