am 1. Oktober 2010
An insightful read, SCREAMFREE PARENTING progressed from humorous tone to a philosophical analysis on the subject of parenting, offering action plans to replace screaming voices with calming, peaceful & respectful one to raise children and grow well-rounded family members including parents themselves. As a family is born, growing up involves parents as well, Hal Runkel, the author and family therapist reminding us. There are real-life stories to read and ideas to put to good use, but most importantly, the book in its four parts on "Becoming Cool, Creating Space, Creating Place and Putting Yourself into Practice" will explain WHY we need to stay focused on screamfree parenting for our kids. This crucial understanding deepens the meaning and facilitates a calm and caring household.
When our youngest child went off to college, the school's president told us that many parents cannot let go. They call before, during and after every class. They help out with homework over the Internet. They want to hear about every stumble and bruise. The parents act like they are students in terms of how often they contact advisors and administrators on their children's behalf.
You can imagine what these kids are going to be like when their parents are ill or die. They'll feel like the world has ended. Is that any way to be a parent? I don't think so.
I like having children who become responsible, effective adults. I have four of them, and I'm happy with how it all turned out.
At the opposite end, you see parents going nuts because their two-year-old drops a spoon on the floor in a restaurant . . . again . . . and again . . . and again. We've all been there. We've all wanted to go nuts. But it's not good for anyone if you do.
ScreamFree Parenting gives you solid, realistic advice for how to handle those years from 2-18 so that your children end up the way you would like them to be . . . as themselves in a responsible life. . . and not as robots ordered around by you.
Hal Runkel does a good job of explaining how setting limits, letting children make mistakes and learn, and being calm make for a wonderful difference. I was reminded of the importance of calm last week when our local high school put on a one act play written by the students that described a 9 year-old girl being driven crazy by her parents' fights. Calm is good for children. They will eventually learn calmness from you . . . if you are a good role model.
So start to help your kids . . . by working on you!
I wish I had read this book when I was a new father. It would have saved lots of anxiety for everyone.
Nice going, Mr. Runkel