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am 22. Januar 2000
Common sense, but hard pressed to find anything new and enlightening. I was suspicious about the author's over emphasis on the parents being the "boss" all the time. And I was even more suspicious why the author left out common ideas about parents investigating their own childhoods and their issues from childhood being resolved, unresolved, or still in denial about. Or, to put it another way, what negative or shadow parts of parents are likely to be put onto their children. A very simplistic book with no guts and void of suggesting current parents deal with their painful past. No wonder he is popular with a society in massive denial and addiction.
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am 21. September 1999
It seems like a book that was written in a rush. There are even typos in the book (he uses "where" instead of "were" and other spell check glitches...). Seems elementary. I couldn't read more than the first half and then I put it down. I was hoping for something insightful, but just got a dozen theories all jumbled into one book without much explanation.
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am 12. Januar 2000
I agree with other reviewers that there are a few good ideas, but many too many words. Lots of repetition. Nothing really specific and nothing really new. He even uses the concept of Positive Parenting like he invented the term, which has been used by Jane Nelson for years. There are many other better, more concise and more specific books out there.
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am 3. Oktober 1999
I was so excited when I saw this book had been published. My husband and I both read 'Men are from Mars...' and we couldn't believe how right he was about so many things. So, naturally, I was expecting this book to be very insightful. Although this book has some good points, there wasn't much in it that I haven't heard before. I also believe that if this book had been edited (which it clearly hadn't considering the number of typos) it could've been about 150 pages long instead of 350. His ideas were summarized and re-summarized tediously. Lastly, John believes in positive parenting which I also believe in. He repeats throughout his book that fear-based parenting is ineffective, which I also believe. So what I don't understand is why he would suggest "The ideal time out is accomplished when a parent puts a child in a room and holds the door shut. It is a natural expression of resistance for a child to try to get out." Do you think a little child is not in fear when they are trapped in a room unable to get out??? I don't care if an adult is on the other side or not. We now know that spanking our children can be both psychologically and emotionally scarring. Common sense tells me that containing my little girl in a room by herself while she's pounding on the door to get out or putting her little fingers under it saying 'Please let me out' ALSO is NOT effective parenting.
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am 11. April 2000
I see this book as a third pillar in a self-help trilogy from Dr. Gray together with "How to get what you want..." and "...Together forever". The book reveals to a great extent how a person's childhood and adolescence affect his perceptions about life, and the way he raises up his children later. I have seen parents who followed 2 or 3 skills out of the five that Dr. Gray mentioned, but not all five. That implied either "soft" or "hard" parenting which ARE negative methods. But the way stipulated in that book, from my prospective, is really THE positive way! My uncle has raised up his son in a way very close to Gray's method, and now he has a World Champion in Karate with very high self-esteem! I am longing for the next gem from you Dr. Gray! Well done!
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am 31. August 1999
John Gray's new book is incredible. If you have children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews it's a must. All teachers, administrators, coaches, day care professionals, or anyone at all who works with or comes into contact with children would benefit greatly from reading this insightful book. There are so many ideas, all of which give adults the tools in being successful in raising loving, compassionate, considerate children. In this day and age of teen violence and confusion John Gray has given us hope. This book will affect parentinglike Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus affected relationships. Putting both into practicewill affect many generations to come. What a world we could have. Thank you John for your insight!
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am 5. November 1999
I was very exited when I stumbled upon this book because my husband and I have been at war with each other on the issues of what type of parenting we wanted to use. After reading the book I realized that I was soft-love parenting and my husband was more fear based parenting. This had to be confusing for our children. We are now working together and using the basic ideas from the book to raise confident, cooperative and respectful children. The only complaint that I had about the book was the redundancy of it. Many things were explained many times but different ways but the message was the same. If it could be re-issued with better editing it would be a 5-star book.
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am 10. September 1999
John Gray shows us in this book how as a parent we can understand our children and how we effectively can show them our love and appreciation. He places great value on these young lives, and makes suggestions how we can encourage them in their process of growing up. Another book that I highly recommend and which also deals with the subject of self-esteem in our children, but also for us parents, including the problems that evolve in the growing-up process through identity crises, and how we can be positive toward our children, is Dietmar Scherf's pratical self-esteem guide "I Love Me: Avoiding and Overcoming Depression" which can also be bought at Amazon.
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am 13. Juni 2000
This book is wonderful and introduces some really alternative methods not only to discipline, but also on nurturing children. I was really amazed by Dr. Gray's insight and the things that he said about communication between children and parents. The methods he introduces here are very different from those that I use in my home, but I am seeing a real difference in my children by using them...and I'm only on chapter three. I highly recommend this book if you are looking to do things differently. If you don't want to do the work, it won't help you. It will require a significant...but fruitful...commitment in order to achieve success.
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am 19. Oktober 1999
This book has some wonderful theories that I hope to practice,but reading through this book was tedious because of the lack ofediting and repetition. I feel like marking up the book and returning it to the publisher, if only I had time. This book needs to be edited and re-released. Publishing this book in such a state reflects poorly on the Publisher and the Author.
I also disagree with the notion that children today are more sensitive than older generations were when they were children. Dr. Gray didn't say much to back up this premise, but I do not believe that this is at all relevant to his message.
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