The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Sears Parenting Library) [Englisch] [Taschenbuch]

This book has had a profound positive influence on our lives. When our first child was born, my husband and I were at our wit's end with this infant who always cried, always wanted to be held, never "just fell asleep" (had to be nursed and rocked), always refused a bottle (exclusively breastfed). I found myself, when he was only 1 month old, desperately searching parenting books for help. Into my life came The Baby Book. What revelations! Attachment parenting! Wear your baby! Sleep with your baby! Breastfeed your baby! These were all the things my baby insisted upon! And Dr. Sears said it was OK! I had been trying to make my infant fit into the mainstream parenting mold and he didn't fit. No doubt about it, without Dr. Sears' advice mother, father, and baby would have continued on a very unhappy course. With the guidance of this book, we have raised this high-needs baby to be a happy, well-adjusted child.

What makes "The Baby Book" different from many other equally comprehensive baby care books is the authors unrelenting advocacy of what they call "attachment parenting". The Sears' claims for "attachment parenting" are hyperbolic and the reader's reaction to many of their assertions may well range from skepticism to alarm. The Sears' identify the 5 AP concepts as 1) connecting with the baby early, 2) reading and responding to your baby's cues, 3) breastfeeding, 4) wearing your baby and 5) sharing sleep with your baby. According to Sears, adherence to these principles will "improve behavior, development and intelligence." New fathers who had hoped to play an active role with the new baby will find that their role is different than they had hoped: According to Sears, "[T]he father's role is to create a supportive environment that allows the mother to devote *her* energy to the baby" and "Father's job is to nurture the mother so that *she* can nurture the baby" (Emphasis added). On a section regarding bottlefeeding a breastfed child, Sear suggests that the mother enlist the help of an experienced bottleffeding grandmother or bottlefeeding friend to give the bottle--the possibility that Dad might want to feed his child is curiously omitted. But perhaps not so curious after all--Dad is given pretty short shrift throughout the book, particularly in the chapter on "Nighttime Parenting". "The Baby Book" is full of paragraphs that begin "Studies show" --unfortunately there are no citations to any of these studies and the lack of citations leaves the reader wondering. For example, at one point he writes of a study that contrasted 2 groups of children, one "securely attached" and one not. The reader might well wonder how "securely attached" was defined and determined. This question crops up throughout the book,particularly when Sears speaks of his own "surveys"-- his biases are so evident thoughout the book that it is hard to much stock in the objectivity of any of his "surveys." The zealousness of the authors in their advocacy of breastfeeding is obvious, however it doesn't excuse their discussion of bottlefeeding. Despite spending 72 pages of the book discussing the benefits of breastfeeding, the Sears cannot resist pening up the (extremely short) bottlefeeding chapter with this comment: "Do infants thrive on formula? Formula fed infants appear to grow normally, but the question is not only do infants grow but do they thrive? Thriving takes growth a step further: growing and developing to an infant's fullest potential. This is an unanswered, perhaps unanswerable question." This is an astonishing statement. Has Sears really never seen an infant who has "thrived" on formula? Amazing if true, since I personally know of quite a few. And the "unanswerable" nature of his rhetorical question is one that can be applied to many of Sears' assertions. One of the most troubling sections in the book concerns mothers with HIV and breastfeeding. This section is buried in the back of the book, instead of included, as one would expect, in the chapters on breastfeeding. Sears acknowledges that HIV can be passed through breastmilk , but then states that there have been cases where babies have not contracted the virus through breastfeeding. Instead of an unequivocal NO to breastfeeding when the mother is infected with HIV, he simply concludes that the mother should discuss it with her doctor. The chapter on "Nighttime Parenting" is predictable. The Sears advocate what they call "shared sleeping." They have little patience with concerns that many parents consider to be significant--inability to sleep with a baby in bed, the affect of co-sleeping on the couple's relationship, etc. As always, a false dichotomy is set up between the responsive "attached" mother and the "detached" mother. The Sears apparently cannot countenance that it is possible for parents to be very attached to their children but to also want them to sleep on their own because they truly believe that it is best for their children. For that matter, the dichotomy of "attached" parent v. "detached" parent is set up, both explicitly and implicity, in just about every discussion of the Sears 5 attachment "concenpts". "The Baby Book" also raises a lot of questions. The Sears claims that when a mother breastfeeds, "wears" (with a sling), and shares sleep with her baby, that the baby will inevitable grow up to be a more empathetic, sensitive and caring adult. If so, then how to explain the genocidal tragedies of recent years in Rwanda, Liberia, Somalia and other countries where the vast majority of babies are bfreastfed, worn and slept with? Shouldn't it be obvious that there are many other factors that are vastly more significant than how a baby is fed and where it sleeps? And aren't there millions of happy, healthy children (and adults) who are very attached to their parents and families, despite not being raised by the Sears AP tenets? Unfortunately, these are questions that the Sears apparently cannot discuss objectively.

As a first time mom, I borrowed this book from a friend. I quickly returned it. I was unable to breastfeed for physical reasons and this book did not make me feel comfortable about that issue. I slept with my baby for his first 5 months, but I think there are limits to everything. Dr Sears dosnt seem to believe that. Its important to set limitations. The world is full of them. The friend I borrowed the book from, has a 2 yr old who sleeps with her and her husband (as suggested by the Sears) and they are not too comfortable with their situation anymore. However, the child will NOT sleep in her own bed, and her mother has to lay down with her for naps. My son is 19 mo old and sleeps in his crib with no complaints. I think the Sears have forgotten that Mom is important too and if she isnt at peace and able to have some time to herself as well as with her husband, there will be times when she is not 100% "there" for her child. I suggest Dr Brazelton's "Touchpoints" a guide that encourages parents to trust in themselves and the choices they make.