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am 20. Mai 2000
Gavin de Becker writes an eye opening book about how parents need to be more involved in the safety of their children. I have always considered myself a diligent parent. But the author's blueprints for checking the depth of the water or checking for a clearly marked path through the woods taught me several lessons. Relying on intuition is a major theme here. But, the author reminds the parent to inquire more about what our children are doing and where they are heading. This includes becoming very acquainted with the parents of the children your kids become involved with. Only then can one's intuition provide the knowledge to make the right choices. Gavin de Becker reminds us to leave nothing to chance. Before you let your loved one visit or stay over a friend's house have you asked their parents about their policy on supervision, your child's access to you if a situation to them does not seem right, or their policy on guns for that matter. This is just one example of an uninformed state we may rely on in contrast to trusting our intuition or concerns. Woman protecting their children is covered so adeptly in this book with emphasis on a woman's innate ability to viciously defend her children when threatened. Gavin de Becker asks woman to generalize this ability to self-defense as well. But, all parents will benefit from reading this book. Again, many blueprints are provided by the author to guide the parent through the proper methods to insure our children's safety. The age of your children should not influence your decision to purchase this book since the author highlights the different set of threats to our teenagers as well. This well written book is a must-have for all parents with children of all ages.
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am 23. Mai 1999
As a retired federal law enforcement official and former instructor at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center in Brunswick, Georgia, I am familiar with Gavin De Becker and his Mosaic systems. So it should be no surprise that I rated "Protecting The Gift" at 5-stars. This one picks up right where "The Gift of Fear" left off. I was especially interested in his chapter on children at school. During my federal career I was intimately involved in training workers in how to deal with violence in the workplace. I also worked part time in youth programs and before it became popular, I was involved in helping public schools develop safety programs. Presently I am working in the "trenches" in a Northern Virginia high school as a Safety and Security Specialist. I help take the kids off the bus, I'm with them all day and I help put them on the busses at the end of the day. Gavin De Becker wrote MY book when he wrote Protecting The Gift. It is that good! It is a book that should be REQUIRED reading for all school administrators and parents. The part of the book that really gave me a "charge" came on page 21 where De Becker says "If we do all we can to protect children and invest them with a deep belief that they are safe, they will be less afraid, and thus less likely to be violent toward others." I have seen this in action. I have over 35 years as a practitioner in keeping people safe. This book by De Becker is a "a must read."
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am 8. Juni 1999
I read Gavin's first book, "The Gift of Fear," when it was originally published. Ever since then, I had hoped that he would write another. It must've been kismet when I had turned on "Oprah", (daytime television is not something I normally do), and there he was discussing "Protecting the Gift."This book is absolutely priceless in the information it provides. Gavin's writing style is easy to comprehend and makes for a quick read. The real life incidents cited here are often moving, but more importantly, they are examples of everyday folks who proved to be the strongest of survivors. I commend those who bravely told their stories to Mr. de Becker so that others could learn.I only wish that someone had written this book many, many decades ago, so that close friends of mine and dear family members could have protected themselves against the violence and sexual abuse that they endured for so many years. Or those around them could have noticed the tell-tale signs and intervened. But now I have a copy and when the day comes for me to be a Mother, I intend to give MY gift this important one.
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am 13. Juli 1999
Gavin De Becker's new book is a valuable and important extension of his excellent "The Gift of Fear." I teach high school psychology and had my classes read TGOF, which proved to be an eye-opening, empowering tool for teenagers. "Protecting the Gift" expands on these ideas by specifically focusing on child and teenager safety. While I agree with some minor criticisms that the new book repeats some older material, the repeated material is worth hearing again, and the new book provides the most thoughtful and specific advice I have heard on how to talk to children about self-protection. As I new parent, I am grateful for De Becker's instructions. My own parents are wonderful, but as I suspect is true of the vast majority of families, they never talked to me as a child about how to recognize, prevent, and report sexual abuse--or how to trust my intuition and say no to adults in any number of questionable circumstances. By teaching us how to engage in this dialogue, De Becker is doing the public a great service!
