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How To Think More About Sex (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 10. Mai 2012

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“Many books of pop psychology or pop philosophy try to contend straightforwardly with what ails our age; Alain de Botton's wonderful How to Think More About Sex comes to mind, an example of an intelligent person helpfully untying some knots that bind us.” ―Sheila Heti, The New York Times Book Review

How to Think More About Sex is a meditation on how comprehensively disruptive our urges can be...an honest book that's on the prowl for honest insight....Self-Help Books for the Rest of Us.” ―The New York Times

“It's like Cosmo meets Plato--finally!” ―Salon

“Even if our sexual partners don't excite us, this writer's piquant prose will.” ―More

“De Botton's concept breathes ambition far beyond the chicken-soup-of-the-month formula.” ―The News & Observer

“De Botton is never prescriptive, and the intellectual rigor of his investigation prevents this book from settling into a self-help reference guide.” ―Publishers Weekly

“By encouraging readers to understand their desires and manifestations of sexuality in new and more reflective ways, de Botton's addition to the School of Life series offers a tantalizing discourse on this endlessly fascinating, and eternally misunderstood, subject.” ―Booklist

“[de Botton] offers a collection of essays that, taken as a whole, serve to pull sexuality into a philosophical consideration of our drives and desires, to illuminate how we can make sense of the urges that drive us senseless....A well-rounded examination of the ways we can marry intelligent thought and physical pleasure.” ―Kirkus Reviews

“In an age of moral and practical confusions, the self-help book is crying out to be redesigned and rehabilitated. The School of Life announces a rebirth with a series that examines the great issues of life, including money, sanity, work, technology, and the desire to alter the world for the better.” ―Alain de Botton, The School of Life Series Editor

“The School of Life offers radical ways to help us raid the treasure trove of human knowledge.” ―The Independent on Sunday (London)


Think more about sex by thinking about it in a different way

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Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
Schon der Titel ist witzig, das Buch ist klug dazu. Alain de Botton schreibt unter anderem über die Gefahren der Online-Pornografie,ohne zu moralisieren.
Es geht um den Zwiespalt eines Ehepartners (soll ich den Seitensprung begehen?) und die im Grunde verlogene Moral der modernen Institution Ehe, die glaubt, zwei Menschen könnten einander für den Rest ihres Lebens genügen.
"A spouse who gets angry at having been betrayed is evading a basic, tragic truth: that no one can be everything to another person. Rather than accept this horrific thought with dignified grace and melancholy, 'betrayed' spouses are often encouraged to accuse their 'betrayers' of being morally in the wrong for finding fault with them. However, the real fault in the situation lies in the ethos of modern marriage, with its insane ambitions and its insistence that one person can plausibly hope to embody the eternal sexual and emotional solution to another's every need." (S. 118)
"It is impossible to sleep with someone outside of marriage and not spoil the things we care about inside it - just as it is impossible to remain faithful in a marriage and not miss out on some of life's greatest and most important sensory pleasures along the way." (S. 123)
Und eigentlich geht es nicht nur um SEX (der halt auf dem Titel gut kommt), sondern um Partnerschaften, die Liebe und die Prioritäten im Leben an sich: "I we focus all our energies on our children, they will eventually abandon us to persue their own lives, leaving us wretched and lonely. But if we ignore our children in favour of our own romantic pursuits as a couple, we will scar them and earn their unending resentment.
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As in other fields of interest, the first take on the problem is to establish words and concepts that enables us to separate the interesting parts from the boring. The title "How to think more about sex" might give the idea that we need to spend more time thinking about sex. That is hardly needed. Rather, the book is about new ways to think about sex. You could say that de Botton writes like Shakespeare: Demonstrates what it is to be human, without trying to tell you what to do about it.

A modern book about sex can not refrain from discussing adultery. Also here, de Botton explains why it is so tempting while so revolting if your find that your partner has done so.

I highly recommend this little book. You will not learn anything about sex but, as with Shakespeare, you will learn a lot about yourself. Can you ask for more?
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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf Amazon.com (beta) (Kann Kundenrezensionen aus dem "Early Reviewer Rewards"-Programm beinhalten)

Amazon.com: 4.0 von 5 Sternen 78 Rezensionen
97 von 99 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
4.0 von 5 Sternen Thinking about sex, with the emphasis on thinking 24. Dezember 2012
Von Paul Mastin - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
Alain de Botton is a writer who, at least for me, defies easy description. Although he has written novels, I think of him more as an essayist or public thinker. He might be described as a philosopher, but he doesn't seem to fit the traditional category of philosophy. Suffice it to say that his writing is a pleasure to read, thoughtful and though-provoking, timeless and relevant.

