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Dr. Henry Cloud has written or cowritten more than twenty books, including the bestselling Boundaries series. His books have sold more than ten million copies. Dr. Cloud has appeared on numerous radio and TV broadcasts, including ABC News, PBS, and FOX News, and has been featured or reviewed in the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and others. He is a frequent speaker on such topics as leadership, relationships, and personal growth both nationally and internationally. Dr. Cloud is an avid golfer and enjoys boating, deep-sea fishing, and scuba diving, and he lives in Los Angeles with his wife and two daughters. -- Dieser Text bezieht sich auf eine andere Ausgabe: Taschenbuch .

Leseprobe. Abdruck erfolgt mit freundlicher Genehmigung der Rechteinhaber. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.

Never Go Back

INTRODUCTION

NEVER GO BACK


I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was sitting on my patio after I had found out that one of my businesses was in very serious trouble. I had hired someone to run it who, for close to a year, had given me strong and positive reports. I had no reason to think anything was amiss . . . until that morning.

He came into my office and told me that we needed a big infusion of cash to meet upcoming obligations. I was shocked. Everything he had been telling me had put me in the mind-set of expecting a big payoff in the near term, not the necessity of a cash infusion—and certainly not one of the size he was asking for. What the heck had happened?

I went into fire-drill mode and uncovered the truth by late afternoon. Suffice it to say, much of what he had been telling me was not true. We were not making money at all; rather, we had been losing money and were in big trouble. And worse, most of the business that he had told me was in the pipeline and secure for the next twelve months was not real. The reports he’d been giving me were more about what he had planned than about reality. Bottom line: The business was in the red and had little revenue set up for the next year. I was devastated.

So that night I went outside on my porch to sit and think and talk to God. That is when it happened. The phone rang, and when I answered it, my heart sank. It was one of my business mentors, a man who had been an immense help to me since I had first begun and who had poured much time and energy into me over several years. He was enormously successful in numerous industries. It seemed that everything he did worked, and he was the last person I wanted to talk to at my moment of failure. How could I tell him how stupid I had been to allow this to happen? He was going to fire me as a student for sure. I did not want to talk to him. Only loyalty and gratitude kept me from saying, “Sorry . . . no one here by that name,” and hanging up.

“What’s happening?” he asked, just checking in.

“Well . . . a lot. And it’s not good,” I said.

“What? What’s going on?” he asked.

“I have a horrible situation . . .” I began. “I have really, really screwed up.” I went from there to tell him the story and the situation I was in because I’d hired the wrong person and hadn’t been fully aware of what was going on in my business. I felt so foolish, so naϊve . . . and just dumb. It was horrible to have to listen to myself relay it.

When I finished the story, the phone was silent. It was probably only a handful of seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. All I could think was that he was going to fry me for being so stupid. Then he said it:

“Well . . . we’ve all been there.”

“What?” A bit stunned, I thought I’d misheard him. “We?” That sounded as if he had done the same thing himself, and that was certainly not possible. Everything he did always seemed to turn out great. What did he mean?

“Been where?” I asked.

“Made that very mistake,” he said. “Hired the wrong person or did a deal with the wrong partner, should have seen it coming, and paid dearly for it.”

“You’ve done that?” I was having a hard time believing my ears.

“Absolutely,” he said. “Anyone who has ever built anything or done anything significant has made that mistake. We’ve all had to learn that one.”

But what he said next was the real zinger:

“But the good thing is that once you learn that lesson, you never go back. You never do it again.”

That phrase never go back caught my attention, as I knew that I didn’t want to repeat what I had done ever again. I didn’t want to entrust something important—like my business—to someone unworthy of that trust ever again. My friend had my attention. The phrase “never go back” resonated.

And it is now the subject of this book—Never Go Back: 10 Things You’ll Never Do Again.

“Never go back.” Never return to what didn’t work. What does that mean? I came to see that the essence of it is this:

There are certain awakenings that people have—in life and in business—that once they have them, they never go back to the old way of doing things. And when that happens, they are never the same. In short, they got it.

