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Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 27. Januar 2009

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“Nice girls don’t ask, but smart women do. Ask for It provides the tangible tools and tips you need to get your fair share of the raises, promotions, and perks you’ve earned—and deserve.”—Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D., author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office and Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich.

“Combining sophisticated strategy with down-to-earth action, Ask for It gives women a groundbreaking gift: the means to ask for what they’re worth. Women learn how to change their fear of negotiating into confidence that they’ll gain more if they ask for more—more pay, more status, more resources, more equitable treatment. Required reading for working women.”—Evelyn Murphy, President, The WAGE Project, Inc.; author of Getting Even: Why Women Don’t Get Paid Like Men and What To Do About It

"Filled with practical tips and real-life examples, Ask for It empowers women to ask for what they want and get it. A must-read for any woman looking to make a change at home or on the job." —Lindsay Hyde, President, Strong Women, Strong Girls, Inc.

“This upbeat, realistic, and inspiring book will help you create new possibilities in every part of your life—whether you’re just starting out or already mid-career. There’s even a “negotiation gym” for building your confidence and skills before you go for the gold. Give it to your mother, your daughter, your sister, your friends!” —Miriam Nelson, Ph.D., author of Strong Women Stay Young and Strong Women, Strong Bones

“The authors have devised a four-phase program of strategies and exercises to determine what you want, what you’re worth and how to increase your bargaining power…. This book is a practical and empowering resource, invaluable to anyone, male or female, looking to gain an advantage at the negotiation table.”—Publishers Weekly

From the Hardcover edition.


To research this groundbreaking book, Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever spent several years talking to thousands of women about the high cost of failing to ask for what they want. Through that research, one thing became abundantly clear: feelings of self doubt - that voice inside your head that says 'Don't get pushy. Do you really deserve more?' - consistently prevent women from getting the things they desire most, whether it's a pay rise, a nicer office, or even just some help around the house. In Ask for It, Babcock and Laschever have developed a unique, cooperative approach to negotiating that begins before you ever get to a bargaining table, one that will help women realise their self-worth and identify their goals as well as maximise their bargaining power. It will help propel you to new places both professionally and personally - and open doors you thought were closed. Essential reading for women everywhere, Ask For It will help you recognise how much more you deserve - and show you how to get it. -- Dieser Text bezieht sich auf eine vergriffene oder nicht verfügbare Ausgabe dieses Titels.

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Format: Kindle Edition
The book provides concrete advices and tools. In combination with Lean In from Sandberg a dupla absolutely recommendable for working women.
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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0x9b7dcbb8) von 5 Sternen 66 Rezensionen
41 von 43 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x9b0189b4) von 5 Sternen A book for women who think they don't need this book 14. Juni 2008
Von C. selle - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
I picked up this book with smug curiosity, confident that being able to ask for what I want was certainly NOT my issue. But what an eye-opener! I was guilty of every excuse in the book for not asking, on a day to day basis.

Asking doesn't just mean at the office. ASK FOR IT is about taking the time to identify one's life's desires, large and small, and asserting oneself with dignity, grace, and even humor.

This book is full of fun anecdotes, but also gives detailed instruction as to HOW to ask when one feels the need, but feels too uncertain about the fall out.

I can honestly say this book has changed my life. Period.
43 von 46 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x9b01130c) von 5 Sternen A must-read resource for any woman -- or man -- who wants to successfully leverage the power of negotiation 6. April 2008
Von Deejay - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
Women don't ask.

That was the premise -- and the title -- of a book published in 2003 by Linda Babcock, James M. Walton Professor of Economics at Carnegie Mellon University's H. John Heinz III School of Public Policy and Management, and successful writer and editor Sara Laschever.

"Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change" explored the uncomfortable truths about gender and negotiation and exposed the obstacles that keep women from negotiating effectively for themselves. While men seem to have no trouble negotiating and asking for what they need, women hesitate or fail to ask at all.

Social conditioning and cultural expectations are among the causes of these gendered differences. Tragically these differences produce well-documented economic costs for women, haunting them over the course of a lifetime. For example, according to the "Women Don't Ask" web site, "By not negotiating a first salary, an individual stands to lose more than $500,000 by age 60 -- and men are more than four times as likely as women to negotiate a first salary."

This book touched a raw nerve for the many women who read it; indeed, so overwhelming was the response to "Women Don't Ask" that Babcock and Laschever went to work on a sequel.

The result is "Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want", a book filled with practical advice; real-world negotiation stories from the authors, the women who have contacted them as a result of their work, and Babcock's students; and a detailed four-phase program with exercises for preparing for and succeeding in life's negotiations.

Phase One teaches women to recognize that "Everything Is Negotiable". As anyone knows, the toughest negotiation can be with yourself, and the authors help readers begin by asking questions of themselves to identify and clarify their professional and personal goals. Phase Two teaches readers how to "Lay the Groundwork", reviewing the skills and concepts of basic negotiation strategy. Among the most important lessons? Information is power -- and the authors explain how and where to get it to strengthen your bargaining position.

