- Gebundene Ausgabe: 224 Seiten
- Verlag: Doubleday (5. Mai 2009)
- Sprache: Englisch
- ISBN-10: 0385527934
- ISBN-13: 978-0385527934
- Größe und/oder Gewicht: 14,5 x 2,4 x 21,7 cm
- Durchschnittliche Kundenbewertung: 5.0 von 5 Sternen Alle Rezensionen anzeigen (1 Kundenrezension)
- Amazon Bestseller-Rang: Nr. 204.575 in Englische Bücher (Siehe Top 100 in Englische Bücher)
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Bad Mother
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Produktbeschreibungen
Pressestimmen
Praise for BAD MOTHER
"Many find Waldman's honesty hard to take. For some of us it's hard to live without." –People, 3 1/2 stars
"Absorbing reading... takes brave risks... What really makes Waldman's book interesting, as voices on motherhood go, is Waldman herself--the intensity of her positions and the way she thinks." –New York Times Book Review
"Waldman's book is nothing short of a revelation." –The Oregonian
"Waldman admits that she's an oversharer-which happens to be a great trait for a memoirist. Her essays about motherhood are hilarious, heartbreaking, and edgy." –Newsweek
"Nuanced and thoughtful... Waldman is often an astute commentator on contemporary parenting." –Boston Globe
"Waldman hates to hold back, and that trait serves her well in Bad Mother." –The Washington Post
"Bound to stimulate ferocious discussion." –San Francisco Chronicle
"Waldman is a courageous and talented writer. Her greatest accomplishment in this book is to take her experience--some of our worst fears--and make it something we can understand.... Isn't that a mother's real job?" –Susan Cheever, The Daily Beast
"Fascinating.... If she's honest, every mother will see herself reflected in the pages of this book." –The Anniston Star
"Waldman writes in these well-fashioned essays how a mother's best intentions frequently go awry.... [her] frank revelations are chatty and sure to delight." –Publishers Weekly
"This is not only a wonderfully written book, but I think it may also be a book of great salvation for many women. Most of the mothers I know (the honest ones, the tired ones, the confused ones) will see themselves reflected in these wise pages, and will find long-overdue comfort here."
–Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love
"I have often felt that it is impossible to be a mother without a profound, even corrosive, sense of failure, or at least that's how I feel about myself. To find a book that shares that anxiety, and an author who dissects this insecurity and self-doubt with wit, honesty and proper, enquiring intelligence, is (as a reader) like being grossly dehydrated and being presented with a vat of water to drink.... I am sad to have finished it, and feel I want to be in the company of her frank intelligence forever."
–Nigella Lawson
"Ayelet Waldman writes cleanly and thoughtfully about motherhood as both an experience and a spectator sport. Bad Mother is blunt, wry, prescriptive and pleasurable."
–Meg Wolitzer, author of The Ten-Year Nap
"Ayelet Waldman's sane perspective on the challenges of motherhood comes as a relief. I relished her graceful language, self-mocking humor, her clear, if sometimes painful, insight. And I admire her–deeply– for the bracing honesty that redeems it all."
–Peggy Orenstein, author of Waiting for Daisy
"Ayelet Waldman writes about motherhood the way women live it: Not only as parents, but also as wives, professionals, and most touchingly, former children. Written with humor, insight, generosity, and unflinching honesty, Bad Mother is for anyone who has — or has been — a child."
