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How to Really Love Your Adult Child: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World (Englisch) Taschenbuch – März 2011


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23 von 23 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Review of How to Really Love Your Adult Child 25. März 2011
Von Keiki Hendrix - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
Do our children ever really grow up? In our culture today, parents face several a `new normal' with their adult children.

If you have adult children who have made bad choices, what advice do they give them. Even if they've made good choices, their reality is vastly different than when you were a young adult. How then can we biblically parent our adult children both by our behavior and our instruction?

Take heart. How to Really Love Your Adult Children: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World by Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman offers wise advice and solid biblical instruction to parents dealing with adult children.

Beginning with a profile of an adult child in today's society and moving through red flag indicators and areas of concern, each chapter offers advice to parents of adult children with challenges like success (or heartbreaking failure), commitment and independence (or the lack thereof), facing lifestyle issues (sex and cohabitation.)

This is a needed book. I am the parent of adult children myself. In this changing society, I needed the advice provided here. Why, because the common thread running through all pages of this book was love. We can always learn to love better.

This book takes on some very hard topics. Homosexuality, Heterosexual Cohabitation, Addiction, among them. When each of these topics are addressed, the response of love is encouraged. Even when discussing tough love, the purpose is to make sure the adult child is confident in the bond or relationship with the parent.

Warnings signs are also discussed. Being aware of the symptoms of Depression, ADD, Passive-Aggressive behavior, and many more make the parent of an adult child much knowledgeable and aware.

So what is the most powerful advice I found in this book? It was the example of the parent. A kind, loving, prayed-up parent living out the advice they are offering goes much farther by way of instruction than any school, any book, or any intervention. This what will move your adult child ...

"A by-product of good character is a legacy of stability, when a parent has made good decisions and exhibited clear thinking. Children watch when parents go through tough times and they learn how to handle difficult situations from what they see. An adult child facing tough times will ask `What would Mom and Dad do? How would they think this through? What advice would they seek from others? How would they pray about it?"
- Chapter Ten, Leaving Your Child a Positive Legacy

Buy this book for yourself or a friend. It is wise counsel. Be prepared to contemplate some changes in your own life. I recommend it highly.

Disclaimer
The review copy plus one additional copy of this book was provided by Northfield publishers free of charge. One copy was donated to the library of Westwood Baptist Church and one copy was offered as a promotional giveaway.

Reviewed by: Keiki Hendrix
Reviewed for: Northfield Publishers
19 von 20 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Eye-Opening 22. März 2011
Von C. J. Wallerick - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
I usually read self-help books in sections. I read this from cover to cover. We have our 21 yr old daughter living with us, and there has been so much tension. This book helped me as a parent, HOW to communicate and open up. And also to realize that change doesn't happen overnight, but I've got a good start. Very easy to read and informative. Loved it!
14 von 14 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
From An Adult Child's POV 19. Juni 2011
Von T. Koehn - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
I am not the parent of an adult child, or even a small child for that matter. I just happen to be an adult child, and the sibling of several. I read this more to help me know what to say to the parents I interact with on a daily basis as they talk to me about their adult children.

This book covers most common modern scenarios which would happen with your adult children. The ones who make you proud, the ones who make you not so proud, and all the ones in between. I can't say from a parent's POV, but as an adult child, I think it sounds like reasonable information parents should learn.

FYI you should read the Love Languages books first or at least know what they are talking about or some of the things they say won't make sense.
10 von 10 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Great Read. Effective communication and building relationship with your adult children 9. Februar 2012
Von Mattmurphymswym - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
How to Really Love Your Adult Child is a great book written by Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman (also wrote the Love Language series of books). In this short, yet detailed read, Campbell and Chapman engage a major problem happening not only in the church but in secular society as well. From my experience as a social worker, working across the age spectrum, it is evident that parents often have a difficult time adjusting to life with their children after they have become adults.

They discuss what normal young adulthood is currently looking like and emphasize parental support for their children while maintaining healthy boundaries for those they have reared. They discuss in almost every area the range of emotions and responses that both sides are feeling and reacting to, ranging from defensive to aggressive responses.

Chapman and Campbell also discuss negotiation in several areas, including when children come home after they have left the nest. They do well in breaking apart two groups those who fail to thrive on their own (maybe depressed) and those who come home with a strategy in place. Not only do these authors discuss difficult junctures, but they also discuss the more normal ones, such as empty nest, independence, building an adult relationship, becoming an in-law and a grandparent.

The only concern I have is that this book, while it does talk about drawing that line, seems to minimize how difficult it is to do that sometimes when you already have made choices towards enabling your children. They talk about how to do it, but could spend more time talking about moving around the defense mechanisms that they will face, the hostility, anger, resentment, etc that most likely will come from an overly-dependent child.

I would highly recommend this book for parents who are expecting their kids to leave the house soon, and professionals who come into contact and care for adults and adult children.

I received this book free from Moody Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

If you liked this review, please feel free to check out my other reviews and website at engagingtheshadowsofyouthministry (dot) com
8 von 9 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
not helpful or realistic 28. April 2014
Von Karen Carchidi - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
This book offers advice like "pray with your child" "get them into counseling".
The reality is that if they are troubled, the last thing they want is to pray with you or to be told to go to counseling.
I've found much better information on line about Children Who Won't Grow Up, especially young men seem to be having a hard time these days. Understandably! One good book was "Grown Up Children Who Won't Grow Up".
And talking to others alot! Get counseling for yourself rather than them if they are adults, you can't make them go. Learning to let of of feeling you have to fix and control them. Let them know you are there for them, love them, but don't enable them. Ween them off financial support. Take care of yourself. Keep yourself balanced and don't let anger or fear take over. Set a good example and often they will slowly start to stand on their own two feet and become someone you not only love, but that you actually like. We so often forget how we were when we were young. We don't want our kids to go through what we did. But maybe they need to? Best wishes.
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