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am 6. Juli 2000
I've finally got around to reading Come Heither - and it was a great trip. Fun and light but insightfull the author covers the basics and shares her experience about d/s in a friendly human way. This is a big plus.
Part of me thinks there isn't a lot new here (Sensuous Magic and Screw the thorns are still the classics for me) what is rare is Brame's idea that if d/s players spent more time on the emotional, psychological and sensual aspects of it rather then the type of toys you use the scene would be full of much happier people. Common sense but not something I've seen a lot in the scene so far. Also her common sense explantion of what makes a good dominant, lifestyle as opposed to role play, and interacting in public are worth buying the book alone. It was very helpful to me in those aspects.
A side note. I started to understand d/s better once I read a few vanilla relationship books. A Mistress is still a human being despite all the melodrama. We need more "human" books out there like this one. bravo! (HieroV@aol.com)
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am 26. Juni 2000
From Skin Two magazine: "Gloria Brame is to heterosexual kinky sex what Pat Califia has been to the lesbian equivalent. She has an admirable talent for explaining the hows and whys of kink and promoting it as a perfectly acceptable alternative to vanilla, demystifying it without destroying its thrill. Although aimed at the 'mainstream reader', this excellent book will provide a thought-provoking, informative and entertaining read for the experienced player. It covers the basic kinks--bondage, transgenderism, fetishism, SM, DS etc--plus some you might not have heard of. There's advice on things like play party etiquette and how to attract a femdom, along with discussion of thorny problems like dealing with hostile partners and how to punish a masochist. Brame's authoritative writing is backed by sound knowledge of the science and psychology behind the things kinky people get up to (she has a PhD in Human Sexuality) and enlivened by her wicked sense of humour. Buy this book as a gift for someone, but make sure you read it first yourself!" SKIN TWO, Summer issue 32, page 24.
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am 14. Mai 2000
There is some good information in this book and if this book had been published ten years ago it would have been very valuable. However there are now already at least half a dozen good intro-to-BDSM books in print and given that fact this book does not convince me that it needs to be there too.
There is some general discussion of basic topics such as negotiation and consent, and some safety tips. There isn't even a single illustration other than the cartoons on the cover. There is also a long chapter on cross-dressing which is pretty good but I don't quite understand what its doing in a BDSM book.
The information in it is pretty good but the book seems to lack an overall sense of direction and organization. I don't think its entirely clear on what kind of book its trying to be. Still there is some good information in here.
In my opinion better introduction to BDSM books have been written by Philip Miller and Molly Devon, Jay Wiseman, Pat Califia, John Warren, Lady Green and Race Bannon.
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am 18. April 2000
As much as I respected Different Loving, I think with Come Hither Dr. Brame has finally written a book that everyone can read and enjoy, cover to cover. Some of the quizzes were funny as hell and the glossary is invaluable. The book was chockful of new ideas. As a lifestyler I was impressed with the way she defines lifestyle vs roleplay SM--I've never seen it explained that way and it added new dimension for me to wiitwd. I also never saw good advice before about how to get your partner to do SM with you before. Most of the books on SM are written by amateurs. That's one of the best things about Dr. Brame. She's a professional writer. It really shows when you compare it to most of what's out there. This isn't just informative, it's a great read!
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am 5. April 2000
While there were several sections of the book that were quite good (such as Transgenderism, descriptions of Dominants/submissives, Bondage, and a good resources section), there were several chapters that seemed to cover the same topics that other books for SM novices have already covered. While these are important topics to cover, it seems the author made these topics a bit too simplistic. In the first half of the book, I found my mind wandering often.
The second half of the book (where most of the above information is located) was better. However, Gloria's mention of "Old Guard" practices is slightly off. There never was one true Old Guard (possibly variations on it), and she makes it seem as if there was.
I also noticed in the Resource section that no mention is made of the book SM101 by Jay Wiseman, which IMO is also an excellent introductory SM book.
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am 18. März 2000
This is a truly mediocre book, form someone who ought to be able to do better. Ms Brame has been active in the SM scene for years; she ought to have rid herself of the stereotypes years ago, especially since this is so clearly a book intended for people so new to the scene that they don't even know if they are dominant or submissive. And Ms Brame ought to be able to help them with that without resorting to silly, "Cosmo" style quizzes that really only provide limited amusement and less real information. The amount of cutesy tripe that puffs up this book is especially annoying because there are some sections that have the potential to be of great help to the newcomer, but can barely be found, buried, as they are, under trite in-jokes. Perhaps Ms Brame figured that actually providing information wasn't so important, as her readers had probably already read the other, really good books that have been introducing newcomers to the scene for many years.
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am 15. März 2000
This book is a must for those who are either in the BDSM lifestyle or those who yearn for the answer to that burning question...how can I explore my kinky side? Dr. Brame's informative and witty style brings you close enough to kink and fetishes to smell the leather and feel the sting of the whip. I was astounded by the wide variety of fetishes! Another incredible book from the most talented Dr. Brame.
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am 2. März 2000
When beer companies and fashion designers begin basing advertising campaigns on high-gloss photographs of men licking the feet of models wearing black stilettos, you know pop culture has truly become obsessed with all things leather and kinky. It's a far cry from 1993 when Dr. Gloria Brame was the lead writer of "Different Loving," the ground-breaking book on sexual dominance and submission. The book was so controversial it almost didn't get published; it's now considered the Bible of the BDSM movement and one of the driving forces behind kink going mainstream.
"Come Hither" is Brame's long-waited follow-up, a perfect companion to that first book. If "Different Loving" was a scholarly and detached overview of an exciting and unexplored new world, then "Come Hither" is like finding a chatty and knowledgeable tour guide who knows all the best spots in town.
This is a book for both the curious and the experienced. Fearful of sharing your fantasies of being tied up to your partner? "Come Hither" offers clear and smart advice. Wondering about the proper use of a Butterfly Board or a Neuro-Wheel? "Come Hither" has detailed descriptions of dozens of kinky toys and devices.
Brame not only is one of the world's foremost experts on BDSM, she's also an engaging writer who is able to convey her passion and knowledge in a conversational style. She never takes herself, or her topic, too seriously. So much of society's perception of BDSM is cloaked in danger and darkness. Brame shows the human side: the intimacy and the warmth and the humor. "Will heavy makeup make me look cheap?" she asks in a chapter delving into cross-dressing. "Of course," she replies, with a wink and a nod. "Isn't that the fun part of it?"
You'll find a lot of those kinds of moments in "Come Hither." You'll also find solid and fascinating information and tips by the woman who, literally, wrote "the book" on BDSM.
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am 5. Januar 2000
I have read other books professing to be "guides to kinky sex" but they usually have included too much of the het perspective, which I am not a fan of, rather than focusing solely one side versus the other, this is a perfect blend of the two.
Come Hither appealed to that part of me that believes in the beauty and passion of kinky sex being just as normal as white bread, while also validating the empowerment all gay men need to feel around their sexuality and sexual expression. A wonderful testament to the interface between hot sexual encounters and the pursuit for sexual freedom with an added touch of old guard leather-sex history.
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