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Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies (Englisch) Taschenbuch – Januar 2003


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"The function of sexual fantasy is to undo the beliefs and feelings interfering with sexual excitement, to ensure both our safety and our pleasure," writes clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Michael Bader. In Arousal, Bader discusses the role of sexual fantasy as an unconscious problem solver and describes how his patients have come to understand the background, logic, and positive messages of their fantasies. Bader offers case studies of patients (heterosexual and gay) with varied conflicts, and analyzes their sexual fantasies in light of their desires, guilt, and past and current relationships. Most patients, Bader found, are able to resolve their issues by understanding the meaning and logic of their fantasies and then move on to more satisfying relationships.

Bader also interprets common sex fantasies and discusses sexual boredom in ongoing relationships, the power of pathogenic (irrational and self-defeating) beliefs, and sexual fantasies as a therapeutic key to problems that seem independent of sexuality, such as depression.

This provocative book is scholarly yet accessible to the lay reader interested in psychology. Although readers might be drawn in by the gritty, sexy details about Bader's patients, thoughtful readers also will learn about themselves and what their own fantasies may be addressing and revealing. --Joan Price -- Dieser Text bezieht sich auf eine vergriffene oder nicht verfügbare Ausgabe dieses Titels.

Pressestimmen

Arousal represents an important advance in psychoanalytic thinking about sexual fantasies. (Nancy Friday, author of My Secret Garden)

Bader's story theory of sexual arousal is revolutionary. It has the potential to change forever the way we understand everything about sex. I believe that he has no equal among psychoanalysts in his understanding and elucidation of sexual passion. (Kim Chernin, author of In My Mother's House)

In this brilliant new work, Dr. Michael Bader offers an original and provocative theory that is the most definitive explanation I have ever read of both the psychological and social dynamics of sexual arousal. This highly readable and engaging book should be required reading not only for practicing psychotherapists but for all those who are interested in the how and why of sexual arousal. (Lillian B. Rubin, Ph.D., author of Intimate Strangers)

Bader is a clear, graceful writer, and he makes his points with rare facility in a way useful to both lay people and therapeutic professionals. (Library Journal)

An insider's look at what goes on behind the scenes of our desires. (Kirkus Reviews)

Bader comes across as a compassionate psychotherapist, dedicated to exploring desire in whatever shape it might take. (Library Journal)

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Amazon.com: 21 Rezensionen
41 von 43 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
What gets us hot and bothered? -- Bader explains it all! 30. Juli 2002
Von janeyb - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
I found "Arousal" to be a fascinating analysis of sexual fantasies. Through the use of case studies - the feminist whose biggest turn-on was the idea of being be raped by a custodian, the man whose fantasies involved turning invisible, the fellow who imagined having sex with a bubbly, underage highschool student, and many more - Bader ably demonstrates how a psychoanalyst who is sensitive and open-minded might go about understanding the genesis of a patient's sexual fantasies and turning these insights into something of therapeutic benefit.
Each of the fantasies profiled has a very logical premise that Bader explains clearly and believably. For instance, the feminist fantasized about being raped because she felt stronger than most men, and only in the arms of the fantasy rapist - who was all muscles and ruthless about taking what he wanted - could she just think about herself and surrender to her own excitement. With her own husband, she didn't feel nearly as comfortable about being selfish sexually (she was instinctively sensitive to his feelings), and thus didn't experience the same level of arousal as in her fantasies.
Bader makes an interesting distinction - between people who have fantasies, and people who act on their fantasies. I would have enjoyed seeing him go into greater detail in this area. However, his explorations regarding the background of various common fantasies - domination, submission, masochism, sadism, fetishism, underage, invisibility (and myriad others) - more than make up for this lapse.
This book is wonderful for anyone who is curious about the underpinnings of their fantasies, or who is interested in how a psychoanalyst might dissect those same fantasies (and then put that understanding to work). The book is fascinating, provocative and well worth checking out.
20 von 22 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Enriching exploration of a little-understood topic 19. Januar 2005
Von David - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch
The thesis of "Arousal" is that psychological safety is the basis of the bewildering variety of sexual fantasies and preferences -- that the self sets up circumstances in which it feels safe to experience the power of its own sexuality. The way in which each of us does this differs according to our backgrounds. Our relationships with our parents are particularly important -- the elements and experiences in those relationships that made us feel safe or unsafe emotionally directly affect the way we experience our sexuality.

Thus, we can interpret sexual fantasies just as we interpret dreams: as symbols within which our complex needs and fears are encoded.

This book presents an enlightening perspective from which we can begin to understand our own sexual fantasies and preferences. Dr. Bader goes in-depth in exploring guilt, worry, and shame in sexuality; discusses the paradoxical nature of arousal -- the need for both selflessness and selfishness, for instance -- and presents a number of case studies to illustrate.

I'm not certain why other reviewers thought this book was too simplistic. Certainly the central thesis seems simple enough, but I found myself having difficulty following the internal logic of the patients in his case studies -- women who fantasize about being raped, cross-dressers, people who are into sadomasochism or "golden showers," etc. Although everyone seeks emotional safety, the variety of ways each person achieves this is staggering.

As someone who constantly searches for aids to my self-awareness, I had two basic reactions to this book. One was, "Duh, why didn't I think of this before?" The other was, "Wow, this is good stuff." To have an experienced therapist explore the topic in detail helped me to see the depth and complexity of what seems to be very simple on the surface, and provides a solid starting point for those who want to explore the issue more in-depth within themselves.
27 von 33 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Disappointing.... 18. März 2006
Von Patrick D. Goonan - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Taschenbuch Verifizierter Kauf
I didn't find Dr. Bader's arguments to be very persuasive. He seemed to over simplify things to a point where nuance and complexity was lost. Perhaps the case studies that he used included much more data than he based his explantions on. If so, I wish he shared this additional information because a lot of his reasoning wasn't as obvious to me as it was to him. For example, I could come up with lots of alternative ways to interpret what was going on and for Dr. Bader it seemed like there was only one right interpreation -- his.

While this book has some value, especially for people who may not have read much in this area, I thought it was superficial. It wasn't complex enough for a psychotherapy audience and it didn't seem to be a good fit for the popular psyche market either.

I think one would get a better and clearer understanding from Jack Morin's book "Your Erotic Mind." I don't know of anything better out there on this topic. The two authors approach the subject differently, so if you own this book already, you may want to consider a different perspective.
19 von 23 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
At last, answers that take the shame out 26. März 2003
Von Ein Kunde - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
I had always been ashamed of my secret wants in intimate relationships--now I understand why I have them, what they mean and most importantly I no longer feel the shame I associated with them. AROUSAL should be required reading before someone starts dating or enters a sexual relationship. I wish I had this guide in college.
8 von 9 Kunden fanden die folgende Rezension hilfreich
Like having a wonderful, compassionate therapist 15. Juni 2002
Von Ein Kunde - Veröffentlicht auf Amazon.com
Format: Gebundene Ausgabe
What a blessing it was to find this book. For so long I have wondered about whether there was something wrong with me, whether I was different, sick just because I have a rich sexual fantasy life. Reading Dr. Bader's book was such a comfort; he's both knowledgable and sensitive--like a great therapist--which I imagine he is. I recommend this book to anyone who is curious about the place of sexual fantasy in life and especially psychotherapists who need to know a lot more about this subject than I bet they do.
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