I personally think this book should be required reading for everyone before they start into relationships. I started this book after I found out my fiancé of several years was cheating on me with a married co-worker. I kicked him out promptly, a few months before we were to get married. And though thoroughly devastated, I had a need to figure out why I kept choosing the same types of loser guys. I was tired of being "broken".
I think the readers that are complaining about the author "settling" have totally missed the point of the book. I am not a "journaler" or a scrapbook person, so I didn't do the exercises. I did however, spend a lot of time thinking about her questions and mentally exploring examples she gave. There were a couple of things I did do - make a list of traits I was looking for in a mate was one of them. This book is valuable in that it makes you think about your choices. She gave a lot of good examples from her own life, of things I've personally done. It was helpful to get an outside perspective, without being put down, and to realize that others have done really stupid things too. It helped me come to terms with a lot of whys -- why things failed, why a certain person was not the "one", etc. and why I have perpetually been seeking the same type of guy.
I am happy to say I found "the one", in not quite 7 weeks, but close. He is nothing like I've ever dated before, he met every criteria on my list and so much more. We are engaged to be married in December. I never knew a relationship could be so good. This book helped immensely in that I was able to move past my previous relationship, turn away guys that were not right for me without guilt, and find a man that treats me the way I always wanted to be treated. I feel incredibly blessed, lucky, and very loved. This book was instrumental in helping me get to this point. It was all stuff I inherently knew, but until it was laid out in front of me, in cold, hard factual form, it really didn't sink in.
I would say if you are having a hard time in relationships and truly are wanting something different and better, then this book can be helpful. But the key, as to anything, is the desire to truly change. If you aren't willing to really put in the effort and make the changes to your behavior then it is pointless. But if you are willing to keep an open mind and work to better yourself, I think this book is a great place to start.