"Mike's Election Guide" begins with an "Ask Mike" chapter. The first involves a shopper who took the president's advice 7 years ago and rang up about $30,000 in credit card debt, while his ARM payment doubled. The shopper asks Mike if this means the terrorists are winning. Mike's Response: No - we won because you went shopping. While nearly 1.4 million homes foreclosed in 2008, and we have 10 times the bankruptcies filed now vs. the Great Depression - this is a small price to pay for freedom.
Another asks about American flag lapel pins. Mike responds telling us that we live in an age where its not what you do that counts, but how you accessorize. When asked why the Vietnamese imprisoned the nice John McCain, Mike suggests asking him if it is moral to drop bombs and missiles in heavily populated areas (as McCain did), and also recommends being wary of McCain's temper.
In a chapter titled "How to Elect John McCain," Mike opines that Democrats appear to be professional losers, so pathetic that they lose even when they win (Gore's 2000 vote majority). To help party doofuses and pundits he suggests that Democrats continue saying nice things about McCain (his global warming and campaign finance positions, war hero status), following McCain's lines about expanding "faith-based" initiatives, getting ready to invade Iran, and creating a health plan that doesn't cover everyone.
Mike's Suggestions for Obama's First Days in Office: 1)Bring back the draft, for children of the richest families. 2)Outlaw profit-making in healthcare, while pointing out that fire and police departments are already socialized, and that drug companies do only 17% of the drug research in the U.S. 3)Ban high fructose corn syrup - we consume an average of 63 lbs./year, and its introduction coincides with the growth of obesity in America. 4)Stop paying more taxes than the French. Actually we pay an average of 19% vs. their 22%, but its far greater when one adds in healthcare costs, higher education costs, and day care - all covered by French taxes. 5)Defeat Al Qaeda by drilling water wells in the world's impoverished areas. 6)Make Social Security solvent by having the rich pay their fair share.
Mike then proceeds to provide a list of crimes for which '43 ought to be impeached, primarily dealing with misrepresentations and mismanagement involving Iraq, as well as Valerie Plame's exposure as a CIA agent.
Mike ends by identifying strong Democrat contenders to take Republican Senate seats (23 of 35 open seats in 2008 are Republican held), along with their counterparts in the House.