"I never wanted to have kids. I didn't because, you know, you're nice to them, you bring them up, you suffer, you take care of them and then they grow up and accuse you of having Alzheimer´s."
"Now girls, have I ever told you the facts of life? - Oh, not this again. - Stay away from boys 'cause they are all disgusting, self-indulgent beasts that pee on bushes and pick their noses."
"What have we done to hurt you? And don't deny it, I can smell an ex-Catholic a mile away. What did we do? Burn a few heretics, sell some indulgences?"
"What's the matter with you? I think your brain is going soft with all that comedy you are playing with that young girl. Never tell anyone outside the family what you are thinking again."
"It's very confusing when grown-ups do things that aren't fair. But you have to accept that these things happen in life... - Oh, for Christ's sake! Isn't anybody in charge around here?"
"The sole excuse for a relationship between two men is that it remains purely platonic. Surely you agree to that. - I don't know. I've come to tell you what I did."
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