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Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life: At Home, at Work, with Friends (Englisch) Gebundene Ausgabe – 10. Januar 2008


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Synopsis

Everybody needs some healthy narcissism. But in a society obsessed with appearance, wealth and status, it's easy for problematic narcissists to thrive. Many people who seem to 'have it all' are suffering from one of the most common - and overlooked - personality disorders today: high level narcissism. Typified by an obsession to with perfection, a desperate need for admiration and a willingness to use and exploit others for personal gain, high level narcissism can spell devastation for anyone who crosses the narcissist's path.In "Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life", psychotherapist Linda Martinez-Lewi presents an in-depth and supportive plan for identifying, understanding and dealing with high-level narcissistic behaviour in those close to you. Martinez-Lewi helps you to liberate yourself from draining personal relationships with narcissists and shows you how to regain a sense of peace, balance and well-being.

Drawing on detailed profiles of famous narcissists, including Pablo Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright, Armand Hammer and Ayn Rand as well as expertly rendered case studies from her private practice as a psychotherapist, Martinez-Lewi shows how to: understand where narcissistic behaviour come from; learn to spot narcissistic traits, even in the early stages of relationships; realise why attempting to change a narcissist is fruitless; and, protect yourself from the narcissist's opportunism, manipulative behaviour and lack of empathy.

Über den Autor und weitere Mitwirkende

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She lives in Carlsbad, California. -- Dieser Text bezieht sich auf eine andere Ausgabe: Taschenbuch .

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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 115 Rezensionen
177 von 181 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Helpful and Engaging Book 27. Februar 2008
Von Michele Germain - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
I am a psychotherapist in private practice who specializes in working with clients who are going through or have experienced difficult and painful divorces and relationship break-ups. Many clients I see have unknowingly been married to or involved with an ex-partner who is a narcissist. These individuals not only experience confusion, rage, grief, and abandonment over the divorce or break-up but they often blame themselves for the failed relationship. When an individual marries or has a partner who is a narcissist, he or she simply cannot win. The narcissist suffers from an inability to be empathic and is often self-absorbed, personality traits that are difficult to change. The narcissist will not be able to recognize his/her own personality issues that contribute to a failed relationship.

In her clear and engaging book, Martinez-Lewi offers examples from her private practice that vividly bring the narcissist's destructive personality traits (deception, manipulation, ruthlessness, grandiosity, lack of empathy) to life. The reader will learn to empower herself/himself to view the divorce or break-up in a realistic way without personalizing it. Martinez-Lewi offers excellent strategies and tools for protecting ourselves from and handling the narcissist in a self-empowering way. I highly recommend this book to everyone. It is very helpful to those going through divorces and break-ups as well as individuals who are dealing with ex-spouses and ex-partners.
109 von 110 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Your "Magic" Man is NOT Who He Appears to Be 22. März 2009
Von PsychicMike,com - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe Verifizierter Kauf
Oh, the charm and the humor. The love of your life. The one who you call "Magic." Your soulmate, the one who you've spent "many" past lives with. The one that makes you dream and captivates your imagination. He is so wonderfully kind and polite to all those he meets. Yes, at times, he seems to have anger problems and disappears often without notice. The relationship seems lopsided, but he's busy yet still loves you. You've never met anyone in your life like him but interestingly, you've also never sacrificed more.

Your "unique" ability to understand and forgive him is the reason you stay; waiting for him to change to be an equal lover that never materializes. Captured in a dream, you learn to forgive him more and lose yourself, your goals, all to support him and his dreams. You remind him of your need for him to be honest to you although you remain alone at home, restless dreaming about him as he is often "out with friends."

You know "in your heart" that he is a good man and only needs a stable partner that won't leave him so that he grows to love you more. One day, he stops calling, you don't know where he is. You search frantically to find that he has a new lover and you are left with shock, confusion, sadness, and after the wake of despair, a huge financial loss somewhere.

As the author states, the gift that interaction with a narcissist brings is self understanding. Your own life's relationship patterns with others come bubbling to the surface. The relationship patterns that were established through interaction with your parents are ripe to finally be visible to you most clearly and time to be broken forever. If you've tolerated a narcissist in your life at close distance, it is because you have outmoded relationship patterns with others that need to change.

There is no book that will allow you to move forward faster in putting to rest your confusion over who your present or past lover is. As you turn the pages, you will identify with many of the qualities of your partner which you previously noted as "mildly" selfish, demanding, immature, unstable, full of rage, etc.

