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A Love That Multiplies: An Up-Close View of How They Make It Work (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 6. März 2012

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Wird oft zusammen gekauft

  • A Love That Multiplies: An Up-Close View of How They Make It Work
  • +
  • The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families--How they Do It
  • +
  • Growing Up Duggar
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Über den Autor und weitere Mitwirkende

Michelle Duggar has been married for more than twenty years to her husband, Jim Bob, and they are blessed with nineteen children. The Duggars have the #1 program on TLC/Discovery Health/TLC documentaries and have appeared on national television shows, such as the Today show, Good Morning America, The View, Inside Edition, Jimmy Kimmel Live, and others.

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar married in 1984. Some time after the birth of their first child, they prayed that God would give them a love for children like his love for children and that he would bless them with as many children as he saw fit in his timing. Soon after, Michelle became pregnant with twins! The Duggars currently have ten boys and nine girls, and all their names begin with “J”—Joshua, Jana and John-David (twins), Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah and Jeremiah (twins), Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace, and Josie.

The Duggars are the #1 program on TLC/ Discovery Health / TLC documentaries and have appeared multiple times on national TV shows, such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, The View, Inside Edition, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Fox News Network, CNN, MSNBC, and others. Foreign television appearances include Italian Public Television, KBS (Korean Broadcasting System), and Discovery Home & Health (UK & Australia). They have been featured in magazine and newspaper articles in China, India, New Zealand, Australia, France, and Germany. As a family project, the Duggars built a seven-thousand-square-foot home. Both Jim Bob and Michelle are licensed real estate agents and conduct the Jim Sammon’s Financial Freedom Seminar in their community. They purpose to live completely debt-free—postponing  purchases until they have the cash. Jim Bob served in the Arkansas House of Representatives from 1999 to 2003 and was a candidate for the U.S. Senate in 2002.

Leseprobe. Abdruck erfolgt mit freundlicher Genehmigung der Rechteinhaber. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

A Love that Multiplies

1


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Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

—Psalm 127:2

We believe that children are a blessing from God, and twenty-two years ago, in the fifth year of our marriage, we decided to let Him decide how big our family would be. By early 2009, He had given us eight daughters and ten sons—eighteen wonderful children—and an amazing life filled with enduring love, incredible joy, and fun-filled adventure. We were amazed at how God had entrusted us with so many blessings.

Sure, there were challenges along the way. We had endured some very stressful times in our marriage, when feeble income and overwhelming work and responsibilities had threatened to tear apart our dreams for our family. And we had suffered hard losses, including the death of Michelle’s mother. But with faith and prayer we had survived all those difficult times, and as 2009 began, we felt confident that nothing could ever shake our relationship with God or with each other.

We never dreamed that by the time 2009 ended, we would find ourselves living in a whirlwind of fear, anxiety, and turmoil. Now, a year after the overwhelming challenge that turned our lives upside down, we’re writing this book to share what we’ve learned from the experience and also to share how our faith in God and the Bible principles we live by have sustained and guided us through a traumatic season of our lives, one that may not be over yet.

This is the story of how we survived the upheaval that swept through our family—and how we manage our family in everyday life. Because of the audience that watches our large family move through daily life on the TLC reality series 19 Kids and Counting, we have had many people express interest in our faith, principles, and experiences. We hope this book answers some of the many questions we receive in hundreds of e-mails and letters every day from people telling us they watch our show or they’ve read our previous book, The Duggars: 20 and Counting (a number based on our then eighteen children and ourselves). We are very conservative Christians, and many of the writers introduce themselves by telling us how different they are from us: “I’m Jewish...” “I’m Muslim...” “I’m an atheist...” “I’m a flaming liberal...”

Sometimes they go on to say that they don’t share any of our beliefs and they think our parenting practices are outdated, narrow-minded, misguided, ridiculous, and a host of other adjectives, some of them too harsh to print here.

And yet the majority of the letters—even from those whose beliefs are different from ours—also tell us that they like the end product of what we do and believe: a close-knit, love-filled family bustling with well-behaved, respectful, fun-loving, adventurous, and smart children who cherish their parents and siblings and show courtesy and kindness to those they meet.