That was years ago. From there, I began to be very interested in two things in my work as a clinical psychologist and leadership coach. First, what are key awakenings that successful people go through that forever change how they do things and that propel them to succeed in business, relationships, and life? Identifying these keys could change lives significantly.

And second, once we intellectually understand what we should never do again, how do we actually change? It’s one thing to “understand”; it’s quite another to live out that understanding. Unfortunately, we humans often repeat the same mistakes over and over again. How do we stop?

In this book, we will look at these two questions:

1. What are some of the key awakenings that successful people experience?

2. How do we implement in life what we intellectually understand?

In my experience, both of these are key. In working with people who are highly successful in their personal and business lives, I have found that the answers to these questions are essential to completing the picture. Some people have learned how to implement change but cannot see the life-patterns that are holding them back and keeping them from fruitfulness. In this book, we will clearly identify destructive patterns and behaviors that you’ll never want to go back to.

Other people understand what they need to awaken to, but don’t know how to translate that understanding into new life-patterns. In this book, I’ll show you how.

An “Old, Unpopular, Religious, Negative” Word That Will Change Your Life

When I first got the idea for this book, I wanted to title it I Repent! My desire was to revive this old religious term that gets a bad rap. But I kept getting negative reactions to the idea. I’d literally hear things like . . .

“Gross!”

“Too negative.”

“Sounds like an old angry preacher with white hair yelling at me. I would never read that book.”

“Terrible. Too negative. I would never pick it up.”

But then I would explain what the book is about. . . . “It’s really cool. It is about certain realizations that successful people have in life, and once they ‘get it,’ they never go back to seeing or doing things the old way. A shift occurs in them that leads to lasting change in key areas of life, such as happiness, relationships, and business. I like to think of it as a kind of ‘mental puberty.’ In physical puberty your body changes and you go through doorways never to come back. There is a permanent shift in body and mind. The pubescent youth literally changes.

“The same is true with our psychological, personal, and business growth. When we go through certain doorways of understanding, we never go back to our old way of seeing things,” I said. “People who are happy, successful, and have good relationships have gone through certain common awakenings.... -- Dieser Text bezieht sich auf eine andere Ausgabe: Gebundene Ausgabe .

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32 von 34 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
10 things successful people do NOT do 3. Juni 2014
Von Amazon Customer - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
Dr. Henry Cloud's immense and practical research on what it takes to succeed has uncovered 10 things successful people never do. These same things are what keeps many of us from succeeding where we want.

First 3 things successful people do:
1. They never go back to what has failed unless something has truly changed or is significantly different. They don't go back to an old way of doing things, an old company or an old relationship, unless something significant has changed or is different to merit going forward with that person, company or project.
2. They never try to change another person. They know they cannot force anyone to change. The person has to be motivated to change or have consequences or purpose that are meaningful to the person in order to change. As leaders, they can set up the environment to allow those who want to reach specific rewards. The person with the inner drive will move towards changing their own lives. Person without that drive or without the right motivation will not move towards change. Successful leaders accept this. Great idea for healthy relationships between spouses or within other context of family relationships also!
3. They do not try to please everyone. When you succeed, some will like how you did it, and some won't. Focus on pleasing the humble, loving, encouraging, broken before God people.Don't waste energy on negative critics who are not solutions focused!

Can't wait to read the rest of the book to gain deep practical insights I can apply to my life as well as help my clients to improve their personal and corporate performance results!

Dr. Cloud has an introductory webinar to this book. Recorded replay available via link on webinarjam or drcloud site. The following link might work or not: [...]
20 von 20 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Avoid Mistakes and Live a Happier, Better Life 6. Juni 2014
Von Carolyn Warren - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
How much would you pay to be forewarned about a giant mistake you were about to make in a relationship, career, or business? What if you could have a life coach lead you in such a way that you avoid the traps that cost thousands of dollars and years of grief? That is exactly what Never Go Back by Dr. Henry Cloud does.

I love a good self-help book that inspires and enhances my life, so when I was offered a copy of this book in exchange for a candid review, I jumped at the chance. I am not disappointed.

Dr. Cloud is a psychologist who writes in a down-to-earth way that everyone can understand. He includes plenty of real life stories to illustrate his points and make the reading interesting.

