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Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love Kindle Edition

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Länge: 242 Seiten Verbesserter Schriftsatz: Aktiviert Sprache: Englisch



Trustworthy Stepfamily Expert Offers Single Parents a Guide to Dating

Single parents who are dating or want to begin a dating relationship wonder, How will dating affect my children and my parenting? They probably have figured out that "dating in a crowd" is complicated. Now they're looking for help. Ron Deal, who has counseled single parents and remarried couples for many years, helps single parents--as well as those who date them--navigate the potential pitfalls involved. He gives perspective on when a relationship may be harmful to the children as well as how it can be a blessing to all. Always at the forefront is the goal of strengthening families. Includes questions for individual or group study.

Über den Autor und weitere Mitwirkende

Ron is a marriage and family author, speaker, and therapist. He is Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and Director of Blended Family Ministries for FamilyLife. Ron is author of The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepdad, and Dating and the Single Pa


  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • Dateigröße: 1501 KB
  • Seitenzahl der Print-Ausgabe: 242 Seiten
  • ISBN-Quelle für Seitenzahl: 0764206974
  • Verlag: Bethany House Publishers (1. Oktober 2012)
  • Verkauf durch: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Sprache: Englisch
  • ASIN: B00997YJZM
  • Text-to-Speech (Vorlesemodus): Aktiviert
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Nicht aktiviert
  • Verbesserter Schriftsatz: Aktiviert
  • Durchschnittliche Kundenbewertung: Schreiben Sie die erste Bewertung
  • Amazon Bestseller-Rang: #941.655 Bezahlt in Kindle-Shop (Siehe Top 100 Bezahlt in Kindle-Shop)

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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf (beta) HASH(0xa10b7270) von 5 Sternen 34 Rezensionen
19 von 19 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0xa71a3e58) von 5 Sternen absolutely excellent 28. November 2012
Von Sonya Jeffords - Veröffentlicht auf
Format: Taschenbuch
Words cannot express how helpful this book has been to me. This book has been truly liberating.

For one, the author has dispelled all my fears (which were acting as enormous pressure) that if I don't remarry, and remarry soon, my children would be lacking and worse off. Yes, an intact family is best for children, but as the author takes time to explain in this book, a blended family is not an intact family, and bringing in a step-parent is quite complicated and generally more likely to have negative effects than positive effects on the children. As the author of this book so wonderfully demonstrates, children raised in a single parent household are very likely to do better than children raised with a step-parent, emphasizing the fact that if remarriage is to be done, it absolutely must be done right. I will readily admit that the idea of "my kids desperately need a good male role model in their lives" has been one of the primary driving factors behind my desire to start dating again, even though I've known for some time that I'm really not emotionally ready to date yet, as much as I would like to be. Removing the pressure of doing this for my kids removes a lot of pressure, and frees me up to think more clearly on the topic.

Secondly, the author has affirmed my approach toward building romantic relationships, which is to be quite direct in defining the relationship on a regular basis. Truly, this was awkward (and unnecessary because there should have been nothing yet to define) in high school, but I'm glad to have my approach affirmed, because I want none of the confusion and wondering of "where do I stand?" on a nearly constant basis (and for me, it is constant). This is not to say that I would directly ask a man whom I am attracted to but have no beyond-acquaintances relationship with whether he is attracted to me (though I have often been tempted to do so, and would gain quite a bit of respect for a man brave enough to ask me such a question directly), but it is to say that if a relationship were already started, I would not hesitate to ask the tough and direct questions when I am wondering them. Honestly, the wondering game can drive a person nuts. If I can't ask you where I stand without scaring you off, you're not right for me, and I was so glad to see this book promoting such an approach to defining the relationship on a regular basis. It really put me at ease, knowing that not only is it okay for me to be direct like that (which is my natural tendency but always feels uncomfortable), but it actually is preferable, and anyone not willing to be direct with me in return would be a yellow caution light and possibly a big U-turn sign for me.

The above two points alone are enough for me to absolutely love this book, but their are other reasons as well.

While this book is mostly aimed at the single parent, it also speaks to the dating partner of the single parent. I'm really glad this was not left out. Marrying a parent is a huge decision, and should not be taken lightly. The topic of dating/marrying a parent could easily fill its own book, but is integrated very nicely in this one.

The author explains the vast difference between "coupleness" and "familyness" and that often blended families will fail because the two adults involved made a great couple, but with the kids involved they do not make a great family. This book helps you to look past the "coupleness" of your relationship and evaluate whether or not you and your love interest also have good "familyness" together with the children involved. This book also stresses the faulty logic behind finding "the one", and that rather you should be focusing your efforts on being "the one", which is something I am already well aware of (and part of the reason I am constantly reading and trying to improve myself), but which I think is a great lessons for others who seem to not grasp this concept.

I also love that this book is a 229 page dose of reality check, because boy did I need one. A remarriage with children involved is such a huge decision, and this book puts that decision in its place. It is not discouraging, but rather encouraging, as it has helped me to see that whether or not I ever remarry isn't what is important. What is important is that I trust God and learn contentedness no matter what my current status and situation are. I already knew this of course, but reading this book put that knowledge at an emotional level of thinking, whereas before I only had that understanding on the logical level of my thinking. As much as I try to be logical, it is so much easier to act on what I know, if I feel it also. When what I feel and what I think are in agreement with each other is when I make the best decisions.