Phase Three, "Get Ready", pushes women to aim high when it comes to negotiating. It covers cooperative bargaining; ascertaining your worth; using logrolling or trade-offs to get past jams and build value; and how to make the first offer. Best of all, it even comes equipped with a "Negotiation Gym" -- a six-week program of increasingly difficult negotiation exercises that will help women build negotiation muscles and develop stamina and strength in preparation for tougher negotiation challenges. No one will ever kick sand in your face again.

Phase Four shows how women can "Put It All Together" -- to practice in advance by role playing with a friend, to avoid making concessions prematurely, to create the right impression to influence your counterpart at the table, and, finally, to close the deal.

An appendix helpfully provides a detailed worksheet to help women prepare for negotiations, along with a link to the web site where readers can download a PDF version.

Ask for It recounts numerous stories of women facing negotiations at work and in their lives, across a range of industries and professions, which bring the lessons to memorable life. However, as convincing as these anecdotes may be, I would have welcomed more examples of negotiations in blue-collar settings, my one quibble with an otherwise excellent book.

What makes this book a must-read for men, too, and not just for women are its unpleasant revelations about the realities of hidden bias against women at the negotiation table. The authors exhort readers to take responsibility themselves for combating gender bias, not just that of others but particularly their own. They remind readers that all of us regardless of gender possess assumptions and unexamined beliefs about women in negotiation. They point to studies that indicate that while aggression earns men points at the negotiation table, it punishes women with backlash and disapproval. And, while the authors fiercely advocate for women at the negotiation table, the chapter on "Likability" with its insistence that women avoid aggressive tactics and "be nice" while bargaining, will no doubt leave some readers bristling. However, until the world changes how it views women in negotiation, it's hard to argue with the studies the authors cite.

There is much to admire about this gutsy book with its commitment to helping women really succeed at negotiating. Even the title itself serves as a defiant call to action. Babcock and Laschever explain in the forward that the title represents a deliberate effort to reclaim a phrase weighted with negative meaning for women and instead assert it as an emblem of power: "For centuries the phrase 'asking for it' has been used as an accusing finger to point at women. A woman who'd been sexually assault was 'asking for it'. A woman who'd been the victim of spousal abuse must have provoked her partner -- she 'asked for it'. Our goal is to help women ask for and get the things they -- we -- really want, to claim the phrase 'asking for it' as our own and transform it into a dynamic tool for increasing our happiness and pursuing our dreams."

This is not simply a book about changing the way women negotiate. Instead, Babcock and Laschever have ambitiously set out to change women's lives. Any of us can join the revolution -- all we have to do is ask.
19 von 19 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x9b0143cc) von 5 Sternen Useful information about why you should negotiate, and guides to doing so 16. Oktober 2011
Von L S - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
This book is an excellent read, with helpful tips illustrated by lots of stories and studies. It is aimed primarily at women, but any person who wants to learn to negotiate better, in work or other parts of life, could benefit from it. It's especially good for people who don't know how to negotiate, or who think they shouldn't/don't need to ask for things. I love the section where the authors provide concrete exercises to help the reader go from non-negotiator to someone who is confident and practiced at asking for (and getting) things.

I took detailed notes from the book to refer to in the future. Here are a few examples of tips from the book that apply to everyone:

* Never ask if something is negotiable. It implies you're okay with it if not. Always assume yes.

* Ask for what you want when your bargaining power is high -- e.g., due to recent personal successes, or after a bunch of people leave the company and they're in a tight spot if they lose you.

* Each side can end up benefiting more by working collaboratively. Negotiation is often not zero-sum. You may think outside the original set of options to find something that meets everyone's needs better by discussing needs in detail and brainstorming. This is explored in a lot more detail in the book, and is one of the most valuable chapters.

* Whether or not to make the first offer depends on how much information you have. If you know the other side's bottom line but they don't know yours, go first. Set the anchor at a beneficial place to you. But if you have no idea what they'll pay, try to let them start the negotiation.

Here are a few examples of tips from the book aimed primarily at women -- because aggressive bargaining is often seen as positive coming from men, but negative coming from women:

* Avoid tentative language. "I'm not sure this is a good idea..." "Stop me if I'm wasting your time..." "I'm no expert, but..."

* Frame proposals and comments positively. Don't soften what you want; just frame it as a positive for both you and other side.

* Be relentlessly pleasant. Choose your words carefully, use a nonthreatening voice, and seem nice and friendly in all your actions. Express polite concern at the beginning that everyone is comfortable and has everything they need -- but don't fetch the coffee.
17 von 18 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x9b00a630) von 5 Sternen Practical and realistic guide to learning negotiation 31. Mai 2008
Von Valerie Aurora - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe Verifizierter Kauf
After "Women Don't Ask," we knew that, as women, we are trained to fear and avoid negotiation - and that the personal cost of that training runs into the hundreds of thousands of dollars over a lifetime (not to mention deep unhappiness and the waste of human potential). But everyone who read "Women Don't Ask" came back with the same question: How do I learn to negotiate?

