"The modern girl thinks nothing of asking or luring a guy to have sex before they have much of a relationship."
The above sentence is pretty much the pervasive sentiment you will find in this book.
I bought this book obviously with some knowledge of what it would contain and some agreement with the title that a good amount of today's teen girls are very aggressive. However, this book makes young teenage girls seem like worldly prostitutes who prey and manipulate boys.
Obviously some, maybe even a great many, do manipulate boys, as do some boys manipulate girls. Not only does the author not give an example of the later (which is fine, that is not the title of the book), but from the examples the author gives of girls manipulating boys, the author has overwhelmingly not seen that there is clearly another side to some of the stories and that the boys in these examples have most probably lied a bit (or more) as far as their involvement in the events that have taken place.
A story with a mom sending a girl home after finding her in their apartment building's hot tub with her son and her son's friend (in that situation whom do you feel has the advantage? Obviously to those with a clear mind, the boy who lied to his parents and did not tell them he was meeting a girl and he brought his friend is probably not in the position of being too thoroughly taken advantage of that night). The mom in this situation sends the girl home, without taking into account that she had to walk 3 blocks at night alone! Christian parenting? NO
Another instance of where a boy snuck out of his home (of course, the girl "behind the scenes began maneuvering to persuade" the boy to sneak out) and biked 3 miles at night (I wonder if this orchestrating girl also bought him extra speedy wheels and super-charged his bike so she wouldn't have to wait too long for him!). The boy and girl messed around in the motor home parked next to her house and were caught by her parents (seems her parents might have been a bit more tuned in than the parents whose kid snuck out!)before they went all the way, however the author sums it up this way: "Dave and Sheila were devastated (these are the boy's parents). It was the last thing they expected from Dustin (ya think?). And what I (the author, not me) find interesting is that after his parents forced him to break off the relationship, Dustin began to see clearly what had happened (of course he did! His own parents had provided him the excuse and the scapegoat...the girl! Talk about not teaching kids responsibility for their actions). He had been dazzled and blinded by Emily, and once he had put some distance between them, he began to understand how it happened - how Emily had manipulated him and how he had just gone along with it. (all 3 miles on his bike!). He was shocked at how easy it had been to become ensnared."
I am shocked at how easily these parents and this author (president and CEO of FamilyLife) have become ensnared!
This book even parallels a story of tigers escaping from the zoo, with girls.
The author is very insistent also that the boys ask out the girls and not opposite.
Another story in the book: a girl was waiting outside of a locker room for a boy. "She had sent him notes saying she liked him, and she opened her arms for a hug, which they had done before. Then she grabbed his neck and sucked as hard as she could. Nobody would have know, but now he had a hickey on his neck, and he had to face his parents. Seth felt horrible and didn't want anything to do with a girl like that. Your son needs to know that situations like that can happen in an instant."
Uff-duh again! Any parent or parenting "expert" who believes that this girl just randomly decide to suck this guys neck without some kissing going on first is clearly clueless, in denial and has put their son on a pedestal they will never live up to and neither will any future wife. Run away girls, quick!
This style of parenting will only set your child up to disrespect and resent women for the feelings of lust that men might feel due to interactions with women. It sets them up to find blame and lie. This sounds like a dangerous thing to me.
Parents, I did buy this book because teenage girls (as well as preteens) can be aggressive and teenage boys can be clueless. Other teenage boys (often the ones with the parents in the above examples) can be aggressive and manipulative also. I bought this book because my son is 15 and my daughter is 12 and the dating years are at some point in the future. I am looking for direction and am searching out good resources. I have found girls pretty aggressive when pursuing my son. This book however, is in my garbage bag, not even my donation bag, for some of the stereotypes and myths it encourages. There are far more acceptable books that teach respect and how to guard oneself from aggressive, sexual advances. At best, the author cites some verses in Psalms that deal with seduction and guarding yourself and you can easily find these verses reading Psalms or doing a google search. Talking with kids, even if you are not quite certain what to say, is key.
This book was a disappointment and I am glad I got to see an example of what this author writes before purchasing Passport to Purity and other materials I had planned to get from this author.