This book is full of insight. I've been married for 17 years to a wonderful man that I have always respected. I never realized, however, how many little things I said and did that made him feel so belittled. (And he certainly didn't know how to share that with me!) It really is like learning to speak a different language. And although I KNEW he loved me, I also felt that something was missing. It's not easy to change so many years of habit, but understanding why we each react the way we do has made it easier to connect with one another. I whole-heartedly recommend this book, especially if your goal is to make your spouse more happy, and so have a more peaceful marriage. Even if you think you can never respect your husband, or your wife is unlovable, there is valuable knowledge to be gained here.