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am 19. Juni 1999
This book has changed my entire perspective on daily living. I suggest it to any parents or even any women involved with children (I am making my mother read it as she does the majority of babysitting), I also suggest any person involved with any child at any time should read this book. If it were made to be mandatory reading I believe the crime rate would drop across the globe. I also believe the lessons in this book should be taught to children in school. "safety" should be a class as any other "math", "english" etc. out of all the lessons this would be the most valuable. Gavin writes in clear concise layman terms that don't leave you to ponder what he meant. I like the way he gives examples and walks you through each tragic event. (making them tragic helps you to remember). Starting these lessons today can greatly improve your childs future and I suggest anyone with any age child should read (my boy is 8 months old!) Definately worth every cent (and I paid $34 for it as I am in Canada!)
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am 16. November 1999
My one diappointment with this book was that so many of the anecdotes were straight out of his first book, THE GIFT OF FEAR. Given his extraordinarily broad range of experiences, surely Gavin de Becker could have served up something fresher (shame on his editors, too). Aside from that, however, this is a terrific book, worth every penny -- and more. One key nugget of advice he gives is to tell children that when lost, seek out someone, preferably a woman, for help -- the point being that women are more likely to be helpful, and that when a child chooses someone he is less likely to be victimized than when someone else chooses him. Sounds obvious -- and yet, most people tell their kids "don't talk to strangers". This advice applies to adults as well -- choose before you are chosen. This is all good old fashioned common sense, but we don't always recognize it until someone like de Becker points it out. And he has, so very well. Thank you Gavin de Becker, and I hope you'll write more books with more (new) stories.
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am 14. Juli 2000
The number one lesson I got from this book is how to help your child develope their own istincts about people. As the parent of a four year old that never meets a stranger I was always worried he'd be talking to the wrong person at the park. But now I know instead of keeping him from interacting with anyone I don't know, I should help him develope the instinctive feeling for himself of who is nice, who makes you feel uncomfortable, things like that that will be valuable to him whenever I'm not there.
Many of the examples in the book are frightening, but also realistic, in fact the stranger lurking in the park is far less common than I thought. There is a lot of information about judging people like step-fathers, coaches, neighbors that will open your eyes. But instead of being more paranoid and fearful for my sons, I feel that I can control alot of things logically, and teach them to do the same when they are ready. A great book for all parents, whether you have boys or girls or toddlers or teenagers.
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am 13. Juli 1999
Once again, Mr. de Becker has allowed us his wonderful insights and common sense about how we can trust ourselves when we choose to listen. If everyone could read this book and learn to be aware of the natural phenomenon referred to as intuition, we could also set ourselves as an example to our children and start a new generation of safer societies and less stress, tension, hostility that is based on unwarranted fears and the sadness too often born in hindsight of those missed or ignored intuitions. Please read this book and take every suggestion to heart. I would encourage everyone to also read his earlier book The Gift of Fear for the same reasons applied to your own protection and safety. If you are unaware of how to truly protect yourself, you cannot be aware enough to protect your children. Sincerely, Barbara Reynolds, M.S., CCC-A Clinical Audiologist
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am 14. Juli 1999
Those too timorous to face the subject of threats to children's safety will find genuine strength in this book. Somehow, Gavin de Becker overcame a devastatingly violent childhood to become an expert not only on accurately predicting violence, which he illustrates ingeniously, but on when and where to feel safe, and whom to trust and why. This network of safety is so much more valuable than just teaching paranoia, a big mistake in De Becker's view. The last of his 12 succinct points for safety, the warning not to let a potential abductor lure or threaten a child (or anyone) into going along to a second location more beneficial to the abductor is worth the price of the book. I'm glad I didn't miss Gavin de Becker's warm and wise insight into the roots and the prevention of violence.
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am 12. Mai 1999
Gavin De Becker has done it again! The Gift of Fear, his first book, was incredible. Now with his second, De Becker establishes himself as not only a wonderful writer and storyteller, but as someone who has a major gift to give those of us who are concerned and committed to kids' safety. He imparts practical, sensible approaches to making decisions and judgments about how to keep our children safe. He empowers me when he validates the use of instinct as I'm sure he will any reader. He also inspires and moves me in his vivid and candid account of being physically abused when he was a boy. Protecting the Gift is indeed a gift. Thank you, and bless you, Gavin, for having the heart and soul to write what you know and feel. The world will be better for your commitment to all of us.
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