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Bro Code for Parents: What to Expect When You're Awesome [Audiobook, Ungekürzte Ausgabe] [Englisch] [Audio CD]

Barney Stinson , Matt Kuhn , Neil Patrick Harris
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2. Oktober 2012
So you’re going to be a parent.

You might be asking yourself a series of important questions:

Will I be a good parent? • Will I be able to afford this? • Can I ever have sex again?

Well, the answer to all these questions is a rock-solid no. But just because your existence is now a petrifying turd on the canvas of life doesn’t mean your kid has to be as lame as you’re about to become. That’s why I’ve written this book—to teach you how to be an awesomommy or legendaddy.

The Bro Code for Parents will help you:

Choose a baby name that won’t get your kid stuffed into a junior high locker •

Interview and hire a smokin’ hot nanny • Teach your child instant classics like “The Boobs on the Bus” and “Bro, Bro, Bro Your Boat”

With full-color illustrations, interactive work sheets, and even suggestions for how to turn a stroller into a broller, The Bro Code for Parents gives you all the tools you’ll need to raise your child to be almost as awesome as I am. Almost.

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  • Audio CD
  • Verlag: Simon & Schuster Audio; Auflage: Unabridged (2. Oktober 2012)
  • Sprache: Englisch
  • ISBN-10: 1442359668
  • ISBN-13: 978-1442359666
  • Größe und/oder Gewicht: 15,1 x 12,9 x 2,1 cm
  • Durchschnittliche Kundenbewertung: 5.0 von 5 Sternen  Alle Rezensionen anzeigen (1 Kundenrezension)
  • Amazon Bestseller-Rang: Nr. 391.956 in Fremdsprachige Bücher (Siehe Top 100 in Fremdsprachige Bücher)

Mehr über die Autoren

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Über den Autor und weitere Mitwirkende

Barney Stinson is awesome. He works for a powerful bank in New York City but somehow finds time to “suit up” and help the less fortunate, in particular his lovelorn and all together pathetic bro Ted Mosby—seriously, that dude’s got probs. When Barney’s not staging private bikini calendar shoots, test-driving tanks, or elbow-deep in another legendary activity, like riding a tiger bareback or blowing up a guitar, he can be seen on the hit CBS show How I Met Your Mother with his friends Ted, Robin, Lily, and Marshall.

Matt Kuhn is a staff writer for the CBS hit show How I Met Your Mother and also produces Barney’s Blog for the show’s website. He lives in Los Angeles, California, which is conveniently where he works.

Leseprobe. Abdruck erfolgt mit freundlicher Genehmigung der Rechteinhaber. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.


nce upon a time there were three Bros: Barney Bro, Marshall Bro, and Ted Bro. They were going out later for what would no doubt be another legendary night and decided to go pound some shots at the bar to get properly psyched.

Just then Goldislut, a blond hottie who lived upstairs, wandered into their pad, looking to borrow some sugar, if you know what I mean. She decided to sit down and wait for the Bros to get back. Barney’s chair was too hard (what up!), Ted’s chair was too soft, and Marshall’s chair was okay I guess, though it leans awkwardly to the left and he should really get that checked out.

Soon Goldislut grew tired of waiting and went into the bedroom to lie down. Marshall’s bed was too dirty, Ted’s bed was too rigid from inactivity, but Barney’s bed was just right, despite being so big—Goldislut liked it that way.

When the three Bros came home, they found their lair a mess. Marshall Bro said, “Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” Barney Bro said, “Someone’s been sitting in my chair!” And Ted Bro said, “At least something of mine is getting sat on.”

They went into the bedroom and saw Goldislut asleep in Barney’s bed. When she awoke, she winked sexily at Barney Bro but was understandably frightened by Ted Bro and Marshall Bro. Barney Bro kicked them out and gave Goldislut some sugar. Then he had sex with her.