Chances are that you are a thoughtful and kind person who supported your narcissist partner in futile hopes of returned love for your sacrifices only one day to find that you have been replaced without a glance backwards. Some readers, are still hoping "your magic man" will return to you. You've probably bought books in order to understand your partner and "help" him grow. Narcissistic Personality Disorder has little probability of positive change however, you do. He told you "he won't grow up," but with this book, you will.

I would also like to highly recommend "Welcome to Your Crisis" by Laura Day, these two books in combination are perfect to read at the beginning stages of your "awakening." After all the pain, sadness, sorrow, feelings of being used, you walk away with a deep deep understanding of how you relate to people and how it's time for a change.

PS I am gay and we've got these self-absorbed loonies, losers, and parasites who are trapped in their own mirror too. Good luck.
114 von 119 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Highly engrossing read 31. Januar 2008
Von Judith M. Kriss - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
I am just an ordinary person who now and then encounters someone who makes me want to run as far and fast as I can. We all know who this person is. If we're lucky we don't encounter them before we learn to walk but later on the playground, in school, in our relationships and jobs. The one we vigilantly look out for on the road, and love to watch self destruct in front of the media. This is the narcissist Lewi so aptly describes in her new book. The one who can hurt because he or she cannot feel pain in others.

Her book is a quick, highly instructive and enjoyable read. On a dark rainy afternoon I curled up with it in my favorite chair and immediately became absorbed. From the first chapter she makes clear most of us have a healthy dose of narcissism to boost our self worth to make us motivated and talented. The narcissist, she emphasizes, has a "severe personality disorder." With her peppery language and bottomless insight, Lewi takes us on a fascinating journey behind the mask of the narcissist. From their "bravado" to their "bottomless rage" to their "painful inner void." She shows us the famous and the not so famous. The cruelty and negligence of the brilliant Picasso, and Charlene with her "breathless litany of self."

How do we hold our own, asks Lewi? In the final chapter she takes an honest, straightforward look at our options and comes up with some surprising answers. I was heartened to know most of us are ill-equipped to deal with this kind of personality but that we can walk away with our dignity and sanity intact.

I highly recommend this very engrossing read.

Judith Kriss
143 von 153 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Interesting, but not helpful. 5. Juli 2010
Von Jonny G - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe Verifizierter Kauf
I got the book for help, advice, and ideas for surviving and dealing with being married to someone I believe to be a narcissist, or at least possess a high number of such traits. I was looking for ways to determine which description matches my spouse. I was hoping to find strategies for dealing with a narcissistic spouse and how best to dissolve the relationship with minimum damage to myself and my family. I found very little that went toward achieving this goal.

The book, instead, focuses on what the author calls a, "high-level narcissist." This book focuses on the uber-successful, charming billionaire type. It is full of entertaining, well written vignettes which reveal the depravity of the extremely narcissistic. It does little (nothing) to arm a person to better deal with that kind of domestic relationship. Most all of the strategies for coping were focused on board room settings.
The entire last quarter of the book was written as a guide to use meditation, yoga, and Buddhist philosophy to better equip one's self to stand up to the narcissist. I was under the impression that "Freeing" myself would involve safe exit strategies, not meditation. I did not want an eastern thought primer. But, if you do, this one is very good.

If you want short anecdotes to share with friends, entertaining and poetically written glimpses of narcissism, or a basic meditation guide then this is your book. If you are a personal assistant to a celebrity, then may be some useful nuggets for you. If you want coping strategies for being married to a narcissist, search elsewhere. This is particularly true for those married to a middle-class, run of the mill, everyday narcissist.
47 von 49 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
a helpful book 25. März 2008
Von Elizabeth Michel - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life is a helpful book for all who find themselves entangled with narcissists. Linda Martinez-Lewi's vivid descriptions of clients and famous people with narcissistic personality disorders will educate the inexperienced and unsuspecting about the damage that narcissists can inflict on others. In my work as a physician, I have seen that this damage can be serious. The book will be especially helpful to the many people whose childhoods leave them vulnerable to finding validation as adults through admission to the "special circles" of narcissists, whether in marriage, work alliances, or spiritual cults. I will be recommending Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life to anyone who has been sucked into a narcissist's web, is being targeted by a narcissist's rage, or feels crazy with his own irresolvable rage after being spit out of a special circle.
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