The greatest sexual pleasure in a person's lifetime is possible in one's middle and later years, asserts Dr. David Schnarch, when a mature sense of self has been achieved and genuine intimacy is possible with another person. At his Family Health Center in Colorado Dr. Schnarch works with couples in long-term committed relationships who want to get emotionally and sexually closer. In Passionate Marriage Dr. Schnarch shares what he has learned about how couples can--and must--simultaneously break through the sexual and the emotional blocks that hold them back from total satisfaction. He counsels that every sexual exchange, from kissing to daring erotic behaviors, is a picture of an entire relationship--a reflection of how you and your partner feel about yourselves and each other outside the bedroom. This respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide to sexual and emotional fulfillment makes a passionate marriage within the reach of every couple.
Passionate Marriage
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People joke that the start of a couple's marriage means the end of their sex life. David Schnarch, a sex therapist praised by Pepper Schwartz, uses epiphany-laden conversations taken directly from his own marriage and the married couples he sees in practice to help readers defy the myth that marriages are necessarily passionless, and instead prove that the longer a couple has been together, the higher the fireworks can fly. It's especially aimed at older couples who, Schnarch says, are self-actualized and therefore better able to handle intimacy than younger partners. "People have difficulty with intimacy because they're supposed to," he says, and goes on in this inspiring book to combine elements of marriage therapy and sex therapy to bring plenty of practical, fresh ideas to the crowd of mostly vapid relationship books. (Note that despite its title, it's for any emotionally committed couple, not just married folks.)
Schnarch says that a man is more likely to let a relationship suffer in order to hold on to his sense of self, while a woman is more apt to let her identity suffer to help strengthen it. Schnarch gives explicit tips on how to alter this pattern, an essential step he calls "differentiation." He also explains why compromise isn't always the best route to take when conflicts arise. The couples profiled here deal with the usual suspects: uneven sexual desire and initiation, battles about oral sex, self-image problems, the "boondoggle" of trust (both of one's self and one's partner), and the specter of divorce. Instead of focusing on each client's weaknesses, Schnarch teaches how to find inner strength and resilience that can be used to reaffirm a relationship and reignite sex. William H. Masters of Masters and Johnson fame calls this book "a classic," and no wonder. --Erica Jorgensen
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"A classic."--William H. Masters, M.D.
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Einleitungssatz
"We came here because we had a sexual problem, but you've helped us recognize it's something much larger." Lesen Sie die erste Seite
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"We came here because we had a sexual problem, but you've helped us recognize it's something much larger." Lesen Sie die erste Seite
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Kundenrezensionen
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10 von 10 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Format:Taschenbuch
In the work I've done helping others with their relationships, I've had the opportunity to read plenty of self-help books on relationships. Most of the time I find the books useless, if not harmful. On the recommendation of a friend I checked this book out from the library. Now I'm buying it. I'm also recommending it to every person I know who is ready to make improvements in ALL of their relationships--including their relationships with their self.
While other books focus on trying to communicate and on trying to nail down a specific pattern or behavior, this book recommends learning more about yourself and learning how to be true to yourself in order to act from that position in any relationship. Only by knowing what we want as individuals can we be true to others. Read this book, even if you think your relationships are great. You'll learn something about yourself and how you walk in the world.
7 von 7 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Von M. Dalrymple
Format:Taschenbuch
Ok, to be truthful, I don't particularly like the author (found him to be egotistical) and I didn't like his writing style (found it to be wordy and sometimes hard to find his point)--However! There is an amazing amount of helpful information in this book. It was reccommeded to us by our marriage counselor and we found it is much more about intimacy within marriage than about sex, though there are one or two explicit passages. My husband is really bored by "self-help" books and he thought this was the most helpful of the three that were recommeded to us. He said that he went into it expecting the book to talk about my shortcomings and instead found it discribed him just as much. And in a manner that doesn't make you feel bad about yourself--a big plus. Inspires you to grow and change to heal your relationship, holds your hand when you're resistant to changing, helps you decide to change anyway.
13 von 14 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Von B. V. Michael
Format:Taschenbuch
My wife and I have been married for 7 years. We have had a great time together but gradually we started being colder and less anticipating. It was obvious that the things were going in a bad direction. I was reluctant to rely on a book but a friend of mine recommended me this one so I bought it. I completely agree that this is an excellent book!
It provides a lot of information in a pleasant and easy to understand and apply way. My wife was also fascinated and eagerly read it. It helped us to turn our conflicts into a positive and constructive tool, which we use to improve several aspects of our marriage now. It is especially helpful for couples who have lost more or less their intimacy and are willing to put some efforts to get it back. Trust me it is well-worth the time, conversations and the satisfaction of knowing that tomorrow will be better than today.
Dr. Schnarch's book also contains a chapter about better sex. It is quite explicit. I know from personal experience that mature men tend to develop serious problems such as premature ejac., (semi) impotence, etc which have very negative effect on a marriage. That's why in addition I highly recommend "Scientifically guaranteed multi-orgasms and ultimate sex" by scientist Ritz, which helped me to overcome quickly my problems and started enjoying great pleasure in bed.
