Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm [Englisch] [Gebundene Ausgabe]

I love this book. It's taught me how having my own desires, and speaking them, beyond the vanilla, standard guy-pleasing "I want you"...is okay. Is not going to...frighten my partner away, or make me feel like a freak for having my own desires out in the open.

And, it's make me understand that a man will truly focus on me - just me - for a while, and that's really okay! I always got nervous when a man went down on me...I figured he wanted me to hurry up so he could have his turn, that me must be pretending to be enjoying it, and it just stressed me out. Which makes it REALLY hard to come (so, I became a good actress).

It sounds silly written like that, but I've censored my own sexual wants and needs for so long...the concept and practice of OM is really, truly wonderful. Wanting to be touched now, in this way, is okay for me to feel, and okay for me to say.

Finally, I'm learning that there's no reason to cover up my desires and my needs with embarrassment, thinking I should hide my desires and focus on pleasing my male partner.

As with many women, my early sexual experiences were (very very) not good. I lost my virginity via rape, as a teen, during an assault by a stranger, and I guess I never really recovered. Sex was something I did because my boyfriends, then my husband, wanted/needed it. Over the years it transitioned from very scary (even with my kind, safe boyfriend) to usually very enjoyable, but I never learned to speak up and say what I wanted. I dated some great guys who wanted to please me, but I couldn't get past my own issues to tell them about my own fantasies, or even something simple, like to please "move a little to the left" as they touched me.

Nicole...Thank you.

I love that this book redefines orgasm as the state when your body is ignited, not just the point of climax. Nicole said in the book that if you can understand this new idea of orgasm, it will change your life. And yes, it changed my life. My sex changed when the 'climax' was no longer something that I needed to hurry up to get to but that I can actually slow down and enjoy the whole thing. There's nothing wrong with me, just like there's nothing wrong with the millions of women who can't achieve 'climax' each time they have sex. Wow, if feels empowering to know I'm perfectly normal. It's awesome fun to try the exercises she described in the book. And her chapters on understanding men/women shed a new light on the opposite sex for me AND it helped me understand myself better. Thank you for an amazing, life-changing book!

First off an introduction to what the book is. Partly it's an introduction to the philosophy of Slow Sex (the sexual counterpoint to Slow Food, i.e. the opposite of Fast Food Sex), partly it's an introduction to the practice of Orgasmic Meditation, partly it's a celebration of Female Sexuality (which the book claims pretty reasonably is a little more naturally bent toward Slow Sex).

The reason I gave the book such a high rating is because I think the ideas of Slow Sex are great (even though I'm a man who enjoys a good hard bang like the any other man), because I have found that slowing down and bringing more space into my sex really has helped me enjoy it more. This book does a solid job of representing those ideas, but more importantly than that it doesn't just talk about those ideas. The book gives us something to do to put those ideas into practice, and that something is Orgasmic Meditation or OM. The author, Nicole Daedone, hasn't just given us an easy sugar coated formulaic fix, she's given us a practice, something that will likely take work but might actually work, and that's something special.

The book describes Orgasmic Meditation as a practice like meditation or yoga where a man (or a woman) deliberately and mindfully strokes the clitoris of his or her partner (although at the end of the book she also describes Male OMing where a man is stroked). This is an opportunity to practice connecting to your own body as well as your partner.

The book is organized as such:

1 The Art of Slow Sex
2 The Three Ingredients for Slow Sex
3 How to OM
4 Troubleshooting
5 The Ten-Day OM Starter Program
6 What Men should Know about Women
7 What Women Should Know about Men
8 The Four-Month Orgasm

The format gives a good intro to the concept of Slow Sex as well as instructs you on how to OM in simple and clear language. The book is written in a way that's fun and warm and every once in a while delivers a nugget of wisdom like:

"Whatever you do, make sure you're doing it out of desire. It's the only compass you've been given in this world, and you can trust it. It may not lead you where you thought you were going, but it will never lead you astray."

Since reading the book I've been able to take up OMing and it's been great. The book gave me the instructions I needed to get started (although it was a challenge to get started even with their Troubleshooting Guide). OMing really feels like a solid way for me to improve my experience of sex. I'm also looking at other resources from OneTaste now.

I also appreciated the sections at the end on What Men should know about women. That being said, I can't say I didn't have any qualms with the book. The book is pretty female focused so at times I felt bored or even a little slighted by the female centered narrative, however more often than not it was a welcome foray into the world of the opposite sex. Also, it got a little bit preachy for me at times when it talked about changing my life. I do get on some level that I can change my life by making it more sensual, slow, and artistic but it felt a little forced at times.

Now given those couple qualms, I've got to say that I really can't appreciate enough the courage and the insight of the author, Nicole, in presenting us with a compelling vision of our our sex lives can be better. She's provided me with something that I think will stick with me and change my life for the better, and any book that does for me is worth it's weight in gold (or maybe in orgasms in this case).