–Pamela Paul, author of Parenting, Inc. and The Starter Marriage
"Many find Waldman's honesty hard to take. For some of us it's hard to live without." –People, 3 1/2 stars
"Absorbing reading... takes brave risks... What really makes Waldman's book interesting, as voices on motherhood go, is Waldman herself--the intensity of her positions and the way she thinks." –New York Times Book Review
"Waldman's book is nothing short of a revelation." –The Oregonian
"Waldman admits that she's an oversharer-which happens to be a great trait for a memoirist. Her essays about motherhood are hilarious, heartbreaking, and edgy." –Newsweek
"Nuanced and thoughtful... Waldman is often an astute commentator on contemporary parenting." –Boston Globe
"Waldman hates to hold back, and that trait serves her well in Bad Mother." –The Washington Post
"Bound to stimulate ferocious discussion." –San Francisco Chronicle
"Waldman is a courageous and talented writer. Her greatest accomplishment in this book is to take her experience--some of our worst fears--and make it something we can understand.... Isn't that a mother's real job?" –Susan Cheever, The Daily Beast
"Fascinating.... If she's honest, every mother will see herself reflected in the pages of this book." –The Anniston Star
"Waldman writes in these well-fashioned essays how a mother's best intentions frequently go awry.... [her] frank revelations are chatty and sure to delight." –Publishers Weekly
"This is not only a wonderfully written book, but I think it may also be a book of great salvation for many women. Most of the mothers I know (the honest ones, the tired ones, the confused ones) will see themselves reflected in these wise pages, and will find long-overdue comfort here."
–Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love
"I have often felt that it is impossible to be a mother without a profound, even corrosive, sense of failure, or at least that's how I feel about myself. To find a book that shares that anxiety, and an author who dissects this insecurity and self-doubt with wit, honesty and proper, enquiring intelligence, is (as a reader) like being grossly dehydrated and being presented with a vat of water to drink.... I am sad to have finished it, and feel I want to be in the company of her frank intelligence forever."
–Nigella Lawson
"Ayelet Waldman writes cleanly and thoughtfully about motherhood as both an experience and a spectator sport. Bad Mother is blunt, wry, prescriptive and pleasurable."
–Meg Wolitzer, author of The Ten-Year Nap
"Ayelet Waldman's sane perspective on the challenges of motherhood comes as a relief. I relished her graceful language, self-mocking humor, her clear, if sometimes painful, insight. And I admire her–deeply– for the bracing honesty that redeems it all."
–Peggy Orenstein, author of Waiting for Daisy
"Ayelet Waldman writes about motherhood the way women live it: Not only as parents, but also as wives, professionals, and most touchingly, former children. Written with humor, insight, generosity, and unflinching honesty, Bad Mother is for anyone who has — or has been — a child."
–Pamela Paul, author of Parenting, Inc. and The Starter Marriage
Kurzbeschreibung
In the tradition of recent hits like The Bitch in the House and Perfect Madness comes a hilarious and controversial book that every woman will have an opinion about, written by America’s most outrageous writer.
In our mothers’ day there were good mothers, neglectful mothers, and occasionally great mothers.
Today we have only Bad Mothers.
If you work, you’re neglectful; if you stay home, you’re smothering. If you discipline, you’re buying them a spot on the shrink’s couch; if you let them run wild, they will be into drugs by seventh grade. If you buy organic, you’re spending their college fund; if you don’t, you’re risking all sorts of allergies and illnesses.
Is it any wonder so many women refer to themselves at one time or another as “a bad mother”? Ayelet Waldman says it’s time for women to get over it and get on with it, in a book that is sure to spark the same level of controversy as her now legendary “Modern Love” piece, in which she confessed to loving her husband more than her children.
Covering topics as diverse as the hysteria of competitive parenting (Whose toddler can recite the planets in order from the sun?), the relentless pursuits of the Bad Mother police, balancing the work-family dynamic, and the bane of every mother’s existence (homework, that is), Bad Mother illuminates the anxieties that riddle motherhood today, while providing women with the encouragement they need to give themselves a break.
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Format:Taschenbuch|Von Amazon bestätigter Kauf
Der Titel ist wohl etwas reisserisch und nicht wirklich passend, denn hier handelt es sich mehr um ein Memoir der Autorin, episodisch wird das Leben ihrer 4 Kinder dargestellt und wie sie mit den einzelnen Abschnitten umgeht. Entstanden ist es aus einem Essay der Autorin, auf welches sie viele, vor allem negative, Reaktionen erhalten hat, wie bringt man die Liebe zu seinen Kindern und jene zum Ehemann unter einen Hut. Alle, die mit der gleichen Situation konfrontiert sind, können diese sicher nachvollziehen, es ist nämlich teuflisch schwer.
