A Martyr Left Alive - Picks up where Eulogy left off. All of the things I wrote about mourning prematurely on the last record have “died” and are no longer a part of my life. This song is about me coming to terms with that and being upset at the fact that everything we hold dear and keep sacred will eventually leave us in the end and wondering why we’re forced to be okay with it because they’re “in a better place” when they should still be here with me.
With Loving Arms Disfigured - This song is about how I chose to cope with losing the loved ones I was referencing on the last record. Obviously I spiraled mentally and sunk into a severe depression/substance abuse and the entire time I felt alone. This is me looking back on that and feeling let down by those who knew how hard this was for me and actively chose to ignore it, or just couldn’t be bothered to offer any help at all.
To Hear of War - This song is about me acting on the feelings laid out in the two songs before it. I felt defeated and expendable and it made me angry enough to write an entire song about waging a war and getting revenge on both god and heaven for taking all I loved from me, as well as those who saw it happen and did nothing.
No Lamb Was Lost - This song is about both my cat that passed away and the new cat I adopted a year after my first one died. Everyone knows how much Kuma meant to me and how much his death not only hurt but also changed me as a person. It’s about how much I love them both and would do anything to keep them safe, even if I had to take another life to save theirs.
Praise No Artery Intact - This song is about how badly I wish it could have been me that died, whether literally or figuratively, instead of the things I spoke about on Eulogy. It’s about the guilt of surviving when in the past I had literally begged to die. This is me asking why I was spared? I survived, but for what? To mourn that loss for the rest of my life?
Heaven Let Them Die - It’s an outro. I just wanted to reiterate the line from the end of Martyr and drive home the fact that I did everything I could and was left to watch things I held so close be torn away from me.
Tracklist
1. A Martyr Left Alive
2. With Loving Arms Disfigured
3. To Hear of War
4. No Lamb Was Lost
5. Praise No Artery Intact
6. Heaven Let Them Die
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