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The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting (Englisch) Taschenbuch – 15. September 2006


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The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting + The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self + The Truth Will Set You Free
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Produktinformation

  • Taschenbuch: 228 Seiten
  • Verlag: W W Norton & Co; Auflage: 1 Reprint (15. September 2006)
  • Sprache: Englisch
  • ISBN-10: 0393328635
  • ISBN-13: 978-0393328639
  • Größe und/oder Gewicht: 1,4 x 0,2 x 2,1 cm
  • Durchschnittliche Kundenbewertung: 5.0 von 5 Sternen  Alle Rezensionen anzeigen (4 Kundenrezensionen)
  • Amazon Bestseller-Rang: Nr. 147.926 in Fremdsprachige Bücher (Siehe Top 100 in Fremdsprachige Bücher)

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Produktbeschreibungen

Pressestimmen

"In this book [Miller's] thesis is that childhood abuse, even when the parents don't know that they are being abusive, is held in the body and damages health and life expectancy as children grow up." Victoria Neumark, The Times Education Supplement"

Synopsis

World-renowned psychoanalyst, Alice Miller has devoted a lifetime to studying how the cruelties inflicted on children cripple them as adults. In this new work, Miller goes further, investigating the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body - be it cancer, stroke or other debilitating illnesses. Using the experiences of her patients along with biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness. Never one to shy away from controversy, Miller urges society as a whole to jettison its belief in the Fourth Commandment and not to extend forgiveness to parents whose tyrannical child-rearing methods have resulted in unhappy, and often ruined, adult lives. This empowering book will enable readers to come to terms with their repressed emotions and break the cycle of violence.

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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen

Von Ella Gray am 7. Juni 2014
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
Personal, compelling, great style, and hard to put down, hard to forget. Very enlightening.
The author has bravely tackled a topic that has unleashed the wrath of people whose very own suspicions scare the hell out of them --that author Miller is probably right.

The case studies are amazing and well-researched. I'm sharing this book!
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Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
This book is absolutely outstanding. If you are not in denial, not still idealizing your parents and are ready to face any abuse (mental or physical) then it's an eye opening book. I have been going through the process of healing for the last ten years, and even though I have known a lot of what is in this book, there were new insights, that made me realize more things about myself and remind me that the guilt we feel is not because of that you are "bad", but because you were succumbed to the circumstances that were beyond your power when you were a kid. Highly recommended!!!
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Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
... beschreibt Alice Miller, wie Kindheitsverletzungen, die verleugnet werden müssen, sich das ganze Leben lang, nicht nur psychisch ungünstig, sondern auch in den Körperfunktionen (Atmung, Verdauung etc.) krankmachend auswirken können. Interessant fand ich den Bezug auf das - falschverstandene - 4.Gebot, 'Ehre deine Eltern', die dir u.U. sehr weh getan haben! Wenn z.B. jemand sagt 'die Ohrfeigen meines Vaters haben mir nicht geschadet', dann leugnet er die Demütigung und den Schmerz, seine Verletzung. Die Autorin bezieht sich auf Studien die nachweisen, dass unser Körper alles was wir erlebt haben, genauestens erfasst und erinnert. Wenn mit therapeutischer Hilfestellung Emotionen der Kindheit nicht länger geleugnet werden müssen, sondern die eigenen Eltern in realistischem Licht gesehen werden dürfen, kann der Mensch aufhören, seine schlechten Erfahrungen blind an seine Kinder weiterzugeben oder sie zu seinem Schaden auszuleben. Viele der Gedanken sind in Alice Millers anderen Büchern ebenfalls enthalten. Sie ist m.E. eine der Besten ihres Fachs.
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Von roxannekrf am 6. Januar 2012
Format: Taschenbuch
This book explained a lot to me about the long-term effects of child abuse and how it continues to affect the health in later years.
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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 55 Rezensionen
239 von 248 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Exciting, life-changing reading experience 30. Juli 2006
Von Barbara Rogers - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
Alice Miller's "The Body Never Lies" is a provocation for those who are intent on denying that there is a relationship between how children are being treated and how they, later as adults, live their lives. They will fight against this book with those sad beliefs, which they learned in their childhoods and never questioned or left behind. But for those, for whom these connections are a fact and who are willing to explore their own past, their own lives and childhood suffering, this book provides great relief, even liberation.

On her life journey of research and writing, Alice Miller has gained great inner freedom and strength. In `The Body Never Lies', she courageously questions traditional morality and inspires us to face the often life long pain that children suffer through their parents. Her profound insights into this vital relationship create a truthful vision of man and his coercion to be destructive and self-destructive. Her visionary humanity leads the way into a new era, where the source of needless human suffering is movingly and powerfully recognized.

Like in an invisible jail, the fourth command confines many people into untruthful relationships with their parents, from which they often suffer. Abused and disrespected in childhood, they strive, still during their adult lives, to reach and even please cruel parents, who do not wish to understand and support them, who do not care about their well-being.