Ich habe das Buch sehr gerne gelesen, mich in extrem vielen Abschnitten haargenau wiedergefunden, als hätte sie mich beschrieben (und die Autorin würde hier sagen "who is this, again?"). Ich kann die Aufregung um das Buch allerdings nicht wirklich verstehen. Klar spricht sie Themen an, welche vor allem im etwas seltsamen Amerika wohl die Gefühle vieler Leute verletzen könnte, aber gerade in dem "land of the free" müsste es doch möglich sein, eine eigene Meinung zu haben, ohne dass man gleich Hassmails bekommt.
Wenn man das Buch nicht als Ratgeber sieht, sonder wirklich als Memoir, dann hat man viel zu lachen, sieht, dass man mit seinen Kämpfen nicht allein ist und wird sich dem Fazit anschliessen können: Das Wohl des Kindes steht im Mittelpunkt. Manchmal schafft man das besser und manchmal schlechter, aber niemand darf einem da reinreden, denn das ist eine sehr persönliche Sache.
Ich habe das Buch sehr gerne gelesen, mich in extrem vielen Abschnitten haargenau wiedergefunden, als hätte sie mich beschrieben (und die Autorin würde hier sagen "who is this, again?"). Ich kann die Aufregung um das Buch allerdings nicht wirklich verstehen. Klar spricht sie Themen an, welche vor allem im etwas seltsamen Amerika wohl die Gefühle vieler Leute verletzen könnte, aber gerade in dem "land of the free" müsste es doch möglich sein, eine eigene Meinung zu haben, ohne dass man gleich Hassmails bekommt.
Wenn man das Buch nicht als Ratgeber sieht, sonder wirklich als Memoir, dann hat man viel zu lachen, sieht, dass man mit seinen Kämpfen nicht allein ist und wird sich dem Fazit anschliessen können: Das Wohl des Kindes steht im Mittelpunkt. Manchmal schafft man das besser und manchmal schlechter, aber niemand darf einem da reinreden, denn das ist eine sehr persönliche Sache.
Die hilfreichsten Kundenrezensionen auf Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
91 Rezensionen
108 von 123 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Very disappointing
26. Juli 2009
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe
Very disappointed by this book, which should be called "Bad Book" rather than "Bad Mother." Her premise, and first chapter, are good: that it's impossible to be a "good" mother in this society, with so many unattainable expectations placed on women. But the book veers off into nothing more than her own personal musings on her personal life, which is not that compelling.
Turns out she's not a bad mother at all. She's really a great mother with four wonderful kids, a great house, a great career, AND the perfect husband, who is a very successful and wealthy author. So, can I relate to her? No. Do I want to hear about her perfect sex life? No. Or her perfect husband? Not really.
I am a truly flawed mother who has a pretty rocky relationship with my teenage daughter, and with my boyfriend (and his kids). I don't have a perfect husband doing most of the cooking and cleaning (and really good wage-earning). I have a really flawed life that has little in common with Waldman's.
Waldman should subtitle her book: "Musings from an Incredibly Lucky, Really Great Mother who Also Has a Perfect Husband." That would be more truthful. She is neither "hilarious" nor "controversial," as the book jacket says. She is mundane, uninspired, and not a great writer. But she is lucky, and a fine mother.
Turns out she's not a bad mother at all. She's really a great mother with four wonderful kids, a great house, a great career, AND the perfect husband, who is a very successful and wealthy author. So, can I relate to her? No. Do I want to hear about her perfect sex life? No. Or her perfect husband? Not really.
I am a truly flawed mother who has a pretty rocky relationship with my teenage daughter, and with my boyfriend (and his kids). I don't have a perfect husband doing most of the cooking and cleaning (and really good wage-earning). I have a really flawed life that has little in common with Waldman's.