For example, he discusses how to handle critical person who withholds approval, an addicted person who refuses to get sober, an irresponsible person, an under-performing employee, a relationship partner who is not equally investing in the relationship, a frustrating parent, an adult child who doesn’t grow up, and a business partner or coworker who is not matching your effort.

The pages are filled with wisdom such as never go back to pleasing other people at the expense of giving up who you are; and stay mindful of what makes you a partner with God, instead of with the people who want to control you.

I love that Dr. Cloud is coming from a view of faith and belief in God. He is never preachy, but he taps into biblical truth and recites Scripture to back his counsel. It is refreshing to read a book about positive thinking that is also aligned with God's Word.

One of my favorite chapters is Chapter 7: “Never Again Take Your Eyes Off the Big Picture.” Dr. Cloud talks about the big crash of 2008 that affected the mortgage industry I worked for as well as so many others. When things are bottoming out, it’s easy to lose focus. He reminds us that “the one who takes the long view is the one who thrives, no matter what happens along the way.”

In Chapter 12, he writes, “Never going back is pretty much like waking up, in all its forms.” He quotes Ephesians where it says, “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Then he goes on to explain specifically how to go through this process of awakening in your own life.

This book can be one more step in God’s journey for you, as you put the spiritual truths and Dr. Cloud’s wise counsel into practice.
14 von 14 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Strategy for changing destructive behavior 10. Juni 2014
Von Joan N. - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
You've been there, no doubt. The big mistake, the wrong decision that resulted in a devastating situation. Once you've learned that lesson, Cloud says, never go back.

It's one thing to intellectually understand what we should never do again but it is quite another thing to live out that understanding. Cloud tackles those two issues in this book: 1) key awakenings that successful people experience, 2) implementing the life we intellectually understand.

The key awakenings are: never go back to what hasn't worked, to doing something that requires you to be somebody else, to thinking you can change someone, to trying to please other people, to avoiding short-term pain when it leads to long-term benefits, to being taken in by someone or something that looks perfect, to losing the big picture, to taking the easy path and failing to do due diligence, to ignoring the part you play in the situation you are in, to forgetting that your inner life determines your outer life.

Cloud then helps us in implementing what we know, the many ingredients or steps that make change happen. First, we must wake up. Then we think about the end result of what we are doing. We must ask for help and realize the myth of self-help. Cloud identifies eight essential ingredients for change that we get from God and other people. He concludes with principles essential to making change a reality.

I am impressed with this book. Cloud is very practical in exploring the reality of our decisions and their consequences. He has included ways for us to find out if we are doing the wrong behavior and gives plenty of reasons for changing. He includes some of his own life stories and those from other people implementing behavior he suggests (or failing to do so).

This is not a miracle “get out of my situation” book. Cloud has identified the behavior that needs to be changed and the reasons for doing so. He even provides the strategy and essential ingredients necessary to make the changes. The responsibility still remains with the individual to follow Cloud's suggestions. As Cloud notes, with the strength of God, it can be done.

i received a complimentary copy of this book from Howard Books for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
9 von 9 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
A Very Practical Book 9. Juni 2014
Von LH - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verifizierter Kauf
I bought this book after watching Dr Cloud' s webinar. Perhaps it is simply particularly timely in my life now, but for some reason, I think it is one of the best books Dr Cloud has written. It is very readable and I think any adult or even teenager, can benefit from the wisdom in this work. I confess to only being halfway through it, but I had to stop and write this because it is helping me so much right where I live. Sometimes we just need some encouragement to take the proper step in a given situation. This is also a reference book to which I will often return. Thanks again, Dr Cloud!
8 von 8 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Never going back! 3. Juni 2014
Von Steve Reasner - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
Wow this is a great book! Too many times I fall in the trap of doing the same thing over again, unsuccessfully, and Dr. Cloud provides the wisdom and insight of how to recognize when I am doing this. The goal is to break the pattern and take a new path versus falling into the same old habits. With my kids and employees, I try to make them change and the reality is that I have to help them want to change. It is my job to be a change agent rather than be a task master. It is great encouragement and many practical examples and stories that help me visualize how to move forward!
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