The End


Until your child can walk on his own, you’ll be forced to carry him around in your arms since many cultures frown upon dragging a baby behind you on a tow rope. It can be quite the workout since it’s just like carrying a 25 pound dumbbell everywhere you go . . . if the dumbbell squirmed, drooled, and frequently crapped all over itself. The good news is you’ll quickly start to notice some dramatic muscle growth: your biceps will bulge out faster than when Popeye chugs a can of spinach, your triceps will harden faster than when Bruce Banner gets angry and hulks out, and your forearms will tone faster than when a fourteen-year-old hits puberty and starts cranking his deal like it’s a stubborn can of spray paint.


s you consider having a child, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is, “Am I sober right now?” We’ve all made a poor decision while drunk, be it reenacting the van surfing scene from Teen Wolf or sleeping with a balding chick or commandeering a police horse to escape the balding chick . . . but this is too important a decision to make while under the influence of alcohol.

The question you really need to ask yourself is, “Am I ready to be a parent?” Becoming a mother or a father requires a whole new set of responsibilities, such as

Getting home every single night before 3 AM

Trading in your wardrobe for ugly sweaters and high-riding “slacks”

Watching and having an informed opinion on each week’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Paying taxes

Having sex almost exclusively with just one other person

Many people are understandably nervous about these types of lifestyle changes and aren’t ready to trade in an invigorating social life, geographic mobility, disposable income, a rewarding sense of self, relative quiet, exercise, a flexible calendar, and regular sleep patterns for the joy of wiping diarrhea off a baby’s legs, hands, and face. -- Dieser Text bezieht sich auf eine andere Ausgabe: Taschenbuch .

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Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen
5.0 von 5 Sternen Einfach Witzig 28. Dezember 2013
Super lustiges Buch!!! Für Männer zu empfehlen! Wer gerne englisch liest, einfach ein muss! Würde ich immer kaufen und auch verschenken!
War diese Rezension für Sie hilfreich?
Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf (beta) 4.5 von 5 Sternen  34 Rezensionen
2 von 2 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Great Product 20. November 2012
Von Brad - Veröffentlicht auf
Format:Taschenbuch|Verifizierter Kauf
Not as good as some of the original books but still a very enjoyable read, High recommended along with The Bro Code, Bro on the Go, and The Playbook.
1 von 1 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
3.0 von 5 Sternen Nowhere Near the Quality of the Other Bro Code Books 21. November 2013
Von James N Simpson - Veröffentlicht auf
Format:Kindle Edition
For me this is a running out of ideas, cashing in on the success of the other books and the TV show How I Met Your Mother's popularity type of publication. Most of the stuff in here is a long way beyond what Barney Stinson would actually write, and is just immature lame toilet humour at best. There is the odd parody of children's picture books (or at least the covers) of the Giving Tree, Goodnight Moon, Where the Wild Things Are as well as parodies of nursery rhymes with new titles such as Mary Had a Little Bang, Little Jack Horny, Bro MacDonald that are okay, but the rest of the book is pretty much just filler. I'd check this one out from your local library before paying any money for it.
2 von 3 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
5.0 von 5 Sternen Gift for Future Parents 3. Dezember 2012
Von Terry - Veröffentlicht auf
Format:Taschenbuch|Verifizierter Kauf
I gave this gift to my brother and sister-in-law who recently had a baby. This is a very funny book and they have througouhly enjoyed what they've read so far. I would recommend as a gift for first time parents.
3.0 von 5 Sternen Meh. 8. Juli 2014
Von Ragel - Veröffentlicht auf
Format:Taschenbuch|Verifizierter Kauf
I love me some Barney stories, and I love that his spin is all throughout the book but...the book really wasn't that impressive. I skimmed through it in about 5 - 10 minutes and was done. No need to read back through it, and no desire to read the whole thing.
5.0 von 5 Sternen Read some of this before I bought it. I ... 4. Juli 2014
Von Michelle - Veröffentlicht auf
Format:Taschenbuch|Verifizierter Kauf
Read some of this before I bought it. I previewed it by clicking the "Look Inside!" button next to the picture on Amazon. It's hilarious, as expected.
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