I am very grateful for how the loneliness involved in being a single parent is thoroughly addressed. Loneliness is probably the number one driving factor behind my very strong desire for another marriage relationship, paired with a strong sex drive, which was the primary reason for my lack of wisdom or patience in entering my first marriage and which is also addressed in this book. This book did not get rid of my loneliness or my sex drive (thankfully--I may need it again someday), but it did help me to be at peace with them. I don't have to let either be a pressure toward remarrying prematurely, and I can in fact go the rest of my life dealing with them and not be miserable doing so, if singleness is God's plan for me.

This book stays true to God's plan for marriage and sex, which is another thing I really appreciate about it. The author urges individuals to consider reconciliation with their former spouse, if possible, even if it means breaking up with a current dating partner, and also in no way condones premarital sex or cohabitation.

The funny thing about this book is I started out reading it, totally not ready for a romantic relationship but desperately wanting one, but now that I've finished reading it I am far more emotionally prepared for a new relationship, and far less desperate to have one. So in my opinion, this book's a winner.

Anyway, there's much more I could say, and as with most books, I may get entirely different lessons out of it if I reread it at a different point in my life, which I surely plan to do.

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
5 von 5 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0xa0dea27c) von 5 Sternen A Keeper & A Reference 14. März 2013
Von Nicole W. - Veröffentlicht auf
Format: Taschenbuch
I'm buying this book, and that says a lot. I usually get my books from the library so I don't buy books unless they are GOOD enough that I want to buy it for my personal library. I don't loan these books. I may recommend them. I may even buy another copy and gift it to someone. But I don't loan them. They are just that good.

When I picked up this book (from the library) I didn't know it was a Christian book. I just wanted to find out what I "didn't" know. So I checked it out. Although I did wonder if it was a Christian book when I saw that the foreword was by Dennis Rainey but I wasn't sure until I started reading it. When I found out it was written from a Christian perspective I was pleasantly surprised.

When I began to read the book, just a few chapters in, I was shocked by how much I hadn't considered. I often wished I could write in and highlight the book. Never before have I wanted to underline that much! That's when I knew I had to buy it.

Several times I so wanted single parents, Christian or not, to read this book because I truly believe this was a book for all single parents. So I'm glad that another person who isn't "religious" thought well of the book. Personally I'm glad it was not promoted as a Christian book because it is beneficial for All involved.

I pray this book is read by millions and tops the charts of several best sellers lists!
3 von 3 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0xa0dea2f4) von 5 Sternen Reviewing DATING AND THE SINGLE PARENT 27. Oktober 2012
Von Beverly Kelly - Veröffentlicht auf
Format: Taschenbuch
This book is not a surface-feel-good book, but one that makes you look at yourself realistically. You can't just skim it; every page is important. He quotes a single parent who said, "we had no idea what we were getting into"... after reading THIS book, that won't be you!

The author is up front and in your face with real issues -- he asks you first of all to want God's blessing in whatever you do. He asks questions so you can avoid repeating past mistakes and discern if you are ready to be serious again.

At the end of each chapter he lists discussion questions that hammer home the information, and help you to realistically look at yourself and those you are with.

The author explains the difference between "coupleness" and "familyness" which will give the reader a lot to consider. Coupleness does not equal familyness and should be kept in the forefront of every meeting and activity.

He will probably shock a lot of people about 'soul-mate' but what he says hits the mark; he is right-on and will save people a lot of heart-ache if they listen.

I liked how he promotes involving God and His ways in every area of one's life i.e. a spiritually determined purpose in dating, everyone can learn from. Here is one of the thoughts he puts forth:

"In what way is your purpose in dating blocking God's purpose for you in dating?"

Like I said, he asks thought-provoking and self-examining questions only you can answer.

One piece of wisdom I'll share here is when he says "marry someone, not as a replacement parent, but because you love them and believe they will help you raise your kids in the Lord."

The author gives a behavior list and says he would limit it to 1-4; I would have to say in that area, I would limit it 1-3. You'll have to get the book to see what I am talking about!

I am not a reviewer who 'gives away' the whole story, but I hope this review will give single parents or those dating a single parent, a taste to read this book. It is well worth it.

I was given this book to review by Bakerpublishinggroup Bethany House Publishers, with no restrictions as to how I would review it. I do highly recommend it.


2 von 2 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0xa0dea684) von 5 Sternen A Must-Read for ANYONE considering a remarriage where children are involved 13. Januar 2014
Von lepoul - Veröffentlicht auf
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
The only "negative" thing I have to say about this book is I wish I had read it before I got remarried. This book is definitely a must-read for ANYONE considering remarriage where children are involved - either your own or someone else's. My husband had 3 children from 2 other women when we married. It has been an extremely difficult journey & this book outlined each of the challenges we have faced personally. I actually had to read this book for a graduate school course, and I think every person who knows someone who is considering remarriage when children are involved needs to tell them about this book. I also had some concerns that were addressed in this book that validated my concerns in a couple of areas. My husband would not receive the information from me, but he was receptive to the information coming from a book. I highly recommend all of Deal's books & his website to all single parents. Excellent book!
1 von 1 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
HASH(0xa0dea6b4) von 5 Sternen Highly religious book 5. März 2013
Von Kindle Customer - Veröffentlicht auf
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
For someone who is practicing, strict Christians, this could be a very helpful read. If you are not Christian, this book may turn you off with the religious themes. That being said, I am not a particularly religious person and I did find that a lot of his comments were completely accurate about what to look out for as a warning sign and what to look for in a partner. He treats dating with children post-divorce with the absolute respect it deserves.
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