His recent book, How to Think More About Sex, places the emphasis on think much more than on sex, as you might expect from a writer of his caliber. This is not a book of titillation, nor is it a sex manual, or a biological study. De Botton takes this usually unmentionable subject and presents reflections that build appreciation for our relationships.

The book is filled with passages that made me smile and think, that's true, but I never thought of it like that before. For instance, the attractive/revolting nature of the act itself. "At the precise juncture where disgust could be at its height, we find only welcome and permission. The privileged nature of the union between two people is sealed by an act that, with someone else, would have horrified them both." He continues, "Lovemaking purifies us by engaging the most apparently polluted sides of ourselves in the procedures and thereby anointing them as newly worthy. This is never more true than when we press our faces, the most public and respectable aspects of ourselves, eagerly against our lovers' most private and 'contaminated' parts . . . thus symbolically lending our approval to their entire selves."

Of course the subject of sex lends itself to humor, which he has plenty of, but it's more understated and observational than bawdy or tasteless. "One of the difficulties of sex is that it doesn't--in the grander scheme of things--last terribly long. Even at its extreme, we are talking of an activity that might only rarely occupy two hours, or approximately the length of a Catholic Mass." And the sex act itself is not merely about physical intimacy; "rather, it is an ecstasy we feel at encountering someone who may be able to put to rest certain of our greatest fears, and whom we may home to build a shared life based upon common values."

Despite his non-religious perspective (he is an atheist who has an admiration for religious culture and values), his writing has sparks of religious themes and Christian morality. He admires the monogamist impulse of religious ethics. Against the temptation to stray, both physically and mentally (as with pornography), "we should be able to see for ourselves that untrammeled liberty can paradoxically trap us, and that . . . we might be doing ourselves a favor if we willingly consented to cede certain of our privileges to a benign supervisory entity."

Regarding adultery, he recognizes that "few marriages . . . perfectly fuse together the three golden strands of fulfillment--romantic, erotic, and familial," but that even in an imperfect or incomplete marriage, "it is impossible to sleep with someone outside of marriage and not spoil the things we care about inside it. . . . That a couple should be willing to watch their lives go by from within the cage of marriage, without acting on outside sexual impulses, is a miracle of civilization and kindness for which they ought both to feel grateful on a daily basis."

Don't get me wrong; de Botton's sexual ethic may not pass muster for a Sunday school curriculum. But, as he intended, we can all learn a bit more about ourselves and our relationships, thinking more about sex. If nothing else, de Botton will help us not take sex, and our sexual partners, for granted. I love his advice for the bored or complacent: "We might learn to effect on our spouse much the same imaginative transformation that Manet performed on his vegetables. We should try to locate the good and the beautiful beneath the layers of habit and routine. . . . [We may] have forgotten that dimension in him or her that remains adventurous, impetuous, cheeky, intelligent and, above all else, alive." The way I read that is treasure your spouse, view her with eyes that see her as no one else does. Sounds like good advice to me.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy.
4 von 5 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Fantastic 26. Februar 2017
Von Matthew T. Carpenter - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
I was afraid this would be a book annulling the magic of sex by trying to intellectualize it, probably by a professor with much experience thinking about it likely because he did not have much experience doing it. Not so. I was overwhelming wrong. This is mature, thoughtful, erudite, and poignantly empathic book on how to the more about sex. It should be required reading in primary schools. This is the best book on how to think about sex and its place in our lives that I have found, and I have found a few good ones. I will say that I was surely able to appreciate it more at age 30 than I would have at age 20, but I still think it is the best.
2 von 2 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen easy read, amusing and direct 29. Oktober 2014
Von Kristia van Heerden - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
This book will challenge your perceptions and long-held beliefs on sex, marriage, fidelity and pornograhpy. It's a quick, easy read, amusing and direct. Read it if you are struggling to figure out how sex fits into your long-term, monogamous relationship or just for fun. So worth it.
5.0 von 5 Sternen Was dissapointed when it ended. 21. November 2016
Von Richard L.Prager - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
Sure, we all know everything there is to know about sex, relationships, marriage, attraction, etc. This well written little book opens one's mind to why we feel and think the way we do about intimacy and relationships. Educational and enjoyable.
5.0 von 5 Sternen Five Stars 21. Dezember 2016
Von QuetzalcoatL - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
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