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Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide
 
 

Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide [Kindle Edition]

Linda Babcock , Sara Laschever
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Men ask for what they want twice as often as women do and initiate negotiation four times more, report economist Linda Babcock and writer Sara Laschever in the footnoted but engaging Women Don't Ask. With vivid research examples drawn from cradle, classroom and playground, the authors detail culture as the culprit in discouraging women from negotiating on their own behalf.

Men, socialized in a "scrappier paradigm," learn to pursue and energize their goals at work and home. The two key elements are control and recognizing opportunity. For example, girls, rewarded for hard work, learn to see control as outside of themselves while boys are urged to take charge. Boys are schooled to recognize opportunity and girls to choose safe targets.

Several chapters are focused on prescription; how women can decrease anxiety, anticipate roadblocks, plan counter-moves and resist conceding too much or too soon. The authors shine in their examination of culture and gender--and their optimism about how women can counter the culture. They falter whenever they adopt the "sexes-from-a-different-planet" fallacy. Most notably, in a chapter that details a "female approach" to negotiating. Overall, the authors have created a smart summary of research and used it to affirm every woman's urgent right to ask. --Barbara Mackoff

Amazon.com

Men ask for what they want twice as often as women do and initiate negotiation four times more, report economist Linda Babcock and writer Sara Laschever in the footnoted but engaging Women Don't Ask. With vivid research examples drawn from cradle, classroom and playground, the authors detail culture as the culprit in discouraging women from negotiating on their own behalf.

Men, socialized in a "scrappier paradigm," learn to pursue and energize their goals at work and home. The two key elements are control and recognizing opportunity. For example, girls, rewarded for hard work, learn to see control as outside of themselves while boys are urged to take charge. Boys are schooled to recognize opportunity and girls to choose safe targets.

Several chapters are focused on prescription; how women can decrease anxiety, anticipate roadblocks, plan counter-moves and resist conceding too much or too soon. The authors shine in their examination of culture and gender--and their optimism about how women can counter the culture. They falter whenever they adopt the "sexes-from-a-different-planet" fallacy. Most notably, in a chapter that details a "female approach" to negotiating. Overall, the authors have created a smart summary of research and used it to affirm every woman's urgent right to ask. --Barbara Mackoff


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5 von 5 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Klug und erhellend! Wise and enlightning! 1. Februar 2005
Von Ein Kunde
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe
Linda Babcock und Sara Laschever beschreiben in ihrem Buch "Women don't ask. Negotiation and the Gender Divide." die Situation der Frau in der westlichen Gesellschaft. Die sachliche Grundlage bilden zahlreiche Studien, deren Ergebnisse die Autorinnen klug verknüpfen. Zitate von befragten Frauen heben die Inhalte jenseits der wissenschaftlichen Ebene in unser Leben. Dorthin, wo wir uns schon selbst die eine oder andere Frage gestellt haben. Ein tolles Buch, das ohne Polemik und ohne Anschuldigungen auskommt. Ein Buch, das anregt die eigenen Verhaltensweisen zu überdenken - egal, ob Frau oder Mann.
Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever describe the situation of women in the western society in their book "Women don't ask. Negotiation and the Gender Divide." Their work bases on scientific research. The authors link very wisely the results of many different studies. Quotations of real persons lift the content beyond the scientific level directly in our lives. There where we have already asked ourselves more or less numerous questions. It's a great book renouncing polemic and accusations completely. It's a book, that makes you think about your own behavior - no matter whether you're female or male.
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Amazon.com: 4.6 von 5 Sternen  33 Rezensionen
46 von 48 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Powerful!! 4. Februar 2004
Von D. Raymond - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe|Verifizierter Kauf
I read this book in almost one sitting. It has compelling factual data and riveting anecdotes. But, unlike Backlash, by Susan Faludi, which was almost totally negative, the authors also look at women's strengths in negotiation, and give some ideas for how to put their ideas into action.

It's not a how-to-negotiate book; I've spent the last 23 years practicing corporate law, negotiating sophisticated legal transactions and running an in-house department. This book goes beyond "how to" into "why". Essential reading for any woman!
31 von 35 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
4.0 von 5 Sternen Familiar, But Well-Supported 7. März 2005
Von Ruth Edlund - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe|Verifizierter Kauf
There isn't anything surprising in here to any woman who has been around the business world for a while. However, the book's real value is that it provides empirical evidence to support Everywoman's anecdotal observations.

What I found most useful about this book is evidence cited that women's "tend and befriend," cooperative approach to negotiation results in greater gains in the long run, in part because of women's ability to reframe. It also confirmed my impression that women are more successful in business when they soften their mode of delivery (although not their message).

The authors further reframe the scope of "negotiation" to include women's personal, including homemaking, lives, to remind us all that equality should not end at the thresholds to our homes.

