The Art of Courtly Love (Records of Civilization: Sources & Studies) [Englisch] [Taschenbuch]

In one of the sets of rules for lovers set forth by Capellanus he states that "No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons". This would justify romantic relationships of which women were otherwise deprived. Before modern times, love was rarely a factor in choosing a spouse, and yet it is perhaps the strongest force that drives mankind. Capellanus both acknowledges and rationalizes the power love holds over men and women alike. The path to true love is never easy, and the rules of courtly love would have it that where there is love there, too, is suffering. It is by his great distress that the beloved can see how greatly the lover loves. Although love that suffers chastely and from afar is held in esteem, Capellanus also says that kisses and embraces are "indications that love is to follow" and should not be overdone if the lover is not sincere. This seems to acknowledge the human need for sexual action to follow seduction. Appropriate action with gifts and flattery is described by Capellanus in his dialogs for seducing the beloved. Care must be taken in the choice of gifts, since by the rules of courtly love exchange of valuable objects debases the relationship and lovers may only accept those "little gifts" "useful for the care of the person" or "pleasing to look at" as long as there is no "avarice" involved. This rule led to the carrying by knights of tokens or "favors"--gifts of their ladies--in tournaments throughout the Middle Ages. Seduction has four steps according to Capellanus: first should come the offer of service (or if by a lady the giving of hope to the suitor), followed by the granting of kisses and the embrace--in which a couple may even lie down together nude, having no actual sexual congress, with no blame attached. If the final fourth step is taken, yielding to sexual relations, the lover is committed and can not withdraw from the relationship with honor for any less reason than a seriously dishonorable action on the part of his or her partner. These elements of courtly love appear again and again in literature of the Middle Ages from Chaucer's "Knight's Tale" to Malory's Morte D'Arthur.

Perhaps the most interesting influence in Capellanus' life is that of Eleanor of Aquitaine, queen of England and wife to King Henry II. Eleanor was already instrumental in the production of early courtly romances, especially the Arthurian tales. Wace dedicated his "Brut" to her, Thomas of Britian wrote his "Tristram" at her instigation and Chretien de Troyes wrote his Lancelot romances from material given him by her daughter Marie. Eleanor's life reads much like one of these romances. Duchess of Aquitaine, she married Louis, the king of France, at a young age, and produced two daughters Marie and Alix. She met Henry II, six years her junior, before he became king of England and then divorced Louis, on a consanguinarity technicality, to marry him. The rumor was that she and Henry, like Lancelot and Guinevere, met secretly while she was still legally married to Louis. When Henry later tired of her she again took up regency of the Aquitaine for her son Richard, and with her daughter Marie held liberal and literary courts where troubadours sang and courtiers waited upon ladies. Together Eleanor and Marie set a standard of chivalrous manners that changed the behavior of all knighthood. As a pastime these highborn ladies held "courts of love" wherein they tested the behavior of lovers, by the standards set in Capellanus' treatise, vindicating those they found to be "true lovers" and pronouncing penances for those found lacking. If not for the influence of the strong minded Marie de Champagne and the formidable Eleanor--women who wanted more of love than the usual marriage of convenience--Capellanus might have been relegated to the obscurity of the Church's proscribed text list, and our standards of romance might be very different today.

For example, in the section "What persons are fit for love," Capellanus says that "Age is a bar, because after the sixtieth year in a man and the fiftieth in a woman...passion cannot develop into love..." The conventional wisdom holds that most people did not live much past 40 in those days. Evidently Capellanus ran across a few people in their 50s and 60s, in addition to his encounters with nuns. (You will have to read the book to find out more)