The Five Love Languages Singles Edition [Englisch] [Taschenbuch]

I read the original THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by Dr. Gary Chapman when I was a single freshman in college. I don't remember what inspired me to pick up the book, given that the tagline was "How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate," but I couldn't put it down. I read it in one all-night sitting, crying my way through the sections that illuminated and explained tension I'd had in specific relationships with family and friends. It was dark outside but light bulbs were going off inside my head all night.

"Aha! His primary love language is Acts of Service! No wonder he gets so frustrated when we kids don't help around the house."

"Quality time! That's what she values, not my professions of appreciation and friendship."

Based on its applicability to my own life, I immediately determined that Chapman's ideas about there being five love languages were spot-on. And so did about a zillion other people since he has sold approximately that number of books. If you're one of the few people who has no clue what I'm talking about when I say the five love languages, let me explain.

In Chapman's theory, there are five ways in which people express and understand love. These five "languages" are Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Chapman believes that while some people can often express and understand love in any number of these languages, we all have a primary love language through which we are most comfortable expressing and receiving love. He goes on to say that tension in relationships often stems from not understanding the other person's primary love language --- not understanding how the other person is communicating their love and how that person needs to be communicated to in order to understand they are loved.

Though Chapman originally framed his teaching on the love languages in the context of marriage, it quickly became clear that people in all stages of life were connecting with the concept of the languages. And over the last several years, he has tailored his message for different groups in books including THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES OF CHILDREN, THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES OF TEENAGERS, THE LOVE LANGUAGES OF GOD, and now, THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES FOR SINGLES.

The United States has more singles that any other nation in the world except for India and China. Four out of every ten Americans are single, so it makes sense that Chapman would choose to address this large audience. In THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES FOR SINGLES the core teaching of the original book stays intact but he shapes his message for singles of all stripes --- never married, divorced, widowed, separated, and single parents --- by including anecdotes of the unmarried dealing with various relationship issues.

My one complaint about this book is that the bulk of the anecdotes still seem to revolve around romantic relationships and the looming specter of marriage. A couple of chapters are dedicated to the application of the love languages with roommates, co-workers, family members, etc., but in the chapters that deal with each of the love languages in detail, the illustrations revolve around dating relationships. That's not bad per se, but I would have liked to see more diversity in the types of relationships (i.e. best friends, classmates) that are addressed here.

Having said that, the five love languages themselves continue to ring true in my experience and their adaptation for the single audience is welcome. I highly recommend THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES FOR SINGLES to anyone who would like to improve communication with the people in his or her life. Chapman himself writes:

"My desire for the single who reads this book is that you will learn both to receive and find love in all five love languages. I am assuming that those who take time to read a book on love desire to become better persons, to have better relationships, and to reach their potential of leaving a positive impact on the world. It is my sincere belief that learning to speak and understand the five love languages will help you reach that objective."

--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel

The original Five Love Languages was insightful, had a variety of examples and provided a good amount of psychological and Christian theory and application. This book is supposed to be for singles, but almost every example has to do with dating couples--people I don't really consider single. Rarely does it talk about regular friendship--and when it does, it's guy-girl friendships. I was hoping to get some insight into my same-sex friendships, family relationships and guy-girl non-romantic friendships, but this book falls horribly short of that. Get the original copy and just use a little imagination and brain-power to apply it to your single life. You'll save the time, money and frustration.

Readers of this book, you will have an unfair advantage.

But we all know what they say; all is fair in love and war.

If so, this book is a nuke with a big bang. I have read 3 of his books and this one drove the nail home.

At first it was hard to understand what makes me feel loved is not what makes others feel loved. I thought love was the same for everyone, boy was I wrong.

If you are looking to connect with someone new, this will definitely help you.

If you want to improve a situation at work, school, or at home, here is your answer.

If you want to understand your parents and some of the things they have said to you, again here is your answer.

I was surprised at my test results in the back of this book. When I looked at the results I found out why my mom and I were so far apart for so many years, and why she said some of the things she said that bugged me so much. Her love language was the lowest on my list.

Why my Dad had such a profound effect on me was that he spoke my love languages fluently.

What drove me into bad environments when I was troubled, why I drove around in my car going nowhere; it was because I was just trying to return to a place I felt loved. Knowing this has definitely saved me on gas.

I figured out why so many of my past relationships were so shallow and others were so wonderful and special.

The best thing of all is, I know what my love language is now and how to let others know what it is. This makes me happier in all of my relationships.

It is all about making life better, you can express to others what makes you feel better, help others in your life to figure out what their love language is, or figure out their love language on your own.

It takes so little effort to make someone feel good.

So why not?