One of the most frequent comments was that we’d never experienced “real life,” with all its hardships, challenges, setbacks, and pain. The truth was, we’d been through plenty of hard experiences, but none as difficult as those we’ve experienced in the last two years. In this book we hope to communicate how the faith and principles that guided us through all the good times have kept us strong through the bad times too. Our hope is that through our story you’ll find ideas for enriching your own family’s life together, building love, joy, wisdom, and strength that will see you through good times and bad.

We’re not parenting experts. We don’t have all the answers; we’re still learning every day. These are just the guidelines we follow, the practices that work for us. Since we’re unable to respond to the hundreds of daily inquiries that come to us, we hope this book will provide answers and insights that will not only answer your questions about the Duggars but will also inspire you to look for ways to become the best possible parent and role model to your own children.

DIFFERENT NOW

As we write, our family’s life seems to have returned to something like normal after experiencing events that turned our world upside down. But we are different people now than we were when 2009 began. We’ve experienced firsthand how quickly and cataclysmically everything can change, and now we value even more the beliefs and principles that sustained us through our ordeal—not only in matters of faith and of the heart but also of the home.

In the chapters to come we’ll share how our parenting methods worked, failed, or evolved under duress. In reading about our experiences, perhaps you’ll find ideas for developing your own household systems for managing things like schedules and organization. As you learn about our child-rearing practices, maybe you’ll gain insights about how to shape your own children’s hearts and minds lovingly and effectively.

Our primary goal in this book is to encourage you to recognize the God-given blessings in your own life and help you find ways to fill your family with everyday joy as well as lay a foundation of faith that will sustain you through difficult times. In short, we want to help you find ways to infuse your family with faith, fun, and hope for a bright future.

JIM BOB’S DAD MOVES IN

During our nearly twenty-seven years of marriage, God has given us constant joy through our big, expanding family; but to keep life interesting, He’s also sent plenty of challenges our way. For example, in our first book, we described how we coped with having five children under age five when we lived in a nine-hundred-square-foot home that was also the sales office for our used-car business.

Now we live in a seven-thousand-square-foot home, but we still live frugally, and we still encounter challenges, as well as joy, on a daily basis. We finished our first book in October 2008, when our joy about the marriage of our firstborn child, Josh, to the delightful Anna Keller was tempered by the sober awareness that my (Jim Bob’s) dad, J. L. Duggar, had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, an advancing brain tumor.

When we built our home in northwest Arkansas (a nearly four-year family project completed in 2006), we intentionally included a handicap-accessible living area for family members who might need our assistance as they coped with health issues. Shortly after we moved into the house, that guest area had been put to good use by Michelle’s dad when he lived with us following a terrible car crash with a drug-impaired driver. He stayed a year and then moved back home to Ohio to live with Michelle’s siblings, leaving the guest area ready for the next time it was needed.

A few months later, my dad was diagnosed with a medullo-blastoma—a brain tumor. This stage of our lives began one day when Dad felt a little knot on the back of his head. He thought at first it was a bug bite, but when the “bite” got bigger instead of going away, he went to a dermatologist, who sent him to another specialist, who sent him to another specialist, until finally the tumor was identified. The doctor who diagnosed the problem told us he’d never seen anyone survive past about age fifty with that kind of tumor. Dad was seventy-one when he was diagnosed.

His doctors said the tumor had started in his brain and had eaten through his skull to protrude out the back of his head, causing the bump. One surgery was...


