I read this book twice, first as a counselor approaching the subject as a professional dealing with my counselees' grief, and second I reread it during the last year of my wife's life (and the thirteenth year of her fight with breast cancer). She was in hospice for her last nine months in our home, with me serving 24/7 as her primary caregiver. It is now eight months since she died. Dealing with the grief was terribly difficult. Most of the awful affect is now gone though I still shed tears when the ghosts of our 37 years of life together intrude upon my recovery, as they are doing right now as I write. It's a shame that this book has been allowed to go out of print. It is the best book have I found dealing with the reality of grief as it is experienced from inside the survivors. I corresponded with the author to encourage him to reprint it, and he says it will not be possible for him to issue a new edition. There is new material. This is still the best for an overview of the experience of grief. Please read my original review below. Richard Weston-Jones, 08-15-2011
This is a very interesting book, for ordinary readers as well as counselors dealing with grief. Here's what the author says about the experience that about half of all people have with a loved one after that person's death:
"The mind and body of the newly bereaved are so driven to retrieve the loved one who has died that most people, during the early weeks and months of bereavement, have experiences where they believe they have seen, heard, touched, smelled, or felt the presence of their spouses. They may be aware that what they are experiencing is an illusion or hallucination, but that does not detract from the `realness' of the sensation. The contact takes different forms: searching and waiting for the loved one, experiencing external sensory evidence of his presence, or sensing his presence from within.
"In other instances the bereaved may talk or write to their dead spouses.... Bereavement is probably the only common experience where these `symptoms' are not considered particularly pathological. On the one hand, they are distortions of reality and evidence of disordered thinking. On the other hand, in the context of the mental and emotional turmoil of bereavement, they are considered `normal' experiences--regular and normative (statistically) occurrences among `normal' people undergoing enormous stress."
Shuchter tells the stories of real people with whom he has worked as their grief counselor. It's a shame this book is out-of-print, but used copies are often available on Amazon.com.
