Rid of My Disgrace (Re:Lit) [Kindle Edition]

This review first appeared at TGC Reviews [[...]], an online publication of The Gospel Coalition.

In a fallen world where unspeakable evil occurs, the church must be a place that shines the hope of the gospel into the darkness. One dark corner of our world is sexual assault. The statistics are astonishing. One in four women and one in six men have been or will be victims of sexual assault. The effects are horrific. And the world is not short of remedies: self-help, self-love, and self-heal. Unfortunately for the victims, these answers are "horrible news."

Justin Holcomb, a pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington, and his wife, Lindsey Holcomb, equip the church to rise and meet the challenge of helping victims of sexual assault, not by the empty hope of self-help, but by grace, redemption, and restoration in the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ.

Let me be up front with the matter. I really liked this book. Pastors should read it, and victims of abuse will be encouraged by the authors' honesty and care. So to briefly comment on the book's content and its usefulness to pastors, counselors, and victims, let me give four brief reflections on its value to the local church's ministry to the afflicted.

First, Rid Of My Disgrace deals honestly and directly with sexual assault. It presents a clear and full definition, giving victims, churches and pastors clarity on what constitutes sexual assault. They describe in vivid detail numerous effects the assault brings upon a person. Victims will feel like they are not alone, while pastors and counselors will have an invaluable resource for learning what is going on inside the victim when their own words cannot express the inner turmoil. We need an honest and direct book because "surveys and studies indicate that most people know almost nothing about the dynamics of sexual violence and have little or no experience in dealing with it."

Second, Rid of My Disgrace displays the prevalence of sexual assault and its effect on the victims. "One in four women and one in six men will be sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime. These statistics are probably underestimates . . . every two minutes someone in the United States is sexually assaulted." These numbers are overwhelmingly high, even considering the problem of under-reporting, and it knows no boundaries of "color, race, religion, nationality, lifestyle, sexual preference, education, class, occupation, ability, or disability." No matter where we live or minister, there are hurting people all around us, even on Sunday mornings.

The only thing more sobering than the numbers is its effect. Sexual assault can affect every aspect of your life: "your faith, your daily attitudes and emotions, your-self image, your relationships, and your sexuality." Our churches, along with their pastors, ministers, staffs, and volunteers, can discover new avenues for gospel proclamation and transformation if we can begin to grasp the prevalence of sexual assault and its devastating effects.

Third, Rid Of My Disgrace is gospel-centered and immensely practical. The foundation for healing from the first pages is the gospel. The Holcombs never stop returning to it, continually pointing people to the grace found in Christ alone. God's way of redeeming his people was through Christ's suffering on the cross, but the cross is also where our disgrace is transformed. This a practical theology of grace applied to the disgraceful experiences and effects of sexual assault. Our counseling ministry will have this book on hand and will be used in our training seminars classes.

Fourth, God is glorified in every chapter. One of the phrases you hear at Mars Hill Church is "It's all about Jesus," and this book is no exception, as Jesus is exalted on every page. God's grace, his "one-way, unconditional love expressed through, and founded on, the person and redemptive work of Jesus Christ" is marveled at from cover to cover. Even if you have never been sexually assaulted or have never ministered to someone who has, this book will cause you to contemplate the depths of the riches of the grace of God in the person and work of Jesus.

Sin is devastating. Maybe more than we realize most days. But the wretched nature of sexual assault gives us a glimpse of sin's deep darkness. However, the Holcombs show that even if sin goes deeper than you could ever imagine, God's grace goes deeper still.

This is a well prepared book by Justin and Lindsey. The book has a multiple audience. It is definitely for those who are in a struggle to overcome the sexual improprieties of their past - but it is also an important book for those who minister to or counsel this group of people. I have been a Pastor for almost 30 years and have found this book the best, biblical based treatment of the problem. The 1st part of the book is especially helpful for those reading it who intend to be counselors of various kinds toward sexually abused men and women. We have a very active counseling ministry at our church and this book will become a guide for them to be even more helpful than they have in the past. The book also alerts those who may not know just how large an issue this is. The statistic that is most helpful is that 1 in 4 women have been raped and 1 in 6 men have been sexually abused. The authors then suggest that this is one of the most unreported crimes in the United States at least. I have a friend in law enforcement who deals directly with these sorts of crimes and he says definitely the statistics are very understated. That means that those of us who deal with larger audiences (congregations) are speaking to many men and women who need to hear this message and know where they can get help. I am promoting the purchase of this book as often as I can. I also appreciate the solutions the book offers. The series of stories by people who have been abused are heart-wrenching. I have been brought to tears reading them. But each story is followed up with clear Biblical teaching and easy to understand applications for the the reader to grasp. I am not aware of any other book that could compete with the way this book handles the problem and solutions. Anyone who reads this book will be given the information they need to help others or be helped and most important - the reader will understand how large a problem sexual violence is in our society (in our churches) today.

