This book is a manual in applied nero-linguistic programming. The idea is that all people tend to express themselves in language that represents the way they see the world, primarily in feeling, hearing, or visual terms. To this end, the book may be quite useful, not merely in sexual situations or those involving a close relationship between two people, but in many sorts of social interaction (for example, the pioneers of NLP originally designed it to aid in teaching music to their pupils). The books contains a wealth of excellent information about the communication styles of people and how one can alter one's own communication style so as to make better impressions and to get across better. particularly useful was the information on "mirroring", i.e., adopting the bodily postures of other people so as to give them the unconsciously perceived notion that one is either affected by them or is sympatico with regards to them. The claims that the author makes, however, are ludicrous. People are complicated beings and they cannot be reudced down to such simplistic terms. One example she give is quite telling: she has a lady say that she loves a man, using an improper communication style. He quickly dumps her because he takes offence at her words. Please! Unless a man is an absolute moron (sure, most of us guys might be idiots, but then why would you want one of those to fall in love with you?), he would have to be intelligent enough to understand what his lady was trying to say. One cannot "make" someone else fall in love with you, and the techniques are by no means guaranteed like Cabot seems to think. Human beings are not automatons. Still, it could be a very valuable guidebook for politicians and others who need to be able to influence other people tactufully without them realising what is happening. Another manual in manipulating others is the "Satanic Witch" by Anton LaVey; it takes a rather opposite approach, but could be even more effective under suitable circumstances. Still, the book does open the door to dimensions of communication that are largely ignored in our society, but which still have an affect on our behaviour.