It provides a lot of information in a pleasant and easy to understand and apply way. My wife was also fascinated and eagerly read it. It helped us to turn our conflicts into a positive and constructive tool, which we use to improve several aspects of our marriage now. It is especially helpful for couples who have lost more or less their intimacy and are willing to put some efforts to get it back. Trust me it is well-worth the time, conversations and the satisfaction of knowing that tomorrow will be better than today.
Dr. Schnarch's book also contains a chapter about better sex. It is quite explicit. I know from personal experience that mature men tend to develop serious problems such as premature ejac., (semi) impotence, etc which have very negative effect on a marriage. That's why in addition I highly recommend "Scientifically guaranteed multi-orgasms and ultimate sex" by scientist Ritz, which helped me to overcome quickly my problems and started enjoying great pleasure in bed.
3 von 3 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Von scott davies
Format:Taschenbuch
Most evangelical Christians (of which I am one) would not read David's book, but they should! His language is pretty "worldly" and can be offensive, but the concepts that he discusses are actually Scriptural. His basic concepts are actually more scriptural than most of the so-called "Christian" books that we find in Christian book stores. His basic concept of "Differentiation" really is nothing more than being mature enough to live out "Covenant-style" relationships. In a Covenant relationship, the person offers to love and give in relationship not based on what they get back, but solely on the basis of their own integrity (wholeness). I give to you, not in order to get back, but simply because I CHOOSE to give to you, without regard to how you give back. God himself demonstrated covenant-style relationship first with Israel and now offers it to all through His Son.
David Schnarch's language is hard to get around, but the concepts, as applied to relationships are really worth the effort. We Christians say that God created sex to be great and marriage to be great, but most of us have real difficulty in living that out because we are stuck in "contract-style" relationships (I give so that you can give back to me and I can then feel good about myself) [borrowed functioning and reflected sense of self]. David's book can help transition us out of contract style relationships to "Covenant-style" relationships.
2 von 2 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Von Hugo Schwyzer
Format:Taschenbuch
Very briefly --
Though my girlfriend and I are a bit younger (and less married!) than most of the couples described in Schnarch's marvelous book, we have benefitted enormously from reading it together. Recently, we each read a chapter a week separately (we each have our own copy) and then met to discuss what we had read and how to apply it in our relationship. The basic Schnarchian notion that NO ONE is ready for marriage, that marriage MAKES you ready for marriage -- learning that was worth the purchase price alone. For those who are worn out by the tiresome platitudes of the Mars and Venus crowd, this is the ticket. Marvelous.
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5.0 von 5 Sternen
Sehr hilfreiches und vorallem praktisches Buch
Dieses Buch empfehle ich jedem Partner einer Beziehung, egal ob die Beziehungen schwierige Momente durchgeht oder nicht. Lesen Sie weiter...
Vor 4 Monaten von Anja de Portocarrero veröffentlicht
5.0 von 5 Sternen
A bible for people in committed relationships
A wonderful book and certainly a bible for people who are in committed relationships.
The author presents a lot of case studies of couples he has successfully treated and I... Lesen Sie weiter...
The author presents a lot of case studies of couples he has successfully treated and I... Lesen Sie weiter...
Veröffentlicht am 21. Oktober 2010 von ntlwllr
5.0 von 5 Sternen
An incredible tool
As a young single man,
I was surprised to find the answers to my question about personal growth a book about marriage. Lesen Sie weiter...
I was surprised to find the answers to my question about personal growth a book about marriage. Lesen Sie weiter...
Veröffentlicht am 9. Februar 2010 von M. Hansen
5.0 von 5 Sternen
Would give it more stars if I could
This is an extraordinary book, full of depth, and insight, andabove all, this book will destroy the common myths that exist rightnow about relationships. This process that Dr. Lesen Sie weiter...
Veröffentlicht am 1. Juli 2000 von Eileen Grimes
5.0 von 5 Sternen
Get it Now
My marriage of 13 years had lost almost all of its passion. I was thinking of leaving until I read this book and it compelled me to analyze what went wrong. Lesen Sie weiter...
Am 2. Mai 2000 veröffentlicht
5.0 von 5 Sternen
best book on relationships i've read so far
Passionate Marriage is the best book i've come across on intimate relationships. Schnarch's focus on the need to differentiate is crucial to the idea of being able to relate as... Lesen Sie weiter...
Veröffentlicht am 23. März 2000 von T. Tree Walker
5.0 von 5 Sternen
Far Beyond Just Marriage
Simply an excellent book to help you discover YOU. If people are put off by the title because they are not married, it will be their loss, for this book is written for the... Lesen Sie weiter...
Am 2. Dezember 1999 veröffentlicht
5.0 von 5 Sternen
Outstanding! A MUST READ!
Well researched. Well written. Case-based. Contemporary couples in a relationship who are married or who are contemplating marriage can and will benefit from this book. Lesen Sie weiter...
Am 16. Oktober 1999 veröffentlicht
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