Ultimately, every negotiator has to find his or her own personal style. This book made me feel just that much better about including lipstick and high heels in my arsenal.
18 von 20 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Highly recommended 28. Januar 2004
Von Kathy Elliott, co-author "The Old Girls' Network" - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe
This book is incredibly well-researched and thoughtfully laid out. It builds its case beautifully with interesting examples, then backs it up with empirical research. And credit to the authors' writing styles, for they do not point fingers or whine about the way things are. And they never fall into a dry style of writing. The book flows nicely, and is easy to read.
Most importantly, they shine a light on issues women have in asking for what they deserve and by laying out their case in such a well-articulated fashion, they help provide answers that we can all act upon and move forward with.
The issues that the book explores impact women across all facets of their life -- from negotiating child care responsibilites to getting the recognition and compensation they deserve on the job. As a co-author of the business book "The Old Girls' Network", I see these issues in evidence in how women buiness owners also negotiate -- for contracts, for customers, in how they price their products and reticence about charging appropriately. So, I would say this book has broad appeal to stay at home moms, women in corporate life and for the large contingent of female entrepreneurs. It is a must-have addition to all of our reading lists, and one that should bring positive results.
33 von 41 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen First Rate 24. Oktober 2003
Von John D. Baker - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe
First Rate
Linda Babcock is the James Mellon Walton Professor of Economics at the H. John Heinz III School of Public Policy and Management of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She holds a Ph.D. in economics from the University of Wisconsin at Madison and is a well-published specialist in negotiation and dispute resolution.
Sara Laschever is a prolific writer and editor with extensive experience in gender research. Ms. Laschever was a research associate and principal interviewer for Project Access, a Harvard University study of the effect of gender on the advancement of women in science. She holds a Master's degree from Boston University.
Women Don't Ask is a work with multiple interwoven themes. At its core, it is an important study of gender differences in negotiations. It is also a handbook for women offering concrete advice on how to improve their performance in negotiations.
Still further, it is a book about possibilities. Centering on traditional areas of women's strengths in sharing information and building and preserving relationships, it concludes that women are potentially in a position to use these qualities with great effect in collaborative negotiating environments. Gender differences, therefore, include both hurdles to be overcome and promises for enhanced performance for women in negotiations.
Lastly, the reader will find the book presents a compelling case for the necessity of participation and skill in negotiations as an increasingly critical survival mechanism for both women and men in contemporary life. Although focusing primarily on women, the authors present an array of general statistics defining an environment in which all workers need to bargain repeatedly with a succession of employers for salaries and benefits.
The central thesis of this book is that the enhancement of negotiating performance is essential to improving the quality of life for women. The corollary message for those many men who do not negotiate well is equally clear. Negotiation is a critical skill for both sexes. This work, of course, is focused on enhancing women's skills.
Why don't women negotiate well, because they do not ask, the authors assert. Using multiple studies and over 100 interviews with women and men in the U.S., Britain and Europe, the authors draw a portrait of gender differences in negotiations.
A study of starting salaries received by recently graduating students at Carnegie Mellon University is central to the authors' conclusions. Starting salaries reported by the students showed that women received starting salaries averaging $4,000 below their male peers. Why?
Fifty-seven percent of the men negotiated their employment package vs. only seven percent of the women. This book explores the significant economic impacts of the decision by some graduates to negotiate vs. the decision of others not to negotiate at all. The results for those who negotiated, both women and men, produced an average gain of over $4,000 per year in starting salary, almost precisely the gender pay gap reported by the group itself. The conclusion, of course, is that the gender difference in rates of initiation of salary negotiations is directly correlated to the gap.
A variety of other research studies back up this assumption. The authors cite a study showing that men are two to three times as likely to initiate negotiations as women (p.3). Another study reports that twenty percent of women executives stated that they never negotiate at all (p. 113). Clearly, as the authors point out, the most important negotiating tactic is "choosing to negotiate at all (p.6).
Since this is a book about women and negotiating, the authors move forward to explore why the socialization of women leads to an avoidance of negotiations or poorer performance when they participate in negotiations. For those forty-three percent of male Carnegie Mellon graduates who also did not negotiate their starting salaries, there is a clear and equally important warning, but their answer is not the subject of this book.
"Women set lower targets and settle for less in their negotiations because they lack confidence in their ability to negotiate effectively," the authors tell us (p.140). The reasons for this gender difference are clearly spelled out in the book. It will be a revelation for many men, perhaps most, but my own informal sample of women found that many of them know most of the reasons already. What they do not know is how to change it.
Of particular interest, therefore, is the remedy Babcock and Laschever propose for this situation. The answer for improving the performance of women in negotiations, the authors assert, lies in self-management training. "... Increasing women's feelings of control over the negotiation process eliminated the gender gap in performance" (p.114).
Readers will find an interesting and persuasive exploration of this research carefully linking to their earlier work. You will, of course, need to read the book to see why they believe this is so.
The authors conclude with a statement of belief that, freed from anxiety and other social scriptures that are present barriers, women can achieve extraordinary success as negotiators by capitalizing on their other gender based qualities. Women are listeners, sharers and relationship builders and these gender-based factors, the authors assert, position them for leadership in the new collaborative negotiations thrust, the authors assert.
There is much more here than this review can explore, including a chapter on negotiating at home as well as in the work place.
It is a well-researched, carefully analyzed and interesting book that is certain to be widely read, discussed and debated throughout the organizational world and is, therefore, a "must read" both women and men.
Highly recommended.
John D. Baker, Ph.D.
Editor, The Negotiator Magazine
26 von 33 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Highly Recommended! 1. März 2004
Von Rolf Dobelli - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe
The debate on gender equity often emphasizes that women earn less than men with similar experience. Authors Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever say that while women may indeed be the victims of external forces, they also to some extent may suffer from their own inability, unwillingness or aversion to negotiate or make demands. In fact, men negotiate four times as frequently as women, and get better results. Men are much more apt to make demands and ask for benefits, pay increases and so forth. Men make more money not necessarily because the system is overtly discriminatory - though it well may be - but because men demand more. The book tends to belabor its point, and sometimes the evidence does not seem as well-presented as it might have been, but We found that it sheds useful light on a knotty social problem. Perhaps it will spur more women to fight - or to continue to fight - on their own behalf.
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Because theyre not dissatisfied with what they have and not sure they deserve more, women often settle for less. &quote;
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Rather than thinking about their value in the marketplace, they instead focus more narrowly on what they need. &quote;
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Instead of publicizing their accomplishments, they hope that hard work alone will earn them the recognition and rewards they deserve. Instead of expressing interest in new opportunities as they arise, they bide their time, assuming that they will be invited to participate if their participation is wanted. &quote;
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