As long as they are under the spell of this command, they also often suffer in similar ways in other close relationships, denying their truth and reality like they had to as children with their parents. But there is a powerful witness to the suffering we endure through hypocritical, painful relationships--our body. Although we are trained to follow those moralistic expectations to honor our parents, no matter how they have treated us as children or treat us now as adults--the body refuses to do so. Again and again, it tries to communicate the tragic experiences that we carry hidden inside, in the unconscious. Alice Miller invites us to listen to and understand our bodies and ourselves with love by moving away from the destructive command that we must honor those who cause us harm and hurt us.
107 von 108 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
This book changed my life 17. März 2006
Von Explorer - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe Verifizierter Kauf
After coasting through the past ten years in a fog of depression and unfulfilling relationships, I started seeing a counselor who recommended this book to me. I'm not exaggerating when I say it changed my life. Alice Miller argues that as children, we are often instructed to "honor" our parents and win their love by suppressing our genuine feelings - especially the hurt and anger we naturally feel in response to abuse. Society reinforces this belief by idealizing parents and discouraging us from telling the truth about what we experienced as children. However, this suppression has a poisonous effect on the body and mind (and society as a whole). As much as we try to hide those feelings, they make themselves known through various kinds of suffering, both emotional and physical.

Miller argues that once we are allowed to give voice to our true feelings and offer some compassion to ourselves - rather than the facade we have created to please others, namely our parents - then that real self no longer has to cry for attention through the suffering of our bodies and minds. This turned out to be very true for me. I feel that I can now be honest with myself and others without fearing rejection and loss of love. I highly recommend this book and Miller's other offerings to anyone dealing with depression, childhood abuse, or feelings of general emptiness and dissatisfaction.

**After recently re-reading this book, I would probably remove one star from my rating due to Miller's pure speculation in Part I, in which she deconstructs the writings and life stories of famous authors and artists. This section can also be slow and might be difficult for some readers to get through.

I also wish that she (or the translator) had broadened her definition of abuse. She frequently uses the term "beatings" to summarize the harm children can suffer at the hands of their parents. But mental and emotional abuse can be just as detrimental to a child's development and self-image, and readers who experienced such should not discount the impact of their own experiences. However, Miller's overall argument is so powerful that I can't help but recommend the book despite its flaws.
84 von 86 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Exciting, life-changing reading experience 4. Mai 2005
Von Barbara Rogers - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
Alice Miller's "The Body Never Lies" is a provocation for those who are intent on denying that there is a relationship between how children are being treated and how they, later as adults, live their lives. They will fight against this book with those sad beliefs, which they learned in their childhoods and never questioned or left behind. But for those, for whom these connections are a fact and who are willing to explore their own past, their own lives and childhood suffering, this book provides great relief, even liberation.

On her life journey of research and writing, Alice Miller has gained great inner freedom and strength. In `The Body Never Lies', she courageously questions traditional morality and inspires us to face the often life long pain that children suffer through their parents. Her profound insights into this vital relationship create a truthful vision of man and his coercion to be destructive and self-destructive. Her visionary humanity leads the way into a new era, where the source of needless human suffering is movingly and powerfully recognized.

Like in an invisible jail, the fourth command confines many people into untruthful relationships with their parents, from which they often suffer. Abused and disrespected in childhood, they strive, still during their adult lives, to reach and even please cruel parents, who do not wish to understand and support them, who do not care about their well-being.

As long as they are under the spell of this command, they also often suffer in similar ways in other close relationships, denying their truth and reality like they had to as children with their parents. But there is a powerful witness to the suffering we endure through hypocritical, painful relationships--our body. Although we are trained to follow those moralistic expectations to honor our parents, no matter how they have treated us as children or treat us now as adults--the body refuses to do so. Again and again, it tries to communicate the tragic experiences that we carry hidden inside, in the unconscious. Alice Miller invites us to listen to and understand our bodies and ourselves with love by moving away from the destructive command that we must honor those who cause us harm and hurt us.
86 von 91 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
The siren for early abuse 8. März 2007
Von Fred Worth - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
I have been reading the author's books since the early 80's. Mrs Miller has some very important things to say about what most people consider to be a "normal" childhood experience. Being older I experienced much of the more extreme examples in her new book and I can attest to the debillitating affects she describes. She writes very well and the translators in all of her books are very good.

My only criticism is that she is still only writing about the problem and offers no solutions. I felt sad that she knows exactly what I went through but can not offer me any help beyond the knowing that I am not alone in my experience. But her purpose is sounding the alarm so I can not fault her for that.
49 von 51 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
A decisive new chapter 8. Mai 2005
Von Flow - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
I feel that this book is actually stronger than Alice Miller's last two efforts ("Breaking Down The Wall of Silence" and "The Truth Will Set you Free.") I have read all of her books thus far, and was very delighted to page through this new encounter. I have never seen the concept that our emotions, and the 'scars' left by abuse don't simply exist in a little part of our brains; but are found in all the cells of our body, and that in this inextricable link, illnesses can occur when things go wrong. I need only to look back to the way my own body has reacted to deception and cruelty to see how true this is.

In her chapter titled 'Carousel,' she revisits, in a way, the fascinating passage in 'Banished Knowledge' where she discussed coming across the poisonous story of little children and the accusative santa clause. This is, in my feeling, one of the best assets of her prose; the ability to make links based on a single experience. The case histories of authors she provides are not the in-depth ones of her earlier books; and indeed, that is exactly what she intended; to spark the readers interest in these biographies and how the writers experienced their abuse which led to the destruction of their bodies.

The chapter she wrote on anorexia was actually very enlightening; she really said something important in those pages, and I think her 'fictional diary' was really effective. The relationship to food and emotional nourishment seems quite valid. After reading her book, I really do agree with the premises that "the body never lies," and "deception kills love." I can see more clearly that sacrificing oneself towards the 'benefit' of one's parents is really a destructive, black hole that people who fall in can never truly meet with any form of life or vitality unless they escape it.
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