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7 von 7 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 10. November 1997
The Ethical Slut is an astonishingly good book. In fact, I'm going to have to really work hard to find anything to criticize, so before I do, rush out and buy it!
The basic message of the book is that love and sexual pleasure are Good Things, and that it is possible to ethically, sanely, increase the amount of love and pleasure in your life. To that end, the focus of the book is on polyamory/multiple consensual relationships/open marriage/swinging. However, the book is *so* good about how to fully open, express and enjoy your sexuality that I often found myself wishing that it *wasn't* a polyamory book -- its sex-positive message is more far-reaching than any particular lovestyle(s).

Easton & Liszt offer common sense, experience, humor, how-to's, how-not-to's in a clear, no-nonsense style. Advise is practical, sane, fun and peppered with lots & lots of real life examples that are sometimes joyous, sometimes sad, and once in a while pretty darn hot. All the important stuff is covered: Communication, boundaries, negotiating "the rules," jealousy, sexual inhibitions, sexual orientation, group sex, privacy, etc. etc. And at *no* point did I shake my head in disgust!

Okay, I said there was a criticism, and there is (just one). This is yet another Northern California Ecotopia book. I am so *sick* of all information about polyamory coming from there and there alone. I sometimes
want to stand on a rooftop and scream "I'm a Nice Jewish Girl from New Jersey and I Mess Around!!" That's right folks, polyamory is *not* stopped at California's borders and driven back in.