"Ask for It" is the practical answer to that question. The authors give step-by-step instructions on how to learn to ask for (and get) what you want. The first step is to figure out what it is you want in life, above and beyond what you think you will be allowed to have. It's a surprisingly hard task when you've been trained to think about and fill other people's wants - try it! The program progresses by baby steps from there, negotiating for very minor unimportant things up to asking for things you are sure you can't get. As you progress, you'll learn by experience that you can get more than you think, and that people generally react much more positively to asking than you expect. Asking works, asking is safe, asking will make your life better.

One of the things I loved about "Women Don't Ask" was the inclusion of many studies conducted by social scientists on women and negotiation. "Ask for It" continues this trend, but also adds many personal stories about women negotiating. The stories aren't intended as scientific evidence but as examples and role models to help illustrate the authors' points. I found the concrete examples to be very helpful in showing just how much you can ask for and get. Some of the solutions are truly creative - I never imagined that an employer would be so flexible!

Finally, Babcock and Laschever managed to achieve the nearly impossible: They explain how to work around societal prejudices against women - while at the same time continuously asserting that these prejudices are unfair and should be changed. In particular, their advice on being "relentlessly pleasant" - the only way for women to ask for what they want without triggering anger and punishment - strikes this balance beautifully.
8 von 8 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0x9b011540) von 5 Sternen A Life-Changing Tool for Women 25. Juli 2013
Von Lynne Spreen - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
The male of our species seems to spring from the womb ready to negotiate everything. This tendency not only increases the wage and pension gap between men and women by the end of life, but it also adds to men's sense of empowerment and control in their world. Women don't ask, and as a direct result they get less. Exponentially less.

Why do we fail to ask?

Because we have this little voice inside of us, clucking and frowning. According to Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, who wrote Ask for It, we need to ignore that voice because:

"The little voice inside telling you not to do it (don't rock the boat, don't get pushy, why can't you be happy with what you have?) isn't your voice. It's the voice of a society that's still trying to tell women how to behave. It's a voice whose message is conveyed, often unwittingly, by our parents, teachers, colleagues, and friends - and then repeated and amplified by the media and popular culture."

The authors present numerous examples of the unintentional, unconscious, and overwhelming bias society applies to women. Like this: Female musicians applying for a job with an orchestra were 250% more likely to be selected if they auditioned behind a screen.

I know what you're thinking. "I'm fine," you say. "I don't deny that it exists. It's just that I personally have never suffered from discrimination." However, again quoting from Ask For It:

"Social psychologist Faye Crosby calls this `the denial of personal disadvantage' in which members of a particular group recognize that other members of the group have suffered but believe that they themselves have escaped it."

This bias without malice starts early. In a study, school children were asked to perform a small task and then pay themselves what they thought they deserved. (First graders were asked to award themselves Hershey's Kisses.) Here's the heartbreaking result: In first, fourth, seventh and tenth grades, girls consistently paid themselves 30% - 78% less than boys.

It adds up - or I should say down. According to the latest US Census, women still earn less than men in every category. But there's a simple way to overcome this ingrained self-doubt, self-effacement, and self-denigration: ASK. Simply pause before you agree to anything, and ask for something to sweeten the deal. Why not? What are we afraid of? All they can say is no, and then you're where you were before the ask. However, you might be pleasantly surprised.

I bought some furniture a couple days ago. The salesman tallied up the price, ending with "and delivery is $149." I looked at him and said, "Do you have any flexibility on that?" Without hesitation he knocked it down to $100. I saved fifty bucks with seven words! Men do this all the time. Per study after study, women don't. The authors found "clear and consistent evidence that men initiate negotiations to advance their own interests about four times as often as women do."

If you're unhappy with something in your life, assume it can be changed. How many of us assume the opposite, sigh, and keep plugging? This book includes many, many practical tools for learning to ask (as well as tons of examples and anecdotes, which made it fun reading.) In Chapter 10, for example, the authors describe "cooperative" bargaining (It's also called collaborative, or interest based, or win/win bargaining). It is more effective and comfortable than the traditional stony-eyed, fist-pounding version you might envision. Also - bonus! - this strategy is more natural to women. In fact, you probably use it every day with your kids, partner, and coworkers.

Now, here are some great tips taken from the book:

*Women specialize in waiting until they can't take it anymore and then blow up. Better to "assemble documentation, showing how you've increased the value, identify the best time to approach the boss, and make your case in a calm and businesslike way."
*Doing it sooner rather than later makes a negotiation easier. "The brain imposes costs when we worry about something, and the longer we worry, the higher the cost. The sooner you ask for something you want, the better the negotiation itself will feel."

As soon as my granddaughters are old enough to understand this book, I'm going to make sure they read it. Life is too precious to go through it with a self-imposed disadvantage.
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