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Do you watch the show? I am going to let you in on a few things here in this post: for one, I do. Usually I get to catch it on the DVR so I skip commercials. My wife and I do not have nearly the number of kids they do; we just have eight, but we share many similarities and I found for once that reading non-fiction is not a chore. Do I agree with everything in this book? No, it isn't made to be that way. My wife read it also and I think the best thing to come from reading this book is the dialogue my wife and I shared afterwards. I will agree, there are many similarities in our families (other than the fact we have large families). The interactions between the kids always hits home for us; it seems kids will be kids. The Duggars basically lay themselves and their beliefs out there for you; I for one admire that. They even say in the book, what they believe and how they live is not for everyone, but this is how and why they do it. Their faith driven approach is inspirational.
Truthful, straight up and to the point. I for one respect that type of honesty because they presented things in a manner that was not confrontational, disrespectful or condescending. I basically read this book with the intent and desire to get a look into what their motivations and insights were as parents. What drives them, how they maintain such a nice family atmosphere, and where all the love comes from. I got my answer in spades and that made the read for me. Do I agree with all their viewpoints? No, I don't think most would, but that is the thing, they don't mind; this is who they are. This was a true investment of time in my marriage, my family and my life and I feel better for having taken the time to give this book a try.
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Auch das erste Buch von und über die XXXL- Familie mit den 19 Kindern - "20 and counting" habe ich mit Interesse gelesen.Wie sie bereits die Kleinkinder dressieren auf Wohlverhalten, mit frenetischem Lobklatschen der ganzen Familie, sobald der Töpfchengang klappt usw. ist dort anschaulich beschrieben. Man muss aber bedenken , dass diese USA - Familie einen strengen altchristlichen Hintergrund hat, denn nur damit kann das alles so laufen, dass keiner aus dem wohlwollenden Gruppenzwang ausbricht.
Gehorsam gegenüber den Eltern - sofort und bedingungslos - wird motiviert durch das bedingungslose Gehorchen Gott gegenüber.
Im zweiten Band gibt es nur wenige Wiederholungen, allerdings wird der Inhalt des Buches nicht ganz dem Untertitel - "How they make it" - gerecht, denn ein Großteil des Buches beschreibt ausführlich die Widrigkeiten, mit denen die Familie zu kämpfen hat, z:B. angesichts der extremen Frühgeburt des jüngsten Babies.
Was ich äußerst wertvoll fand, waren z.B. die Listen, die die älteren Kinder im Hinblick auf erwünschte Eigenschaften eines späteren Ehepartners erstellen müssen sowie die im Anhang genannten zahlreichen Internetadressen und Buchtitel, die - englischsprachigen - Ratsuchern behilflich sein könnten bei der Bewältigung des täglichen Lebens.
Auch wer nicht so ein extremer Christ ist, wird viele überlegenswerte Ideen finden, wie man einen - auch kleineren ! Haushalt besser organisieren, die eigenen Kinder leichter erziehen und nicht zuletzt mit dem Ehepartner besser klarkommen kann.Wenn man das Ganze mit einem leichten Lächeln liest, so ist das Buch unbedingt als empfehlenswert einzustufen.
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Michelle and Jim Bob share tips and ideas and they tell their stories in an honest and charming way.

The book is something to learn from but also fun to read. Its easy to relate to their life even if they are so special. Plus there are some nice recipes in it. Its entertaining and educating, its well written and made with love.
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Truly inspiring Book. It changed my view concerning having more than two children. It also encouraged me to press on to pursue Gods will for my and my families lives.
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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0xa71ede84) von 5 Sternen 341 Rezensionen
11 von 12 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x96c2fb88) von 5 Sternen Interesting story, but presented in a choppy way 29. August 2012
Von Rachel Taylor - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
I am not sure why I picked up A Love That Multiplies by Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar. Up until Tuesday, when I caught a 19 Kids and Counting marathon on TLC, I've never watched the show before, nor read their previous books. But their philosophies on children and child-rearing and their faith intrigued me, so I picked this book up.

The book is not so much a memoir, as an up-close, conversational look at the Duggar family's daily life, and the events surrounding young Josie's birth. Topics range from managing the home and packing for trips, to homeschooling such a large group, to taking care of bad behavior from young ones at the first incident. Interspersed between each section and story is a favorite recipe, a list of snacks, or general home management tips.