Waldman should subtitle her book: "Musings from an Incredibly Lucky, Really Great Mother who Also Has a Perfect Husband." That would be more truthful. She is neither "hilarious" nor "controversial," as the book jacket says. She is mundane, uninspired, and not a great writer. But she is lucky, and a fine mother.
24 von 25 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
I'm conflicted about this book
16. September 2009
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe
I'm conflicted about this book. I wanted to like it. I am a daughter of the 70s, raised to be a feminist, educated to be a lawyer, ended up as a stay at home mom and confused as hell. I experienced the pressure of other moms, and I'm sure I put pressure on other moms, too. I've battled with being a good mom in the eyes of other people (yes, that means you, Mom), and I've reveled in being a Bad Mom on occasion. So really, I wanted to like this book.
I had a large problem, though, in that I don't like the author. I find her to be somewhat spoiled and full of herself, and that element in her stories grated on my nerves. I don't have issue with her saying she loves her husband more than her kids, so I'm not responding to that controversy. I don't have issue with her political positions, although I thought that part of the book was arrogantly written.
My biggest problem is that she doesn't seem as interested in taking the pressure off of all mothers as in taking pressure off herself. I don't need to absolve her of her guilt in parenting -- she needs to do that for herself. I'm glad I didn't buy this book but borrowed it from the library.
I had a large problem, though, in that I don't like the author. I find her to be somewhat spoiled and full of herself, and that element in her stories grated on my nerves. I don't have issue with her saying she loves her husband more than her kids, so I'm not responding to that controversy. I don't have issue with her political positions, although I thought that part of the book was arrogantly written.
My biggest problem is that she doesn't seem as interested in taking the pressure off of all mothers as in taking pressure off herself. I don't need to absolve her of her guilt in parenting -- she needs to do that for herself. I'm glad I didn't buy this book but borrowed it from the library.
56 von 66 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
A Stepmom's Review of a book on being a mom
2. Mai 2009
Format:Gebundene Ausgabe|Amazon Vine™ Rezension
(Was ist das?)
I don't have any of my own children - but I have "aquired" two little boys when I married my husband. Having never been around children I was in for a rude awakening when I discovered that mothering was not at ALL what it appeared to be.
"Bad Mother" is not a book I would have picked up on my own, however I am glad I read it. It's a well written book, and Waldman does have an excellent talent for honest, amusing essays on being a mother and a wife. I did find that many of the areas she touched on resonated in my heart. I was born long after the bra burning days that Waldman lived through and I am not Jewish, nor do I have a lucrative career as an attorney or author, and I don't live in an uber-liberal town filled with good schools. However she WAS able to tap into the side of me that feels like I'm failing as a mother figure to my boys.
Waldman talks about how women in the post-bra burning era have actually set themselves up to feel like failures. We want a career, we believe that we need to work, we also want to be excellent wives, and to be fantastic mothers of perfect children in our fabulously sparkling clean houses. We can't do it - well the vast majority of us can't, there just isn't the time or enough coffee in the world to get it all done, and so we pile the guilt on ourselves making us bitter and unable to appreciate the joys that we do have.
The book contains 18 essays on different aspects of the author's life. These are very honest and personal tales, many are funny, some are heartbreaking, some are thought provoking, but all are honest. This book is not a "how to" or even a vague guide. This book actually reads almost along the lines of a personal series of therapy sessions, as if the author is working through her own fears, faults and shortcomings. Since that is the case - if you share some of these fears this book can actually take a bit of the weight off of your shoulders in the knowledge that you aren't alone in it all.
She discusses the fears we have of losing ourselves in our motherhood - becoming "Tommy's Mom" or "John's Wife" rather then being known for our own contributions. The frustrations of giving up a career and the satisfaction that we would have gained from it. The boredom and maddening feelings that the transition from business woman to mommy can envoke, and the guilt we slather on ourselves for even thinking this way.
