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Getting to 'I Do' (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 1. Februar 1995

4.3 von 5 Sternen 19 Kundenrezensionen

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"Move over, Dr. Ruth!"-- "Los Angeles Magazine"Just what cupid ordered!"-- "Beverly Hills Today"The woman's movement brought us independence, but it did not bring us love."-- Dr. Patricia Allen

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Von Ein Kunde am 6. Oktober 1998
Format: Taschenbuch
Two different women recommended this book to me. When one of them summarized it for me I thought it was different from my way of thinking but maybe something that I should investigate. Well, I did and I have to say that I have never been so insulted by a philosophy before. I read parts of this book aloud to a male colleague of mine and even he was insulted.
Let me start by asking when did being respected and being cherished become mutually exclusive? According to Dr. Allen you can have one or the other but never both. I also can't understand, and Dr. Allen never explains why, one woman can't possess both feminine and masculine qualities.
In the book she tells the story of a woman who meets an artist type she likes but is concerned he doesn't make enough money. Dr. Allen tells her to confront the man. She does and he responds that he just needs an impetus for success. He won't do it for himself but if he had a family he would climb the corporate ladder. What psychologist in her right mind would ever dare to suggest her client buy into that line and go ahead and marry the man, giving him the opportunity to become successful for her sake only? Even if it works out in the end (and of course it does in this story) that is not sage advice by anyone's standards, professional or otherwise.
Dr. Allen says that women "must defer to men's thinking". This is not taken out of context. Women - or anyone who chooses to be the feminine side should never ask for sex. You "may ask for all the things you want, like diamonds, houses and cars, because men like giving things. But in the area of love, time, affection and sex you must wait patiently for the best offer to say yes or no to." Men want to give you things, but apparently the bed is their domain.
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Format: Taschenbuch
the title of this book does it a disservice. It categorizes it with all the other silly dating and relationship books which focus on an expectation of GETTING a man. The truth is, that human relationships are hard, and confusing, there are lots of reasons for this. The core reason is that for so many valid reasons, we are scared of being receptive, or taking the lead graciously. Patricia Allen has given the gift of clarity and wisdom to the entire question of what are naturally the needs and inclinations of the masculine and the feminine energies within a relationship. Not a male or female bashing, or manipulation strategy, this book guided me back to the feminine in me that was so brutalized as a child, by showing me how to come from the receptive and this has liberated the masculine in my wonderful husband. I always thougth I had to go out and ask a man to do, be and give. But I have learned that a respected man loves to be, do and give to his feminine woman. I work less, feel cherished and feel less neediness. Today was a great day as I applied a lot of what she explains... I hope you all have the relationship of your dreams. I believe with her help we have a terrific chance of growing old together. Her other book, "staying married and loving it" is even more fun, as she goes into more detail about switching back and forth, allowing real liberty/liberation without destroying the other person. I learned the tender side of the masculine and feel so much more loved by myself and others, this book brought a message of real healing to me. And for those of you who have read "The Rules " and were disheartened by the warning that a marriage that did not start with the rules will never be a rules marriage. This is bunk.Lesen Sie weiter... ›
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Von Ein Kunde am 3. August 1999
Format: Taschenbuch
I've read some of the other reviews and would like to comment on the negative ones. At first I was put off by the title but a gentle friend of mine, after initially telling me of the book, continued to discuss passages with me when I would tell her of my relationship problems. Finally one day she brought it to me to read - just one particular passage she suggested. Well I started reading it and, like the negative reviewers, it got my hackles up at first. As I read on and tried to give it a chance I began to see glimmers of light. I soon realized that to benefit from this book (and you will one way or another) you must have patience. It really does go against so much of what we've been taught about equality and meeting men head on and it doesn't totally discourage that. One postive thread that continues throughout the entire book is self love. The author reminds us that we must first love ourself before we can love another. Remember when you read it that the first part is about catching a mate which requires patients and negotiation until the two of you find what works so you both feel mutual love. I think this book is a good read. It is definitely geared towards woman but men can benefit too. I find it much more positive about woman than Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus which seems to place a lot of relationship problems on the woman for not understanding a man. Remember we can learn something from everything we are exposed to and I think being exposed to this book is a good thing. I will say that the one part of the book that I didn't like was the author's use of examples - she always portrayed the woman as being a model, beautiful, gorgeous, sensuous - I wondered why she felt the need to paint the picture that way. Since reading this book I have purchased three more copies and sent them to friends as a gift asking them to give the book a chance in the hope they may gain some insight and find love.
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