They talk a lot about their faith, which is a very central part of their lives, and I can appreciate the way that it is really shaped their decisions as a family. Michelle and Jim Bob do not just say that children are a gift from the Lord, they live their lives as a testament to that as they arrange their days to teach their children and to spend time with them. Based on this book, it would appear that although the Duggar children may have some pretty strict rules on internet usage, and they may not own the latest and greatest gadgets, the Duggar children develop practical life skills and conflict resolutions skills from incredibly early age, making them more mature than their peers.

The writing was okay, more conversational in nature which doesn't always translate well to the page. There was also the assumption that the reader had both watched 19 Kids and Counting or read their previous book, as they made many references to the show, or referred to things they had shared in their previous book. While I can appreciate that they didn't want to bore readers with repeated information, it tended to make things feel choppy and incomplete.

Overall, I liked the book, and I really appreciate the Duggar family and their commitment to their faith. I would recommend the book to young parents, or to those looking to a non-traditional story of those choosing to live out their faith. I give A Love That Multiplies three stars.
39 von 50 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x96a7f5e8) von 5 Sternen If you love the Duggars, you'll love this book! 14. Juni 2011
Von Allison Wonderland - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
This book provides deeper, more emotional insight into the Duggar family than their first book, which provided more information about their daily lives. What I liked best about this book was that Michelle and Jim Bob let their opinions be known a little more openly; there was less sugarcoating when it came to religiously significant topics. For example, they gave a name of a website and said its contents prove why "evolution is impossible." While I disagree with the statement, I applaud Michelle and Jim Bob for their brevity and sincerity. There were other instances of that throughout the book and it made for an interesting read. I love the Duggars and their books because it is a breath of fresh air to learn about a family focused on simply being nice to each other. An enjoyable and uplifting read!
66 von 87 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x96a7f528) von 5 Sternen Not Much New Information 8. Juni 2011
Von Lisa - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
I have to admit, I watch the Duggars' TV show. So I was pretty interested to read this book. I tend to find the Duggars' religious beliefs a bit extreme, and there is certainly a lot of preaching in this book. It does make sense though, as their religion is their whole life. The first section of this book covers Michelle's pre-eclampsia and Josie's emergency delivery. There's not really anything new there if you have seen their TV show.

The rest of the book covers their philosophies for parenting and life in general. These are heavily influenced by Bill Gothard and his IBLP. Their beliefs fall under what I would label as (in the words of my nephew) "super mega extreme" conservatism. Once again, there is very little in here that you don't already know if you watch their TV show. A few interesting notes for me was that Michelle and Jim Bob both readily admit that they do get upset and have (in the past anyway) even raised their voices. Shocking, I know. However, it does make them seem a little more human. Perhaps the most compelling thing in the book is Michelle describing what it was like to learn her father was dying while Josie was also fighting for her life. This part was actually a very beautiful example of how her life and beliefs helped to bolster her in a very low point of her life.

There is some useful advice. For example, Michelle discusses taking care of needs and/or bad behavior when it first appears instead of letting it go and potentially become a bigger problem. However, for every useful idea, there are several things that appear not as good to me. Blanket training was a concept I took issue with. I have a 17 month old, and I find it vastly unrealistic to think that he should be able to sit on a blanket and not move for an hour or so. No way am I going to torture both of us by trying this. There's also a strange bit where they talk about training their children (even very small ones) that they have to look everyone directly in the eye, lest they come across as disrespectful. What if the child is naturally shy? Or going through a clingy stage? It seems odd to me.

The writing was just OK. It's written in the first person, but the narrator switches between Michelle and Jim Bob a lot. It got kind of annoying to find out who was talking half-way through the section. I wish that had flowed a bit better. There were also some things that seemed thrown in to quiet critics. For example, there were several recipes in the book, and almost all of them included lots of fresh veggies and fruits. Maybe that is how they really do eat, but I know they have gotten some criticism for how their diet appears on the show. They also have a section about how their daughters would be allowed to live out there dreams and even go to college (even though Bill Gothard seems anti anything that takes women out of the house and authority of a male). Whether this is true or not remains to be seen.