I loved the beginning of this book, and I probably would have rated it 4 stars if I had been able to get past my personal hangups of writing her off. I have a hard time feeling sorry for a woman debating on hiring a cleaning lady because of her "feminist" values, or complaining about snarky comments from other Berkley residents, or whining about her choice to give up her prestigious legal career to be a stay at home mom. Most moms don't have the option to hire a cleaning service, or live in Berkley, or even have the option of a legal career. Where I really started to shut off was at the ending of the book when her liberal leanings became the forfront of her writings. I'm registered as an independant and don't believe in either party - and I also don't like to be bashed over the head with party politics from either direction.
If you're not a liberal - you probably won't like this book. The last several essays become extremely liberally biased and some of the poking and prodding about the pros of a gay lifestyle and glory of interracial marriage became enough to make me gag (which is quite a feat considering that I don't have an issue with either.) I would also warn anyone who is extremely pro-life that this book does contain and essay about an abortion and her justification for her choice.
Still - even though I didn't agree with her in-your face political leanings at the end of the book - there were some very touching and eye opening moments that made this book worthy of the read.
"Bad Mother" is not a book I would have picked up on my own, however I am glad I read it. It's a well written book, and Waldman does have an excellent talent for honest, amusing essays on being a mother and a wife. I did find that many of the areas she touched on resonated in my heart. I was born long after the bra burning days that Waldman lived through and I am not Jewish, nor do I have a lucrative career as an attorney or author, and I don't live in an uber-liberal town filled with good schools. However she WAS able to tap into the side of me that feels like I'm failing as a mother figure to my boys.
Waldman talks about how women in the post-bra burning era have actually set themselves up to feel like failures. We want a career, we believe that we need to work, we also want to be excellent wives, and to be fantastic mothers of perfect children in our fabulously sparkling clean houses. We can't do it - well the vast majority of us can't, there just isn't the time or enough coffee in the world to get it all done, and so we pile the guilt on ourselves making us bitter and unable to appreciate the joys that we do have.
The book contains 18 essays on different aspects of the author's life. These are very honest and personal tales, many are funny, some are heartbreaking, some are thought provoking, but all are honest. This book is not a "how to" or even a vague guide. This book actually reads almost along the lines of a personal series of therapy sessions, as if the author is working through her own fears, faults and shortcomings. Since that is the case - if you share some of these fears this book can actually take a bit of the weight off of your shoulders in the knowledge that you aren't alone in it all.
She discusses the fears we have of losing ourselves in our motherhood - becoming "Tommy's Mom" or "John's Wife" rather then being known for our own contributions. The frustrations of giving up a career and the satisfaction that we would have gained from it. The boredom and maddening feelings that the transition from business woman to mommy can envoke, and the guilt we slather on ourselves for even thinking this way.
I loved the beginning of this book, and I probably would have rated it 4 stars if I had been able to get past my personal hangups of writing her off. I have a hard time feeling sorry for a woman debating on hiring a cleaning lady because of her "feminist" values, or complaining about snarky comments from other Berkley residents, or whining about her choice to give up her prestigious legal career to be a stay at home mom. Most moms don't have the option to hire a cleaning service, or live in Berkley, or even have the option of a legal career. Where I really started to shut off was at the ending of the book when her liberal leanings became the forfront of her writings. I'm registered as an independant and don't believe in either party - and I also don't like to be bashed over the head with party politics from either direction.
If you're not a liberal - you probably won't like this book. The last several essays become extremely liberally biased and some of the poking and prodding about the pros of a gay lifestyle and glory of interracial marriage became enough to make me gag (which is quite a feat considering that I don't have an issue with either.) I would also warn anyone who is extremely pro-life that this book does contain and essay about an abortion and her justification for her choice.
Still - even though I didn't agree with her in-your face political leanings at the end of the book - there were some very touching and eye opening moments that made this book worthy of the read.
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