Not a Twilight fan.,
Rezension bezieht sich auf: Hidden (Marchwood Vampire Series) (Taschenbuch)
As I said, I'm not a Twilight fan, in fact I'm not a fan of anything, but I like a story that has pace.
And I like kick-arse females, as my female characters are on the agressive side too.
I only read the excerpt and found nothing wrong there. The dialogue was a little strange, but then again I've been away from the UK for too long.
One suggestion. I don't know if this is a "Brit" thing, but most of the books I read have " for the dialogue and not '.
The story was told in third person, past perfect, a good choice. Not something I can say for her next story, written in that awful teenie-mind-bending first person present tense.
Anybody who writes and has read and reads as much fiction as I do would agree that writing fiction in first person, present tense is an oxymoron in itself. How can you write about something that has happenned in the present tense!!? It defies logic, it's not a 'common sense' thing to do.
Start again, dear author, and write this other gem in past perfect and you'll be on a winner