Overall, this book is pretty good. If you watch their show, there is not much new to be gleaned from this book (unless you want to memorize Duggar approved Bible verses). It is a fairly quick read. Be prepared to get products (especially those from places like IBLP and Vision Forum) heavily endorsed. There is quite a bit of that in the book. If you really love the Duggars, then you will probably enjoy this book. Otherwise, most the book will probably leave you shaking your head.

Galley provided by publisher for review.
36 von 47 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x96a857bc) von 5 Sternen Loved this book! 6. Juni 2011
Von Rose - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe Verifizierter Kauf
I thought this was a great book. I have been watching the Duggars on TV since their first show, and have always been impressed and encouraged by this family. This book explains a lot of how and why they do the things they do. Thank you, Jim Bob & Michelle for taking the time to write this book.
48 von 64 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x96a85498) von 5 Sternen Not enough new material 26. Juni 2011
Von PriceTheory - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
I enjoyed the Duggars' first book and think there are many positive things about their family. While some of their beliefs are controversial, it's good for people to be able to learn about different lifestyles and ideas, including ones that are considered unusual or extreme. So I was looking forward to reading this second book by the Duggars.

I was disappointed to find that many of the topics were already discussed in the first book. Nothing is repeated word for word, but there aren't many new insights either. Several chapters simply recount events that have appeared on the show, again presenting very little that viewers don't already know about the Duggars' lives.

Although there's a lot of overlap between this book and the first, this one is less enjoyable for a number of reasons. For one thing, the tone is a bit defensive--sometimes laughably so. As another reviewer pointed out, the healthy recipes in A Love That Multiplies seem like a response to the criticism the Duggars have received about high-fat meals. But that's not all. The first book included a picture of the boys eating donuts; the exact same picture is reprinted in this book, with a new caption that says they usually snack on fruits and vegetables and enjoy donuts only "occasionally". The first book included a story about Michelle learning to discipline the children in a calm and patient way; this book features the same story, with the added detail that the kids were eating pineapple for a snack when the incident occurred. There's even a little sidebar that warns parents to be careful that the food found in their kitchens is healthy enough. I understand that there are a lot of accusations made against the Duggars and the family is justified in responding, but A Love That Multiplies goes overboard in answering everything, and it detracts from the experience of reading the book.

The tone is a bit more preachy than in the first. There are a lot more Bible verses, lots of references to people "sharing hearts," and some not-very-good inspirational poetry. There are pages of warnings and instructions to parents, including sections about seemingly obvious relationship skills that are fairly boring. The Duggars start off the book by stating that they're not perfect, but unlike in the first book, we don't see many instances of them struggling or learning from mistakes. Instead, they react with prayer and a positive attitude to just about every challenge that comes along. This made them harder to relate to in A Love That Multiplies.

The book would have been better if it had included more information about the individual children's interests and goals. On the show, viewers watch the children pursue projects and listen to interviews with one or two of them at a time. In A Love That Multiplies, the children are all lumped together and the reader learns little about them as individuals. Well, we do learn some things about them. There's a comment about the timing of the older girls' menstrual cycles, and there's a story about Jinger's diary being stolen by an unscrupulous fan. But I'm not interested in their bodily functions or times when the kids were victims. I want to learn about times when the kids took the initiative and accomplished things. There's very little of that in this book, other than a short section on Josh's car lot and some vague references to midwifery training for the girls.

There are also a few sections that should have been completely removed. In particular, some things in the section about sex were really creepy. It presents a story Jim Bob tells that's supposed to emphasize the importance of purity. The story compares someone whose purity has been "stolen" to a beat-up bicycle that doesn't make a good present. I found the implication that people who have lost their virginity are damaged goods to be very offensive. That section also states that Jim Bob regularly checks up on the boys to ask if they're having problems with impure thoughts. I cringed when I read that part. Perhaps some explanation would have made this section more palatable, but I don't think it had to be there at all given that the Duggars have already widely publicized their views on sex and morality.

Thus, I'd recommend that people who want to learn more about the Duggars stick with the first book or just watch the show.
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