It seems to me that you are the first man this planet has ever known who really understands women and accepts them. Please comment.
I have told you that a woman is to be loved, not understood. That is the first understanding.
Life is so mysterious that our hands cannot reach to its heights, our eyes cannot look into its deepest mystery. Understanding any expression of existence—men or women or trees or animals or birds—is the function of science, not of a mystic. I am not a scientist. To me, science itself is a mystery, and now scientists have started to recognize it. They are dropping their old, stubborn, superstitious attitude that one day they will know all that is to be known.
With Albert Einstein the whole history of science has taken a very different route because the more he went into the deepest core of matter, the more he became puzzled. All logic was left behind, all rationality was left behind. You cannot dictate to existence, because it does not follow your logic. Logic is man-made. There was a point in Albert Einstein’s life when he remembers that he was wavering about whether to insist on being rational … but that would be foolish. It would be human, but not intelligent. Even if you insist on logic, on rationality, existence is not going to change according to your logic; your logic has to change according to existence. And the deeper you go, existence becomes more and more mysterious. A point comes when you have to leave logic and rationality and just listen to nature. I call it the ultimate understanding—but not in the ordinary sense of understanding. You know it, you feel it, but there is no way to say it.
Man is a mystery, woman is a mystery, everything that exists is a mystery—and all our efforts to figure it out are going to fail.
I am reminded of a man who was purchasing in a toy shop a present for his son for Christmas. He was a well-known mathematician, so naturally the shopkeeper brought out a jigsaw puzzle. The mathematician tried … it was a beautiful puzzle. He tried and tried and tried and started perspiring. It was becoming awkward. The customers and the salesmen and the shopkeeper were all watching, and he was not able to bring the puzzle to a solution. Finally he dropped the idea and he shouted at the shopkeeper: “I am a mathematician and if I cannot solve this jigsaw puzzle, how do you think my small boy will be able to?”
The shopkeeper said, “You don’t understand. It is made in such a way that nobody can solve it—mathematician or no mathematician.”
The mathematician asked, “But why is it made in this way?”
The shopkeeper said, “It is made in this way so that the boy from the very beginning starts learning that life cannot be solved, cannot be understood.”
You can live it, you can rejoice in it, you can become one with the mystery, but the idea of understanding as an observer is not at all possible.
I don’t understand myself. The greatest mystery to me is myself. But a few clues I can give to you:
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions that your wife asks you for nothing.
The key to happiness: You may speak of love and tenderness and passion, but real ecstasy is discovering you haven’t lost your keys after all.
Women begin by resisting a man’s advances and end by blocking his retreat.
If you want to change a woman’s mind, agree with her.
If you want to know what a woman really means, look at her—don’t listen to her.
The lady walked up to the policeman and said, “Officer, that man on the corner is annoying me.”
“I have been watching the whole time,” said the cop, “and that man wasn’t even looking at you.”
“Well,” said the woman, “isn’t that annoying?”
The romantic young man turned to the beautiful young girl in his bed and asked, “Am I the first man you ever made love to?”
She thought for a moment and then said, “You could be—I have a terrible memory for faces.”
Everything is mysterious: It is better to enjoy it rather than trying to understand it. Ultimately the man who goes on trying to understand life proves to be a fool, and the man who enjoys life becomes wise and goes on enjoying life, because he becomes more and more aware of the mysterious that surrounds us.
The greatest understanding is to know that nothing can be understood, that all is mysterious and miraculous. To me this is the beginning of religiousness in your life.
Would you please explain what the real differences between men and women are?
Most of the differences between men and women are because of thousands of years of conditioning; they are not fundamental to nature. But there are a few differences which give them unique beauty, individuality. Those differences can be counted very easily.
One is that the woman is capable of producing life; man is not. In that way he is inferior, and that inferiority has played a great role in the domination of women by men. The inferiority complex works in this way: It pretends to be superior—to deceive oneself and to deceive the whole world. So man down the ages has been trying to destroy the woman’s genius, talents, capacities, so that he can prove himself superior—to himself and to the world.
Because the woman gives birth, for nine months or more she remains absolutely vulnerable, dependent on man. Men have exploited this in a very ugly way. And that is a physiological difference; it makes no difference at all. The psychology of the woman is corrupted by man telling her things which are not true, making her a slave to man, reducing her to a secondary citizen of the world. And the reason for that was that he is muscularly more powerful. But the muscular power is part of animality. If that is going to decide the superiority, then many animals are more muscular than a man.
But the real differences are certainly there, and we have to search for them behind the pile of invented differences. One difference I see is that a woman is more capable of love than a man is. A man’s love is more or less a physical necessity; a woman’s love is not. It is something greater and higher, it is a spiritual experience. That’s why the woman is monogamous and man is polygamous. The man would like to have all the world’s women, and still he would not be satisfied. His discontent is infinite.
The woman can be satisfied with one love, utterly fulfilled, because she does not look at the body of the man, she looks at his innermost qualities. She does not fall in love with a man who has a beautiful muscular body, she falls in love with a man who has charisma—something indefinable, but immensely attractive—who has a mystery to be explored. She wants her man not to be just a man, but an adventure in discovering consciousness.
The man is very weak as far as sexuality is concerned; he can have only one orgasm. The woman is infinitely superior; she can have multiple orgasms. And this has been one of the most troublesome matters. The man’s orgasm is local, confined to his genitals. The woman’s orgasm is total, not confined to the genitals. Her whole body is sexual, and she can have a beautiful orgasmic experience a thousandfold bigger, deeper, more enriching, more nourishing than a man can have.
But her whole body has to be aroused, and the tragedy is that man is not interested in it. He has never been interested in it. He has used the woman as a sex machine just to relieve his own sexual tensions. Within seconds he is finished, and by the...