am 23. März 1998
There are so many times when your kids seem to know exactly what to say to make you want to drive off a cliff and you don't of course because you love them. However, with this book and the knowledge you impart from it you can feel safe in your car again. For example, when your kid refuses to do anything you ask him to do (ANYTHING), or even communicate with you at all but will, however, talk in code to the other parent or parent surrogate what are you going to do? (i.e. something has to be done) Once you read this book you'll know exactly what to do. I do now, but I didn't then and the differnce is this book. From this book you can glean that the authoress took a lot of time to come up with her ideas and schemes and not only that, they work. My kids, and I have three of them of varying ages (I guarantee they are NOT triplets), are different now. For example, I picked up two of them from school yesterday (the other one rides the bus) and instead of shrieking at me as per usual, they remained silent, perfectly still. No what she calls "back talk" at all. That was a change (the no back talk part). And I believe it is because of this book about back talk that is causing me to feel grateful (finally). So many thanks to the authoress the result of whose work is this book. I learned that it's not worth it driving around wanting to drive off a cliff but never doing it (in terms of a metaphor). You learn, finally, that the "cliff" isn't the answer and you'll be glad you never considered it seriously. (Just like the donut isn't the real thing the overeater is yearning for -- it's something else. The donut is just the substitute for it). Thanks.
am 11. April 2000
This book was very informative and easy to read. The 4 step program is easy to follow and impliment into our daily life. My 6 year old stepson has really started to use backtalk since having to have longer residentail visits with his mother and starting school. I plan on having his mother read this and try to impliment the 4 steps in their routine too. It is a very fair way to deal with him and his "generation". With all of the outside forces guiding him and his peers towards rude bahavior, parents need to take a more firm stand to take control of their own homes and lives. We were made parents for a reason... to guide and mold our children, not the other way around. It is hard to keep up with the enforcing of the epunishment but it only took a few times for my son to realize I ment what I said and would follow through. I look forward to having this book on hand for when my toddler daughter takes her first step towards backtalking. I feel more confident as a parent and better equiped to handle any backtalking situation that arrises. My thanks go out to Mrs. Ricker & Crowder for an informative and helpful book.
am 28. Dezember 1999
This book teaches adults how to teach children in their lives not to speak rudely to others. It is amazing to realize how early some children learn to backtalk, and how quickly you can break them of that habit (the sooner the better!) The book tells you how to recognize the difference between rude backtalk and requests for topics of conversation (sometimes the difference can be hazy.) It also shows you how to immediately enact a consequence so that the child is told unequivocally that their behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. This book has no room for "IF you do this again, I will do this..." It jumps right in with both feet - "BECAUSE you were rude and that makes me feel bad/sad/angry, I don't feel like doing this nice thing that I had said I would do for you." When the child sees immediate consequences, he learns very quickly and the behavior can be eliminated within a few weeks. This book is straightforward and exceedingly helpful for adults who interact with children of all ages.
am 31. Mai 1999
Our 12 year old daughter was totally disrespectful. We spent a lot of time lecturing and punishing her. Nothing worked and we were frustrated. This program showed us why she behaved this way and what to do about it. It worked perfectly just as soon as we started using it. All of our frustration and heartache is gone. Our friends and relatives noticed and were the first to tell us how wonderful the changes in her are. We're now genuinely proud of our girl! The four methods are easy to remember and use. They're not magic, they just put you, the parent, back in charge. Her grades, self-confidence, and ambition have also improved. My sister has used it too with her totally disrespectful 20 year old college daughter. Same excellent results, but, it's obviously easier to start when the child is younger. We'd rate this tape a 5.0 on a 4.0 scale plus gratitude for a changed life!
am 31. Mai 2000
I enjoyed the book but felt it needed different ways to better communicate with those children who are not down right rude (but could be). In other words, what about how we act as parents? Parents are their children's first teachers and we need to take a look at ourselves first. How's our tone of voice and back talk? Do parents back talk? Yes, and so do teachers. Without even knowing it we can make a huge difference in how our preschoolers and elementary school age children see our behavior. We combined another book, "Mommy - CEO (Constantly Evaluating Others) 5 Golden Rules" (has more communication examples) with "Back Talk" and got awesome results in the classroom as well as with my own children. Both books can be used in home or classroom situations with children and with our co-workers or other relatives/friends just as easy.
am 13. Februar 2000
It was almost time for our daughter to get her driver's license. Her talking back and yelling at me was a scary thought with a driver's license in hand. So we went to a counselor and she recommended the book. I got the tape instead to listen to on my way to work. It was the first day of school, 1999, afterschool she was yelling at me, it was my chance to use a consequence for unwanted behavior. She was grounded, mad and it worked. She tests me still, but knows I won't tolerate the arguments and yelling. The tape gave me a weapon, and taught me it was up to me to change her behavior. Now we have that sweet teenage daughter most of the time. I don't have the concerns anymore of an explosive yelling episode, that were triggered over minor things. Good luck. A very happy mom.
am 4. April 2000
This book was quite a quick read. It was direct and thorough and gave so many scenarious that I deal with on a day to day basis. I am implementing the program and already after the third day I have seen improvements in my childrens' behavior. I have a two year old boy and a five year old girl and both of them have become quite the backtalkers! I really needed this book as I was at my wits end on how to deal with this behavior. It gave me other options rather than just a time out which really never corrected the behavior. I highly recommend this book to every parent. Most importantly, carefully select appropriate programming for your children as they learn lots of rude behavior from their daily television shows they watch on tv.
am 28. Juni 1999
it is very rudimentary. I would like more emphasis on what's needed beyond insisting on respect. If the parents don't model respect for others and themselves, the child won't have any idea what it looks like.
I have used the methods in this book successfully, but slightly modified for my 5 year old daughter so that she won't feel broadsided by consequences before she knows what's expected of her. I tell her first when she's nearing a boundary, and she's eager to learn the rules.
This book DOES give concrete advice about what to do when it feels as if there's nothing you can do. I recommended it to any thoughtful parent who feels guilty about having to set limits.
am 27. Dezember 1999
I read this book in one sitting recently - it's short and an easy read. I started using some of the recommended techniques that same day with our kids and they do work. Yes, they are simple, and most of them are things I already knew about setting boundaries - but sometimes it's helpful to have reminders and specific examples! I've used the techniques with other rude people as well, and while they're generally shocked to hear someone say "I will not interact with you if you will not be civil" it does work. Rudeness is, unfortunately, rampant in our society - this book should be required reading for anyone who's unhappy about it.
am 13. Mai 1999
I read the book in one afternoon and immediately put the suggestions to work. My 3 1/2 year back-talker caught on immediately. Within 3 days, her behavior had changed. No more arguing, no more back-talk, no more negotiating, no more hysterics and temper-tantrums. The recommended method in this book doesn't mean you have to become a monster. Most of my time with my children is full of loving cuddling time with lots of hugs, kisses, praises and self-esteem building encouragement. My husband continues with our old ineffective method of discipline. As such, my daughter continues to argue with him and back-talks to him.