Art of Dying [Englisch] [Taschenbuch]

Dylan Thomas's feelings surrounding his father's death were "Rage, rage against the dying of the light". Death was something to be fought. It's an enemy, not a friend to be welcomed. While the Fenwicks might not swing to the opposite side, they do suggest our culture is obsessed with prolonging life. As a result, we have lost the ability to help people to die a good death. "Hi-tech around the deathbed is sometimes more concerned with the feelgood factor of the relatives and the medical profession, who need to feel they have done everything they can, than with the peace and comfort of the dying,"

The authors claim 67 per cent of people die in a hospital among staff untrained and unequipped to answer their emotional, social and spiritual needs. They write, "We realize the value of a 'birth companion' during childbirth. Perhaps we should now consider that the 'death companion' may have an equally important part to play."

However, they seem nebulous regarding what this means. They suggest a companion is someone who is there, not who necessarily does anything specific. While I agree that "Holding their hands and talking to them may give more comfort than we realize.", at the same time, are there specific things that should be considered in light of death? That is, are there claims about death that each person should evaluate?

It's been said death is an interesting statistic - it's one out of one. The truth is, death has a sobering quality. A brush with it can shake a person to their core. This is what I wish the authors had spent more time on - that is, the clarifying affect of death. When facing death, what becomes most important? If there is an after-life, what seems most reasonable to conclude about it? Is it possible to be wrong about one's view of death? If so, how do we not only comfort and reassure, but do so truthfully? Perhaps those are questions better suited for a hospital chaplain. If so, it would have been helpful to have a few pages on how to select one, or even how to select a spiritual guide well before death.

The strongest part of the book is the practical suggestions for those dying

1 Forgive others and seek their forgiveness; heal broken relationships, however late in the day
2 Search out old friends with whom you have lost touch
3 Value life without clinging to it, and live each day as if it were your last
4 Die where you would most like to - whether at home or in a hospice; alone or surrounded by family
5 Trust your instincts; patients know when their end is near

For relatives and friends

1 Talk to the dying about death if they wish; don't go to great lengths to avoid the issue
2 Make an effort to let go, giving the dying permission to leave in peace
3 Holding hands and talking can give more comfort than you think
4 Don't be so careful not to say the wrong thing that you leave the right thing unsaid
5 Don't shield children: prepare them for a death, and allow them to say a final goodbye

Subtitled "A Journey to Elsewhere," this book is primarily about deathbed visions and visitations. The authors interviewed dozens of caregivers and gathered numerous interesting stories relating to the dying process. "There are plenty of papers about palliative care and pain control, but very few about the mental states during the dying process, or about the visions reported at this time by dying people," they explain their purpose of their investigation and for writing the book.

Dr. Peter Fenwick is an internationally renowned British neuro-psychiatrist and a leading authority on the near-death experience, while Elizabeth Fenwick has authored a number of health-related books. "All the experiences we have been told of point to death being part of a structured and supportive process," they write in the concluding chapter. "They also suggest that a greater understanding of what happens when we die would lead to a removal of our fear of death and open up the possibility of a new beginning, the start of a new journey..."

The Fenwicks' book is by no means the first on the subject of deathbed visions. Sir William Barrett's 1926 book "Death-Bed Visions" has become a classic in the field, while "At the Hour of Death" by K. Osis and E. Haraldsson, first published in 1977, added significantly to Barrett's book. More recently, Dr. Carla Wills-Brandon has added "One Last Hug Before I Go" to the short list of references on the subject. But, as with so many other areas not subject to strict scientific measurement and validation, much of old material has been forgotten, ignored, or resisted and there is a need to periodically resurrect the subject and explore more current cases.

Often, at the moment of death, the Fenwicks found, the dying patient is observed looking at a particular corner of room and commenting that a deceased love one is there. The dying person may stretch out his or her hand as if greeting the person and may even talk to deceased person. "Suddenly my Gran sat up in bed and smiled," one interviewee told the Fenwicks. "She said, `I'm going now and here's Dad and George come to meet me.' She then died still with this big smile on her face. My mother never forgot it."

In exploring deathbed visions and visitations, the Fenwicks examine coincidences, mental states, hallucinations, near-death experiences, and consciousness. In the end, they conclude that the evidence points to humans being "more than brain function, more than just a speck in creation, and that something, whether we regard it as soul or consciousness, will continue in some form or another, making its journey to `Elsewhere'."

I have read a lot of life after death books in my life and this book is one of the best. The books that don't impress me much I trade in at a local used book store, but the ones that I really like I keep. This book is definitely a keeper! I'm a huge fan of death bed visions and this book is chock full of a plethora of death bed visions. It makes for a fascinating read and if you are looking for a book to build you up and fill you with hope in life after death then I highly recommend this book.