One if four women and one in six men (statistically) will be sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Which means, that if there are four women and six men who read this post, 1/5 of them will have been, or will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. That's a staggering amount of people. If you're like me, you're easily left having a vague notion of the horror of this sin, baffled with a broken heart for the victims of sexual assault, and wondering, "How can Jesus help these people?!" Jesus says he comes to heal the broken, surely if anybody can be described as broken, it's the victims of sexual assault.

Justin Holcomb and Lindsey Holcomb step along side us in Rid of My Disgrace and help us see the glorious power of Christ to give hope and healing for victims of sexual assault.

I'll be honest, I read this book backwards. I know, authors have their order of chapters for a reason, but I was far more concerned with how they ended the book then how they began it. Far too often people begin with good intentions of helping the broken, but end in shady places. The Holcomb's never even come close to this temptation. In part three of Rid of My Disgrace, "Grace Accomplished", they end, essentially, with a Biblical Theology of how shame and grace interact throughout the Bible and culminate in the person and work of Jesus Christ. They do this to help victims of sexual assault find their sin's place (both sins done against them and their own sins against God) in the story of God's accomplished redemption plan in Jesus Christ.

There are two things to note here: 1) The Holcombs do not play games with psycologizing healing for sexual assault victims. They come into the issue with the Gospel in hand to offer Jesus to victims. 2) Along these lines, the book is literally littered with Scripture. They have a very interesting footnoting/endnoting system where all passages of Scripture quoted or referenced are footnoted on every page, while works and authors are endnoted in the back. As I did a scan through the book, they hardly have a page or two without scripture quoted or referenced helpfully at the bottom. This means that those who come to this book for help will be immediately directed to God's Book, where they will find his grace for healing and hope.

The rest of the book - you know, that part at the beginning that I circled around and read out of order - is equally as helpful as the ending. In part one, they simply open up the issues involved in understanding what sexual assault is (chapter 1) and what its effects are (chapter 2). They define sexual assault, parse the words in what they mean, and help you understand how it applies to victims.

In part two they work through case studies. Each of these stories are heartbreaking simply by their reality. They open each section of "Grace Applied" with a person's story of being the victim of sexual assault, and then discuss the particular effect that sin had upon that person and how Jesus Christ is not only acquainted with that sin, but is the answer to its need of healing. They work through denial, distorted self-image, shame, guilt, anger, and despair. All conditions we are all aware of, but each subject in the hands of the Holcombs is skillfully met with grace.

I have been deeply struck by how well the Holcombs have sought to understand the victims of sexual assault. They do not trivialize their suffering. They do not push it aside. But they also do not let it loom so large that its unanswerable or left uncared for. Through the course of the book, you see the eyes of Christ weeping for sin, and the hand of Christ offering healing for the needy.

I heartily recommend this book to all Christians in our day. I give the only slight caution of recommending it to younger readers (15-18 y/o) simply due to the content of the testimonials in part two. Parents will want to read through those sections first and judge their own children's maturity (or walk through the chapters with them). Otherwise, this book will be an invaluable resource for the church in helping them understand how the Gospel engages this pervasive sin in our day.

To Justin and Lindsey, thank you so much for writing this book. I know it is going to be massively helpful to the people of Christ. What I most deeply appreciated about how you addressed the issue in the book is that you don't shy away from the heart breaking horror of the suffering and evil of sexual assault, but you also don't shy away from Jesus Christ and his Gospel. I saw a firm setting on the Gospel throughout the book that helped my soul grow tender like Christs for the people who are victims of sexual assault. Thank you for this.