But, until *this* Nice Jewish Girl from New Jersey Who Messes Around writes a book on polyamory, The Ethical Slut is hands-down the best there is. Read it yourself, and give it to a friend. You could even buy the T-shirt and wear it in public.
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3 von 3 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 24. Juli 2000
This book is a wonderful introduction and overview of non-monogamous lifestyles. I could gloss over the honesty, openess and need for permission that others have already mentioned but I will save you a minute so that you can spend it ordering this terrific book. Polygamy - more than one spouse - is the standard through nearly all of the non-Western world. Whether it is polygyny - multiple wives, or polyandry - multiple husbands, over 3/4 of the world population practice it! Polyamory applies to both women and to men and it encompasses many different relationship levels, not just marriage.
Reading books on this very old standard as well as how to live this life openly when not in a "relationship" as I am not right now is a wonderful step forward to our more civilized past when people were open and honest and everyone knew what went on and no one had any problem with it! I am VERY happy to see this subject matter breaking into the mainstream and no longer confined to the Anthropology section!
Whether you are a swinging "single," a co-wife/co-husband, or anywhere in between, this book has something for you - especially those who consider themselves mono but are involved with someone who is poly!
A must read.
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2 von 2 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 2. Mai 2000
Having been raised in a European style mode where nudity and what I can best discribe as a Libertarian mindset was the norm I was keen on reading this book after a dear friend Dave in Los Altos told me about it. Sex is both an interesting subject and one that all to many Americans lie to themselves about. The authors seek to share both ideas about how we are all unique and have our own paths to walk as well as sharing information about openess and honesty and finding what works for each of us even if it means taking a lover(s). Personally I could care less if someone has a lover because only they know what they need and what they can handle. As the authors note and I agree with, the issue is honesty and finding a way to make it all work.
Family members of mine have had lovers. They became part of the family inner circle. Meaning they never made a big deal out of the sex side of their lives, since sex/sensuality were a part of life be it in food, art, design or the bedroom. What The Ethical Slut does is put a word to the Lifestyle. Polyamory. I had never heard the term until a few years ago, and I dislike labels anyway, and I still shake my head often as I still see people confusing Polyamory with Mormon Polygamy which is multiple wives. In Polyamory women have lovers either male or female, and marriage is not the aim. Openess and total honesty is.
The authors are wise as they explain that having such a lifestyle requires a great deal of effort and energy. They are also wise because it is not the sex they totally focus on but the emotional and physical effort involved. I bought the book for myself then extra copies to lend out (bookplate inside) and for my local library. They appreciate thought provoking literature thankfully. Even if you are not interested in taking on extra lovers/family members, read the book simply to learn something new about an area you never knew of before. If anything it will dispell the notion the "moral police" project, that says sex outside the monogamy bounds is unhealthy and bad. Polyamory people are not fools as the authors point out. But people who are wise enough to realize that no one person can meet all their needs, and rather than "cheat" and "sneak" sex, emotional and physical nurturing one should be upfront with themself and the one(s) they love. We all have a right to have our needs met, this the authors stress.
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2 von 2 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 30. Juni 2000
I've seen so many failed marriages due to infidelity that recently I began to wonder what I was in for if I ever took that big step. After all, I didn't seem any better than the couples I knew, and certainly I'd been attracted to many different people, both male and female. Thats when I found this book.
This is a great read for people with feelings like gives a great account of the guidelines you need if you ever choose to enter into polyamory. Several good points are emphasized: love and sex are not necessarily the same, one may be an expression of the other but they CAN be completely separate. Love, sex and pleasure are not limited qualities people can love someone else and make love to them without depriving your "primary" partner of the same feelings and actions. Drawbacks are also discussed, including time constraints, jealousy, respecting privacy and property of all your lovers, and coming out to your kids about your relationship (most actually think its pretty cool because there's always someone to talk to).
I read this book aloud with my girlfriend because we had always been curious about poly-type relationships. We asked ourselves many questions, and when we finally attended our first party, we were able to talk more afterwards and decided we loved it...and yet we could still be committed to each other! And we're still going strong...thanks to this and other wonderful resources that provided a basis for us to try new things!
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2 von 2 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 12. Mai 1999
I don't detect an anti-male bias at all in this book and find it fairly realistic. There are some things that won't suit everyone, but it presents the wide range of possibilities. Sticky issues like coming out, family, kids, etc. are addressed, which is refreshing. It's a whole life we're talking about here, not just Saturday night. I think mono/exclusive couples could learn a lot about handling jealousy, communication skills, and conflict resolution from this book, those chapters were excellent. The etiquette and respect the authors advocate need to be taken to heart because there are a lot of rude people out there! Rudeness is a definite unschwinggg. Anyway, this book is not about playing out fairy tale or porn flick roles, but being real with real people, with communication and respect and radical yet gentle honesty. Wish I had it when I was 18!
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2 von 2 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 23. Juni 1999
Not only does this book confirm that there are other people who don't believe that monogamy is the ideal, but it explains how they survive in a world that doesn't agree. It even offers helpful hints to consider, whether it is your first time or your fiftieth. It details how rational and happy alternative relationships can be in a way that is non-threatening.
I read it twice, with a highlighter! I even bought copies for all my friends who could never understand what I was talking about before. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is or knows someone who is involved in or curious about non-monogamy.
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1 von 1 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 14. April 1998
Like other reviewers, I've bought many copies of this and give or loan them out to friends, lovers, and people I'm interested in. Rather than duplicate other reviews in their glowing general praise (which would be easy), I'll go a step further and strongly suggest getting this book not because it will help you find multiple lovers or because it's a good read, or because it's full of helpful advice on relationships in general, but rather because without the advice and insight in this book polyamory is *really* hard to pull off. This book gives you many of the lessons you might not learn otherwise except by having dismal relationship failures and painful breakups. (These may still come anyway, but The Ethical Slut will help you avoid them, and cope if they happen). I can't recommend this highly enough. However, I would add the slight caveat that the somewhat hedonistic approach of Easton & Liszt can be balanced out fairly well by a follow-up reading of Anapol's Polyamory: The New 'Love Without Limits'. Anapol's work is not as "fun", and gets tediously naggy along "spirituality" lines that are very hippyish and and full of newage, but the message she conveys include a lot of responsibility and cooperation memes that are not as prevalent in Easton & Liszt's book. The two-book combo is really a must.
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1 von 1 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 3. März 1999
For years I have tried to explain many of the topices covered in this book to new couples testing the waters of the swinging lifestyle. Now I have a book that I can recommend that covers most of the areas extremely well. An additional benefit of this book is that is is written by two women in the lifestyle. Many other books written on the subject are written by men and are looked at by women readers as just another man trying to convince women to be more sexually promiscuios. The only area that I wish the authors would have spent more time on is the subject of nurturing your primary partner and relationship while introducing them to the new way of living. All in all, this is the very best book I've found concerning open relationships and swinging. I would recommend it to anyone.
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1 von 1 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 23. März 1999
Most books of this type tend to have some gender bias or are geared primarily towards one type of relationships style. Being sensitive to anti-male biases as a polyamorous bisexual male, I felt I should check it out. Not only is the book NOT anti-male, it had one of the most balanced presentations of the subject matter I've ever seen. I'd not hesitate to recommend it to anyone regardless of gender or orientation or relationship style. I don't find many books that I can say that without qualification and this is one of those. It is a valuable tool for explaining my relationship style to others as it presents nonmonogamy as an alternative to traditional relationship styles without passing judgement on those who prefer monogamy.
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1 von 1 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich.
am 16. Februar 1999
The Ethical Slut is an exuberant guide to perhaps our least talked about sexual frontier: successful and nonexploitive polyamory. It is filled with countless real life vignettes from two lifetimes of ethical sluttery, clearly addressing some of the common problems that will confront and may confound both the new and the experienced sexual adventurer. It delves far beyond the scope of "swinging" by addressing such issues as childrearing, health , communication, dealing with jealousy, and conflict resolution techniques. It is very affirming of a misunderstood lifestyle choice while consistently giving specific and practical advice. A good choice for anyone considering this difficult to navigate but highly rewarding lifestyle.
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