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Now I Know The Answer,
Rezension bezieht sich auf: Dale Carnegies Lifetime Plan for Success: The Great Bestselling Works Complete in One Volume (Gebundene Ausgabe)
On her deathbed, friends waited eagerly for the last sagacious words of Gertrude Stein. She did not disappoint. "Now," she whispered, "I know the answer. But what is the question?" That's my reaction to these books that are not only classics but historic as well. Tens of millions of people who have trouble making friends and want to stop worrying-read this book. The book provides many answers but it leaves a major question.
"How To Make Friends" is, actually, a disguised book for salesmen on how to sell things.(It was written in the pre K-Mart/mall days. How do you get a guy to buy insurance? Make him your friend! Carnegie offered a national system of classes for salesmen and this book was used as the text. Still there are some valuable tips in connecting with people and getting them interested in your own spiel, but, in the end analysis, it verges on being manipulative. Learn to listen to people-even if they bore the hell out of you. Get them to open up to you-even if you acquire power over them at the sense of their own vulnerabilities. Don't talk about yourself;make them talk about themselves. Well, Freud has a lot more manipulative advice to offer-if you read between the lines.
Where I depart from Carnegie is his underlying definition of "friendship" which seems in getting people to do what you want them to do. Friendship is really deeper and much more two sided. If you want a true friend, you need to be genuinely interested in he/she and not just nod your head as you listen to a speech on how John Rocker should or should not play baseball in New York-yawn-or what really makes Hillary Clinton tick-a clock?
"How To Stop Worrying" does present a darned decent alternative to our current social solution-drug yourself up! But Carnegie's advice on "Think about the worst thing that can happen-then accept it" is intelligent but, often, undoable. His solutions involve mind control and much of it is supported by Reader's Digest type annecdotes-some of which were probably accepted more readily when this book was written. A chapter about a man who was given six months to live, who accepted that death sentence, and then went out on a cruise-and is still alive and kicking thirty years later-come on!
True, studies have shown that worry can exacerbate diseases and cause them to progress. Many cancer patients are into "wellness" which is basically a way to take control of your mind and use it to cure yourself.
But the world is not that simple. Carnegie's book is manna from heaven for salesman. Willie Lohman wouldn't have "taken the gas pipe" but rather owned a pipeline had he read this book.(not!) But true friends often depend on where we are in our own lives, what we have learned over our lifetimes, and sometimes overcoming bad lessons from the past-and that is very difficult to do. Worries suppressed can possibly lead to worse consequences. Today, a good sense of concern is probably the way to go. Why, just off the top of my head, I can figure out about a hundred things everyone in this country should worry about--
Dale Carnegie was the guru of the white collar middle class. His suggestions, while written in a rather dated style, cannot be easily dismissed. So go out, meet people, make friends, stop worrying, start living and, well, that's the answer, but I think we have to all look elsewhere for the question. That, I wouldn't tackle on long odds!
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